(no subject)
Okay so I'm not sure why, but the more I spend time with people the more depressed I get. Like I was writing in my journal, (my personal just for me journal) that lately since I honestly dont have anything to wake up for in the morning I have been pretty depressed. I mean I dont technocally have a reason to wake everyday... And I kind of hate it. I want a reason to get up everyday, some reason to sleep in twice a week... you know what I mean? My world is a little less together than I thought it was. I'm not saying hanging out with Ash and Ona is a bad thing cause it's great chyllin with them but for some reason I just cant seem to breathe on my own right now... Its like there is someone next to me telling me "Niki, breathe" I dont know... I have one of those weird depressions where happiness for me just makes me worse off than I was in the first place....
Anyway I think Im gonna go try and sleep and see if maybe my mood will change when I wake up tomorrow....