Allies Review, Part 2
In case you missed it, the review of the first half of the book can be found here.
Welcome to the second half of the book, where things are just nine leves of awful.
( rant is behind here )
Welcome to the second half of the book, where things are just nine leves of awful.
( rant is behind here )
Ha, that's what I thought throughout DN and LotF.
“I wish the Ancestors would send someone to kick Daala’s…”
I'm betting it was less about Jaina being too polite to swear and more trying to get around LFL censoring. But oh, what a clumsy, amateurish way to do it.
Knowing that with his death, that awful scent that was not a scent had ceased to permeate his soul.
In addition to the scent-but-not garbage, this makes no sense whatsoever. So upon Jacen's death, the evil he'd embraced ceased to have any hold on him? Since when? Did Palpatine's darkness "cease to permeate his soul" when Vader threw him down that shaft? Like LotF's musings on the Force before it, this reasoning is both spurious and insulting.
“’Protected?’ Jaina burst out. ‘You were supposed to prevent anything happening to the Fountain, according to the Treaty. Seems like you didn’t. Seems like it got violated pretty darn good.’”
Seems like a certain author thinks she's Joss Whedon writing Firefly. She might want to reconsider this endeavor.
The Mandos have the Temple surrounded
I blame Karen Traviss for this. And I am bitter about it.
Still spelling Kyp’s last name as “Durran”.
Sigh. Never even mind the author at this point; where the hell are the editors?
Is this implying what I think it’s implying? Because I don’t remember Tahiri sleeping with Jacen. Am I wrong on this?
Yes, this is implying what you think it's implying. And no, you are not wrong. Such a thing was never shown, nor even implied to this level. I won't say that LotF absolutely, conclusively ruled it out as a possibility, but there was never a time in the whole series where it even crossed my mind, nor does it make a whole lot of sense considering that Tahiri's ENTIRE REASON for following Jacen was her perpetual, intense, and OOC longing for Anakin. This passage has me in book-hurling mode.
She wanted to use the Force to even out her color, but of course she couldn’t.” (218) Seriously, is this all female Force-users think about? Making sure their complexion appears presentable?
Apparently. And I am infuriated.
Dab, everyone’s favorite Anakin look-alike, picks that moment to walk into the courtroom causing Tahiri to whisper Anakin’s name because she (as well as everyone else Dab runs into) is dumb enough to think it’s actually Anakin.
*facepalm* So we continue with the whole "let's forget the last half of the NJO ever happened" version of Tahiri's characterization. Right.
Um, didn’t Anakin have black hair? And wasn’t he 16 when he died? That one I’m not as sure of since it’s been forever and a day since I read up on NJO.
Dark brown hair (not sandy) and yes, he was sixteen.
Luke meets up with Lando and Jaina. He talks to Lando first before doing more than saying hi to his niece, find that hard to believe but whatever.
It is, however, perfectly in line with all Skywalker/Solo characterization throughout LotF.
So many issues with that I don’t even know where to start.
Then allow me to start by saying that this is truly poor writing. Never even mind characterization. Just the writing, straight out. It's abysmal.
Dorvan remembers that Raynar goes out and sits on the steps of the Temple everyday for lunch, and is pretty sure he’ll do this even though the Mandos have the place surrounded and made the threat about opening fire if anyone other than the crazy Jedi come out (dumb, I know, but whatever).
If he does, then Raynar is a fool beyond measure. But I can't deny that he'd fit right in with the rest of the cast, if so.
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Somewhat ironically, ducks are canon. They were first mentioned in the ANH novelization, written by George Lucas himself.
‘Compassion is for those who deserve it.’ Luke said.”
What you said. It could actually be really interesting to watch the character development that could turn Luke into a person who could say this (in the hands of a talented author like Blank or Knight_Aragorn, anyway), but the profic hasn't done that, therefore he shouldn't say it.
“No one knew exactly what was contained in this vast cluster. It was large enough to contain Shelter, and Daala’s Maw colony, where she had hidden for many years rebuilding her fleet. Neither organization had had a breath of knowledge about the other.” (272) Are you for real right now? One happened over a decade before the other. Of course the two didn’t relate to each other, THEY DIDN’T HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Good Lord, was no one associated with Lucas reading this before print?
Facepalm. Epic, epic facepalm. Oh, to watch the continuity monkeys in Lit try to shoehorn all this crap together.
She searched his eyes for a moment, then the specter of Mara Jade Skywalker said quietly, “Whoever you were with on the Jade Shadow… it wasn’t me.”
Ha, I love the heavy-handedness of saying "the specter of Mara Jade Skywalker" instead of "she." Dun dun dun DUN! Thanks for the dramatic reveal, Golden.
“Tears stung his eyes and his heart swelled with a bittersweet aching. Oh, it was her, it was his Callie, and the love he had once felt for her was still there, still sweet and warm and true.” (310) If you listen very carefully, you can hear gabri_jade at the very least gagging all the way in Arizona (possibly even swearing and screaming).
Giggling hysterically, actually. I'd probably have gone the swearing and screaming route if this had happened back around Sacrifice or before, but at this point, it's like you said: these aren't the characters we knew. This is a badfic AU and little more. And I have got to find a way to write this. Think my earlier guess was right and Luke and Callista will get married after all?
Apparently when Callista was searching for a way to use the Force again (without touching the Dark Side) she came to the Maw where she encountered Abeloth and now the two are some hybrid thing.
Would that make a such a marriage polygamous?
“[Luke] needed to take her away from here, find a way to separate that part of her that was warm, stubborn, brave, humorous Callista” (311) Funny, that’s not how I remember her.
Me either. And not in a rabid Mara fangirl way, either. I recall Callista as being rather aloof and somber, myself.
But essentially Luke realizes that Callista is long gone and refuses Abeloth, so Abeloth goes on the offense.
Aw, shucks.
All of chapters 34 and 35 have me very confused. And how was there any audio recording of Tahiri killing Pelleaon? What, were his quarters and offices under 24 hour surveillance or something? What a ridiculous reverse deus ex machina.
Especially if you’re one of the few left who hasn’t drank the Denning Kool-Aid.
Isn't that the sad truth? Most everyone seems to think he's the Zahn or Stover all over again. I truly don't understand why this is. He's a total hack, if you ask me.
Edit: Whoopsie, html.
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