Allies Review, Part 2
In case you missed it, the review of the first half of the book can be found here.
Welcome to the second half of the book, where things are just nine leves of awful.
Chapter 19
-“[The violence that broke out after the Sith attacked the fountain is] exactly like what the Mandos are doing to the Temple right now. And it was by sheer dumb luck that I wasn’t trapped there as well. I’d left less than a half hour beforehand.” (185) Part of me thinks that Jaina should have stayed behind and helped out the Jedi, but part of me understands why she went off on her own to help her uncle, but the biggest part of me recognizes that this character isn’t really Jaina at all, so whatever.
-“Heh. Maybe ol’ Darima was right. Maybe we have been sent by the Ancestors.”
“I wish the Ancestors would send someone to kick Daala’s…” (185) Ok, don’t hide your swear word behind an ellipses. If you don’t want it there, make it dash and have Lando start to talk over her. The way it’s written here makes it look like Jaina was too polite to swear. And that’s not at all true, especially in a conversation with Lando. Again, characterization please.
Jaina could sense them now, these beings upon whom she was about to pass judgment. Dark side energy was wrapped about them like a shimmersilk cloak. Jaina could almost smell it as something physical, a scent that was almost pleasant, but too cloying to be; a rottenness that gave away the true nature of its power. She swallowed hard, remembering her last fight with Jacen. Knowing that with his death, that awful scent that was not a scent had ceased to permeate his soul.
Again with the level of professional writing, or lack thereof. “…that awful scent that was not a scent”? Are you kidding me?
-All this talk about the beautiful aliens with the Sith makes me think they’re the characters from Avatar with purple skin instead of blue.
-“’Protected?’ Jaina burst out. ‘You were supposed to prevent anything happening to the Fountain, according to the Treaty. Seems like you didn’t. Seems like it got violated pretty darn good.’” (193) I cannot possibly put into words the amount of grandiose eye rolling that last sentence caused me to do.
”We have prepared some food for you, in case you are hungry,” said Darima. “There is a comm panel on the right side of the door. When you have reached your decision, ring let us know, or if you require more food or beverages.”
“Don’t suppose you’ve got any Correllian [sic] whiskey?” asked Lando. “I prefer Whyren’s Reserve, but I’ll take whatever you’ve got.”
Darima smiled. “I remember you were fond of that. Unfortunately, I do not have any. However, I will send you a bottle of one of our local favorites.”
“Thanks.”
Darima nodded and closed the door. Jaina turned to Lando. “You shouldn’t joke,” she chided.
“Who’s joking?”
“You’re going to drink? Now?”
“Can’t think of a better time. You know your daddy would, too. Especially if he had Whyren’s Reserve.” (193-194)
Has this suddenly become a Western? Who in their right mind would use the word “daddy” to a woman in her mid-thirties. And obvious arguments about bad/ignorant writing are obvious.
-In case you were curious, the verdict went in favor of the Hutts. They did all they could with their limited resources to defend the fountain and shouldn’t have anticipated an attack on it since there hadn’t been one in 25,000 years. As for the Sith, the right-hand lady of their leader threw the other captain she was with under the bus and turned of him, his ship, and his crew for punishment that will most likely be death.
Chapter 20
-The Mandos have the Temple surrounded and are guarding every entrance, even the secret ones. They’ve set up a jamming device that allows comlinks to work within the Temple, but outside of it communication can only come in, not out. The Masters debate what to do next. There’s somewhat of a consensus on trying to extend the 36 hour deadline they’ve been given to turn over two of the crazy Jedi. Kenth wants to be the one to go talk to them, but they stop him saying he’s too valuable. His assistant volunteers. She goes outside, shows she’s not armed and meets the Mando leader halfway down the steps. He points out that she isn’t one of the crazies, she says no and says she is sent to negotiate on Kenth’s behalf. The Mando shoots her dead.
Chapter 21
-New Mando threat: because the Jedi sent out wasn’t one of the crazies, they now have a deadline of 24 hours. Anyone who comes out that isn’t a crazy, even to recover the body of the slain apprentice, will be seen as a signal for all the Mandos to launch an attack against the Temple.
-Still spelling Kyp’s last name as “Durran”. Dear TPTB at SW, please hire your fans to be authors. Not only can we write, but we know how to spell the last names of characters who have been around forever. Half-tempted to start referring to him as Kip Derr-anne.
-Hamner is allowed to call the Mando a “heartless bastard”, but Jaina can’t swear? Really?
-Bwua’tu, Chief of the Navy and Daala’s booty call, contacts Hamner. He tells him that he’s seen the recordings from the previous Mando attack on the Temple and noticed the build-up of Stealth-Xs. Once Bwua’tu confirms with Hamner that the build up isn’t a strike against the GA, he tells Hamner to hold off on their strike until he tells them it’s safe. If Hamner does this, Bwua’tu will not only ensure that the Stealth-Xs can launch without immediately being shot down, but they’ll have the support of the GA Navy.
Chapter 22
”I knew Jacen Solo half my life.”
“So there was no personal relationship?”
[Tahiri]’d known this was coming, and replied calmly. “There was.”
[The prosecutor] tried and failed to hide the gleam of excitement in his eyes. “Please elaborate on the nature of this relationship.”
“Objection,” said Eramuth. “Surely the court has no prurient interest in the details of Tahiri Veila’s private life.”
“Your Honor, I am trying to establish how deeply involved the accused and Jacen Solo were, whether their relationship was personal or professional.”
Judge Zudan considered, then said, “Overruled. The prosecution may continue.”
Tahiri felt heat rising in her cheeks, but kept her face calm. So, would it be accurate to say that you and Jacen Solo were lovers?” Dekkon continued.
“We were involved,” Tahiri said bluntly. “Love had nothing to do with it.”
“So we may assume that you were physically-“
“Objection!” Eramuth said again. His whiskers bristled, and he was the very image of wounded propriety. (216)
Is this implying what I think it’s implying? Because I don’t remember Tahiri sleeping with Jacen. Am I wrong on this?
-“Eramuth’s ear twitched. Despite his display of energy, Tahiri didn’t miss that he reached for the arm of his chair to ease himself down. His face was impassive, but she was sure her own burned sympathetically in response to the rebuke her lawyer had just received. It was an unnecessary and, frankly, petty attack against his age, and she knew he felt the sting. She wanted to use the Force to even out her color, but of course she couldn’t.” (218) Seriously, is this all female Force-users think about? Making sure their complexion appears presentable?
-Tahiri admits that she wasn’t following an explicit order when she assassinated Pellaeon, the defense rests, and her defense goes on to describe what happened to people when they refused to do something a Sith Lord even barely hinted he wanted them to do.
-Dab, everyone’s favorite Anakin look-alike, picks that moment to walk into the courtroom causing Tahiri to whisper Anakin’s name because she (as well as everyone else Dab runs into) is dumb enough to think it’s actually Anakin.
-“He stood there, a ghost come to life. Not the fifteen-year-old boy she remembered and loved, no, but Anakin as he would have been had he survived. Sandy-brown hair, blue eyes, ice blue eyes that were somehow never cold, not when they looked at her-“ (224) Um, didn’t Anakin have black hair? And wasn’t he 16 when he died? That one I’m not as sure of since it’s been forever and a day since I read up on NJO.
-It goes onto say that Viqi Shesh surgically altered Dab to look like Anakin. I don’t ever remember this being brought up. I thought he was a natural doppelganger.
-And of course her defense lawyer set that up to gain favor with the jury.
Chapter 23
-Luke meets up with Lando and Jaina. He talks to Lando first before doing more than saying hi to his niece, find that hard to believe but whatever. The two of them update Luke on both the Sith attack on the Fountain and Daala’s siege on the Temple.
[Jaina] frowned a little as she followed his gaze, moving her left hand somewhat self-consciously behind her back. “Yes, okay, I ended the engagement. I’m the Sword of the Jedi. You named me so, Uncle Luke. And I’ve got to always remember that. No matter what my personal wants or needs are. I have a duty.”
Luke didn’t know the details of the situation. He didn’t know if this decision was the right one or the wrong one. But right now, it didn’t matter. She and Jag would either work it out or they wouldn’t. But for now… “Well, I can certainly use another Jedi. I’ll send you everything I have on Abeloth. But for now-let’s get moving.”
So many issues with that I don’t even know where to start.
Chapter 24
-Daala watches the apprentice being gunned down. Dorvan talks to her about this, Klatooine, and a slave revolt at some lesser-known mining colony. Daala wants Dorvan to arrange it so that Mandos are sent to handle the revolt, even though he thinks it’s a terrible idea.
-Dorvan remembers that Raynar goes out and sits on the steps of the Temple everyday for lunch, and is pretty sure he’ll do this even though the Mandos have the place surrounded and made the threat about opening fire if anyone other than the crazy Jedi come out (dumb, I know, but whatever). Dorvan lies and tells them that Daala ordered the Mandos not to open fire because of Thul and that Dorvan will be there in a minute to talk to him. The Mando leader doesn’t sound obliged to follow those orders.
Chapter 25
-Someone has found a way to attach vials of the sedatives needed to knock out the crazies (which naturally are running low in supply) to vermin and sneak them in through cracks that the Mandos aren’t watching. And that’s really the only semi-interesting thing about this chapter.
Chapter 26
-Leia is the one who’s organizing using rats as carrier pigeons.
-Dorvan recovered the assistant’s body from the steps. He also apparently got Javis Tyrr (the slimy reporter) arrested on charges of espionage. Didn’t care enough to do more than skim that part, so sorry if you’re interested in that storyline, but I doubt you all would be.
Chapter 27
-The Klatooinians have apparently dissolved their treaty with the Hutts.
-This is a slavery chapter, so I’m skipping.
Chapter 28
-I swear if she tries to force one more metaphor to fit into the GFFA by switching out a word or two, I might vomit. “All the caranaks in a row?” I don’t know what caranaks are, and I don’t care. Be creative, and being creative does not mean finding something to replace the word “ducks”.
-Sinkhole Station has been destroyed. Which is fine because I still don’t understand what the crap that whole thing was.
Chapter 29
-Not that you all need another example of how bad the writing is, but I’m going to give it to you anyway:
The large, spinning cylinder ringed by a dozen attached tubes that had been Sinkhole Station was nowhere to be seen. All that was left of the enormous station, and those beings who had lived on it-if you could call Mind Walking living-was chunks of debris. Huge pieces of what were once the gray-white domes, looking like broken eggshells, hung in the icy cold of space, with flotsam and jetsam that were once vessels of all varieties. They were not close enough yet to see bodies, but bodies there would be as well.” (270)
-“Ben, Vestara, and Luke all watched, not averting their eyes at the sudden bright flash of light. Luke felt the dozens of lives aboard the frigate wink out, some immediately, some more slowly.
‘What a waste,’ Luke said. ‘A useless sacrifice. All they’ve done is create more debris.’
He felt a surge of anger, quickly shuttered, from Vestara. ‘One might expect more compassion from a Jedi,’ Vestara said.
‘Compassion is for those who deserve it.’ Luke said.” (271-272) This doesn’t sound like the Luke I know. I could see it happening with character development that all the hardships he’s seen and lived have edged him toward bitterness, but that’s not what happened. It’s just that this is a ship full of Sith. But these words are coming out of the man who refused to believe his father was completely evil and that even though his wife was the Emperor’s personal assassin, she was still a good woman. I hate the inconsistency.
-“No one knew exactly what was contained in this vast cluster. It was large enough to contain Shelter, and Daala’s Maw colony, where she had hidden for many years rebuilding her fleet. Neither organization had had a breath of knowledge about the other.” (272) Are you for real right now? One happened over a decade before the other. Of course the two didn’t relate to each other, THEY DIDN’T HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Good Lord, was no one associated with Lucas reading this before print?
-I went on a Lost binge between reading this book and the previous one, so this is the first time I’ve read about crazy!Jedi perceiving everyone around them as The Others, and it means something totally different now. All I can hear in my head is Ben telling Michael “We’re the good guys.”
-Vestara convinces Dyon that the fake Jedi are actually evil people and that all the fake Sith are working with Abeloth, whose presence Dyon recognizes and wants to join. Vestara gives him an antidote for the sedation and promises to free him when the time is right, but he has to fake being unconscious around the Skywalkers.
Chapter 30
-The landscape Luke encountered while Mind Walking was actually Abeloth’s planet.
-The Sith want to search for Abeloth on foot, but Luke convinces them that they should go Mind Walking to find her. Great, this again.
-Faal, the Keshiri captain who let the second frigate’s crew be executed earlier, is the first to die in the Mind Walking trip.
-Luke doesn’t see Mara initially and wants to check with her since he’s been feeling her presence and and since she warned him so fiercely the first time not to go to Abeloth. Luke calls her name and she floats to the surface:
”Skywalker,” she said, her voice warm. “What are you doing here again?”
Luke squatted down. It made no sense, she wasn’t physical, any more than he was-even less so-but he still wanted to be closer to her. “The woman in the mists,” he said. “She’s not there anymore. We’ve come for her, Mara. We’ve come to stop her.”
Her red brows drew together in a frown. “I can tell who you’re keeping company with,” she said. “They reek of dark side energy.”
He laughed softly. “That they do,” he said, looking back over his shoulder. They were paying close attention. “And I’m sure they’re highly complimented by that. But I’m comfortable in my choice, for now. It feels right, and so does going after Abeloth. Is there anything else you can tell me?”
“About her? Other than to warn you again to stay away from her? No.” She shook her head, her hair swirling about her. But since you’ve come back, I guess you’re not going to listen to me.” She softened the words with a gentle smile of resignation.
“No. I have to do this. Too much is at stake. I had thought this would be the most logical place to look for her.”
“Not if she doesn’t want to be found.”
He nodded. “All right. Back to the old-fashioned way of tracking down an enemy.”
“Sending in the Emperor’s Hand?”
Luke actually laughed. “I do wish you were with me,” he said, not caring that the Sith heard the love in his voice. Let them. Love was a powerful thing. It had built and shattered empires, shaped the history of billions, and of two. He was glad of how deeply had had loved, and did love.
“But then again, you have been,” he amended. “It’s meant so much to me. To see you in the dreams-to almost be able to roll over and touch you right before I wake up.”
“Luke,” Mara said gently.
He didn’t want her to stop him, to tell him she needed to go, not before he had said what was in his heart. “And even when I am awake, I feel you with me. You even talk to me.”
“Luke.” He fell silent, regarding her. She searched his eyes for a moment, then the specter of Mara Jade Skywalker said quietly, “Whoever you were with on the Jade Shadow… it wasn’t me.” (293-294)
Chapter 30
-Luke feels sickened at the realization of something anyone with half a brain figured out chapters ago. He tells the Sith they have to leave and return to their bodies. Mara tells him before they leave that she’s not mad at Luke because Abeloth is powerful and “…next time you feel a ghostly presence lying beside you… make sure it’s me.”
-Apparently “ancient” and “powerful” are the only two words that can be used to describe Abeloth. They must be used at least three times per chapter and always together and in that order.
-Just as Luke is returning to his body, Vestara signals to Dyon to bolt. He does, Ben yells to Vestara to go after him (he can’t leave his father’s side while Luke is transitioning back) but Vestara just stands there. She then tells the Skywalkers that she did this because she knew Dyon would go to Abeloth so she let him go with a tracking device planted on him.
-Dyon finds her, is lured in, and then Abeloth literally begins to suck the life out of him. This is sounding less and less like Star Wars and more and more like some crappy fantasy genre movie.
Chapter 32
-They find Dyon, barely alive, and he tells the group that Abeloth sensed them coming and fled. In his mind, they’re still imposters, but he can at least recognize that’s a lie.
-The go through the cave and into a bright blue light that magically transports them to the place where Luke saw Allana as a grown woman being crowned Queen Mother in the reflection of the fountain. I know that sentence is confusing, but I really can’t summarize it better. Luke declares his presence and a woman appears with dark curly hair and gray eyes that turns into a woman with blond, short hair and gray eyes-Callista.
Chapter 33
-I’d just like to point out, Jaina ran away from Coruscant to help support Luke against the Sith. She’s on the ship with Lando that led the group of them into the Maw, but she’s not on the planet where Luke is hanging out with the Sith. Ummm, what? She broke up with Jag to go sit on a ship? Please.
-“Tears stung his eyes and his heart swelled with a bittersweet aching. Oh, it was her, it was his Callie, and the love he had once felt for her was still there, still sweet and warm and true.” (310) If you listen very carefully, you can hear gabri_jade at the very least gagging all the way in Arizona (possibly even swearing and screaming).
-Apparently when Callista was searching for a way to use the Force again (without touching the Dark Side) she came to the Maw where she encountered Abeloth and now the two are some hybrid thing.
-“[Luke] needed to take her away from here, find a way to separate that part of her that was warm, stubborn, brave, humorous Callista” (311) Funny, that’s not how I remember her.
-I wish I could tell you what’s really going on right now but the writing and story telling is such utter shit that I can’t bring myself to do more than skim it, and that’s causing me to lose some information. But essentially Luke realizes that Callista is long gone and refuses Abeloth, so Abeloth goes on the offense.
-And now we get to Jaina. Let’s see what her excuse is. Oh, she has to be the one to deal with Ship.
-Jaina’s droid’s name is Rowdy. I do not approve. It apparently got the nickname when she was tampering its programming to put in humor protocols. I’m sorry, I think you have R2 units confused with the EMH from Star Trek: Voyager because if Jaina were to tinker with a new R2 unit, I’m pretty sure the first modifications and enhancements she would make to it would fall under a category of, oh I don’t know, astronavigation? Seeing as how that’s its purpose, not being a conversationalist to pilots so they don’t get bored. Please.
-Jaina launches a shadow bomb at Ship, it deflects it. Dogfight time.
-Luke, Ben, Vestara, her dad, the Sith leader, and two others guys fight Abeloth. Vestara is injured she plays on Ben’s feelings for her to distract him with the Sith then attack Luke, but as soon as Ben is paying attention again they all go back to fighting Abeloth (really, I have no idea what’s going on). Ben starts dueling Vestara’s dad and then Abeloth disappears again. They find her with Dyon again. Luke kills Dyon knowing that at this point it’s really Abeloth. She’s finally dead. And I have no idea what just happened in the last five pages or so.
Chapter 34
-Ship has Jaina all but beaten, but then flies away (presumably because Abeloth is dead and it no longer has to serve her). So Jaina goes back to Lando’s ship.
-Since Abeloth is dead the crazy!Jedi are no longer crazy, at least the ones that were hidden away in the Temple.
-Dyon is apparently still alive. I don’t understand what the hell is going on, but whatever. Luke strikes a new treaty with the Sith: the five of them (Luke, Ben, Vestara, her dad, and the Sith Leader) will stay behind to investigate Abeloth’s planet and her corpse. Everyone else (the rest of the Sith, Lando, and Jaina) have to leave.
Chapter 35
-Bwua’tu (whose name is misspelled once in the chapter) meets up with Daala. They have dinner and she rants about the slavery uprisings and how she’s going to send in Mandos to control them. Break in time. Bwua’tu leaves around 3 in the morning needing to talk to the Jedi about what Daala told him when he’s jumped by Jedi who think he’s an imposter. He beats them, which he realizes he shouldn’t be able to do, and just before the second one’s lightsaber kills him as the corpse falls on Bwua’tu, he realizes the Jedi attackers aren’t really Jedi. And again, I have no idea what just happened.
Chapter 36
-Thank God this is the last chapter.
-Tahiri’s trial. The prosecution plays an audio recording that’s been found of Tahiri murdering Gilad and all the conversation that took place before it between the two of them. Tahiri knows she’s screwed. The end.
All in all, a God awful book. I will most certainly not be reading the next one. I hate this series so much right now, and adding a Denning-penned story to that would be disastrous. I’m willing to give Allston one last shot for a few reasons: 1) Deep down I still love his writing 2) I hated his middle book in the last series but mostly liked his final novel in it 3) If they follow the current schedule, it won’t be out for another eight months or so, giving me plenty of time to try and start getting this nasty taste out of my mouth. Anyone who reads the next book, I’d be interested in hearing your take on it. Especially if you’re one of the few left who hasn’t drank the Denning Kool-Aid.
Welcome to the second half of the book, where things are just nine leves of awful.
Chapter 19
-“[The violence that broke out after the Sith attacked the fountain is] exactly like what the Mandos are doing to the Temple right now. And it was by sheer dumb luck that I wasn’t trapped there as well. I’d left less than a half hour beforehand.” (185) Part of me thinks that Jaina should have stayed behind and helped out the Jedi, but part of me understands why she went off on her own to help her uncle, but the biggest part of me recognizes that this character isn’t really Jaina at all, so whatever.
-“Heh. Maybe ol’ Darima was right. Maybe we have been sent by the Ancestors.”
“I wish the Ancestors would send someone to kick Daala’s…” (185) Ok, don’t hide your swear word behind an ellipses. If you don’t want it there, make it dash and have Lando start to talk over her. The way it’s written here makes it look like Jaina was too polite to swear. And that’s not at all true, especially in a conversation with Lando. Again, characterization please.
Jaina could sense them now, these beings upon whom she was about to pass judgment. Dark side energy was wrapped about them like a shimmersilk cloak. Jaina could almost smell it as something physical, a scent that was almost pleasant, but too cloying to be; a rottenness that gave away the true nature of its power. She swallowed hard, remembering her last fight with Jacen. Knowing that with his death, that awful scent that was not a scent had ceased to permeate his soul.
Again with the level of professional writing, or lack thereof. “…that awful scent that was not a scent”? Are you kidding me?
-All this talk about the beautiful aliens with the Sith makes me think they’re the characters from Avatar with purple skin instead of blue.
-“’Protected?’ Jaina burst out. ‘You were supposed to prevent anything happening to the Fountain, according to the Treaty. Seems like you didn’t. Seems like it got violated pretty darn good.’” (193) I cannot possibly put into words the amount of grandiose eye rolling that last sentence caused me to do.
”We have prepared some food for you, in case you are hungry,” said Darima. “There is a comm panel on the right side of the door. When you have reached your decision, ring let us know, or if you require more food or beverages.”
“Don’t suppose you’ve got any Correllian [sic] whiskey?” asked Lando. “I prefer Whyren’s Reserve, but I’ll take whatever you’ve got.”
Darima smiled. “I remember you were fond of that. Unfortunately, I do not have any. However, I will send you a bottle of one of our local favorites.”
“Thanks.”
Darima nodded and closed the door. Jaina turned to Lando. “You shouldn’t joke,” she chided.
“Who’s joking?”
“You’re going to drink? Now?”
“Can’t think of a better time. You know your daddy would, too. Especially if he had Whyren’s Reserve.” (193-194)
Has this suddenly become a Western? Who in their right mind would use the word “daddy” to a woman in her mid-thirties. And obvious arguments about bad/ignorant writing are obvious.
-In case you were curious, the verdict went in favor of the Hutts. They did all they could with their limited resources to defend the fountain and shouldn’t have anticipated an attack on it since there hadn’t been one in 25,000 years. As for the Sith, the right-hand lady of their leader threw the other captain she was with under the bus and turned of him, his ship, and his crew for punishment that will most likely be death.
Chapter 20
-The Mandos have the Temple surrounded and are guarding every entrance, even the secret ones. They’ve set up a jamming device that allows comlinks to work within the Temple, but outside of it communication can only come in, not out. The Masters debate what to do next. There’s somewhat of a consensus on trying to extend the 36 hour deadline they’ve been given to turn over two of the crazy Jedi. Kenth wants to be the one to go talk to them, but they stop him saying he’s too valuable. His assistant volunteers. She goes outside, shows she’s not armed and meets the Mando leader halfway down the steps. He points out that she isn’t one of the crazies, she says no and says she is sent to negotiate on Kenth’s behalf. The Mando shoots her dead.
Chapter 21
-New Mando threat: because the Jedi sent out wasn’t one of the crazies, they now have a deadline of 24 hours. Anyone who comes out that isn’t a crazy, even to recover the body of the slain apprentice, will be seen as a signal for all the Mandos to launch an attack against the Temple.
-Still spelling Kyp’s last name as “Durran”. Dear TPTB at SW, please hire your fans to be authors. Not only can we write, but we know how to spell the last names of characters who have been around forever. Half-tempted to start referring to him as Kip Derr-anne.
-Hamner is allowed to call the Mando a “heartless bastard”, but Jaina can’t swear? Really?
-Bwua’tu, Chief of the Navy and Daala’s booty call, contacts Hamner. He tells him that he’s seen the recordings from the previous Mando attack on the Temple and noticed the build-up of Stealth-Xs. Once Bwua’tu confirms with Hamner that the build up isn’t a strike against the GA, he tells Hamner to hold off on their strike until he tells them it’s safe. If Hamner does this, Bwua’tu will not only ensure that the Stealth-Xs can launch without immediately being shot down, but they’ll have the support of the GA Navy.
Chapter 22
”I knew Jacen Solo half my life.”
“So there was no personal relationship?”
[Tahiri]’d known this was coming, and replied calmly. “There was.”
[The prosecutor] tried and failed to hide the gleam of excitement in his eyes. “Please elaborate on the nature of this relationship.”
“Objection,” said Eramuth. “Surely the court has no prurient interest in the details of Tahiri Veila’s private life.”
“Your Honor, I am trying to establish how deeply involved the accused and Jacen Solo were, whether their relationship was personal or professional.”
Judge Zudan considered, then said, “Overruled. The prosecution may continue.”
Tahiri felt heat rising in her cheeks, but kept her face calm. So, would it be accurate to say that you and Jacen Solo were lovers?” Dekkon continued.
“We were involved,” Tahiri said bluntly. “Love had nothing to do with it.”
“So we may assume that you were physically-“
“Objection!” Eramuth said again. His whiskers bristled, and he was the very image of wounded propriety. (216)
Is this implying what I think it’s implying? Because I don’t remember Tahiri sleeping with Jacen. Am I wrong on this?
-“Eramuth’s ear twitched. Despite his display of energy, Tahiri didn’t miss that he reached for the arm of his chair to ease himself down. His face was impassive, but she was sure her own burned sympathetically in response to the rebuke her lawyer had just received. It was an unnecessary and, frankly, petty attack against his age, and she knew he felt the sting. She wanted to use the Force to even out her color, but of course she couldn’t.” (218) Seriously, is this all female Force-users think about? Making sure their complexion appears presentable?
-Tahiri admits that she wasn’t following an explicit order when she assassinated Pellaeon, the defense rests, and her defense goes on to describe what happened to people when they refused to do something a Sith Lord even barely hinted he wanted them to do.
-Dab, everyone’s favorite Anakin look-alike, picks that moment to walk into the courtroom causing Tahiri to whisper Anakin’s name because she (as well as everyone else Dab runs into) is dumb enough to think it’s actually Anakin.
-“He stood there, a ghost come to life. Not the fifteen-year-old boy she remembered and loved, no, but Anakin as he would have been had he survived. Sandy-brown hair, blue eyes, ice blue eyes that were somehow never cold, not when they looked at her-“ (224) Um, didn’t Anakin have black hair? And wasn’t he 16 when he died? That one I’m not as sure of since it’s been forever and a day since I read up on NJO.
-It goes onto say that Viqi Shesh surgically altered Dab to look like Anakin. I don’t ever remember this being brought up. I thought he was a natural doppelganger.
-And of course her defense lawyer set that up to gain favor with the jury.
Chapter 23
-Luke meets up with Lando and Jaina. He talks to Lando first before doing more than saying hi to his niece, find that hard to believe but whatever. The two of them update Luke on both the Sith attack on the Fountain and Daala’s siege on the Temple.
[Jaina] frowned a little as she followed his gaze, moving her left hand somewhat self-consciously behind her back. “Yes, okay, I ended the engagement. I’m the Sword of the Jedi. You named me so, Uncle Luke. And I’ve got to always remember that. No matter what my personal wants or needs are. I have a duty.”
Luke didn’t know the details of the situation. He didn’t know if this decision was the right one or the wrong one. But right now, it didn’t matter. She and Jag would either work it out or they wouldn’t. But for now… “Well, I can certainly use another Jedi. I’ll send you everything I have on Abeloth. But for now-let’s get moving.”
So many issues with that I don’t even know where to start.
Chapter 24
-Daala watches the apprentice being gunned down. Dorvan talks to her about this, Klatooine, and a slave revolt at some lesser-known mining colony. Daala wants Dorvan to arrange it so that Mandos are sent to handle the revolt, even though he thinks it’s a terrible idea.
-Dorvan remembers that Raynar goes out and sits on the steps of the Temple everyday for lunch, and is pretty sure he’ll do this even though the Mandos have the place surrounded and made the threat about opening fire if anyone other than the crazy Jedi come out (dumb, I know, but whatever). Dorvan lies and tells them that Daala ordered the Mandos not to open fire because of Thul and that Dorvan will be there in a minute to talk to him. The Mando leader doesn’t sound obliged to follow those orders.
Chapter 25
-Someone has found a way to attach vials of the sedatives needed to knock out the crazies (which naturally are running low in supply) to vermin and sneak them in through cracks that the Mandos aren’t watching. And that’s really the only semi-interesting thing about this chapter.
Chapter 26
-Leia is the one who’s organizing using rats as carrier pigeons.
-Dorvan recovered the assistant’s body from the steps. He also apparently got Javis Tyrr (the slimy reporter) arrested on charges of espionage. Didn’t care enough to do more than skim that part, so sorry if you’re interested in that storyline, but I doubt you all would be.
Chapter 27
-The Klatooinians have apparently dissolved their treaty with the Hutts.
-This is a slavery chapter, so I’m skipping.
Chapter 28
-I swear if she tries to force one more metaphor to fit into the GFFA by switching out a word or two, I might vomit. “All the caranaks in a row?” I don’t know what caranaks are, and I don’t care. Be creative, and being creative does not mean finding something to replace the word “ducks”.
-Sinkhole Station has been destroyed. Which is fine because I still don’t understand what the crap that whole thing was.
Chapter 29
-Not that you all need another example of how bad the writing is, but I’m going to give it to you anyway:
The large, spinning cylinder ringed by a dozen attached tubes that had been Sinkhole Station was nowhere to be seen. All that was left of the enormous station, and those beings who had lived on it-if you could call Mind Walking living-was chunks of debris. Huge pieces of what were once the gray-white domes, looking like broken eggshells, hung in the icy cold of space, with flotsam and jetsam that were once vessels of all varieties. They were not close enough yet to see bodies, but bodies there would be as well.” (270)
-“Ben, Vestara, and Luke all watched, not averting their eyes at the sudden bright flash of light. Luke felt the dozens of lives aboard the frigate wink out, some immediately, some more slowly.
‘What a waste,’ Luke said. ‘A useless sacrifice. All they’ve done is create more debris.’
He felt a surge of anger, quickly shuttered, from Vestara. ‘One might expect more compassion from a Jedi,’ Vestara said.
‘Compassion is for those who deserve it.’ Luke said.” (271-272) This doesn’t sound like the Luke I know. I could see it happening with character development that all the hardships he’s seen and lived have edged him toward bitterness, but that’s not what happened. It’s just that this is a ship full of Sith. But these words are coming out of the man who refused to believe his father was completely evil and that even though his wife was the Emperor’s personal assassin, she was still a good woman. I hate the inconsistency.
-“No one knew exactly what was contained in this vast cluster. It was large enough to contain Shelter, and Daala’s Maw colony, where she had hidden for many years rebuilding her fleet. Neither organization had had a breath of knowledge about the other.” (272) Are you for real right now? One happened over a decade before the other. Of course the two didn’t relate to each other, THEY DIDN’T HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Good Lord, was no one associated with Lucas reading this before print?
-I went on a Lost binge between reading this book and the previous one, so this is the first time I’ve read about crazy!Jedi perceiving everyone around them as The Others, and it means something totally different now. All I can hear in my head is Ben telling Michael “We’re the good guys.”
-Vestara convinces Dyon that the fake Jedi are actually evil people and that all the fake Sith are working with Abeloth, whose presence Dyon recognizes and wants to join. Vestara gives him an antidote for the sedation and promises to free him when the time is right, but he has to fake being unconscious around the Skywalkers.
Chapter 30
-The landscape Luke encountered while Mind Walking was actually Abeloth’s planet.
-The Sith want to search for Abeloth on foot, but Luke convinces them that they should go Mind Walking to find her. Great, this again.
-Faal, the Keshiri captain who let the second frigate’s crew be executed earlier, is the first to die in the Mind Walking trip.
-Luke doesn’t see Mara initially and wants to check with her since he’s been feeling her presence and and since she warned him so fiercely the first time not to go to Abeloth. Luke calls her name and she floats to the surface:
”Skywalker,” she said, her voice warm. “What are you doing here again?”
Luke squatted down. It made no sense, she wasn’t physical, any more than he was-even less so-but he still wanted to be closer to her. “The woman in the mists,” he said. “She’s not there anymore. We’ve come for her, Mara. We’ve come to stop her.”
Her red brows drew together in a frown. “I can tell who you’re keeping company with,” she said. “They reek of dark side energy.”
He laughed softly. “That they do,” he said, looking back over his shoulder. They were paying close attention. “And I’m sure they’re highly complimented by that. But I’m comfortable in my choice, for now. It feels right, and so does going after Abeloth. Is there anything else you can tell me?”
“About her? Other than to warn you again to stay away from her? No.” She shook her head, her hair swirling about her. But since you’ve come back, I guess you’re not going to listen to me.” She softened the words with a gentle smile of resignation.
“No. I have to do this. Too much is at stake. I had thought this would be the most logical place to look for her.”
“Not if she doesn’t want to be found.”
He nodded. “All right. Back to the old-fashioned way of tracking down an enemy.”
“Sending in the Emperor’s Hand?”
Luke actually laughed. “I do wish you were with me,” he said, not caring that the Sith heard the love in his voice. Let them. Love was a powerful thing. It had built and shattered empires, shaped the history of billions, and of two. He was glad of how deeply had had loved, and did love.
“But then again, you have been,” he amended. “It’s meant so much to me. To see you in the dreams-to almost be able to roll over and touch you right before I wake up.”
“Luke,” Mara said gently.
He didn’t want her to stop him, to tell him she needed to go, not before he had said what was in his heart. “And even when I am awake, I feel you with me. You even talk to me.”
“Luke.” He fell silent, regarding her. She searched his eyes for a moment, then the specter of Mara Jade Skywalker said quietly, “Whoever you were with on the Jade Shadow… it wasn’t me.” (293-294)
Chapter 30
-Luke feels sickened at the realization of something anyone with half a brain figured out chapters ago. He tells the Sith they have to leave and return to their bodies. Mara tells him before they leave that she’s not mad at Luke because Abeloth is powerful and “…next time you feel a ghostly presence lying beside you… make sure it’s me.”
-Apparently “ancient” and “powerful” are the only two words that can be used to describe Abeloth. They must be used at least three times per chapter and always together and in that order.
-Just as Luke is returning to his body, Vestara signals to Dyon to bolt. He does, Ben yells to Vestara to go after him (he can’t leave his father’s side while Luke is transitioning back) but Vestara just stands there. She then tells the Skywalkers that she did this because she knew Dyon would go to Abeloth so she let him go with a tracking device planted on him.
-Dyon finds her, is lured in, and then Abeloth literally begins to suck the life out of him. This is sounding less and less like Star Wars and more and more like some crappy fantasy genre movie.
Chapter 32
-They find Dyon, barely alive, and he tells the group that Abeloth sensed them coming and fled. In his mind, they’re still imposters, but he can at least recognize that’s a lie.
-The go through the cave and into a bright blue light that magically transports them to the place where Luke saw Allana as a grown woman being crowned Queen Mother in the reflection of the fountain. I know that sentence is confusing, but I really can’t summarize it better. Luke declares his presence and a woman appears with dark curly hair and gray eyes that turns into a woman with blond, short hair and gray eyes-Callista.
Chapter 33
-I’d just like to point out, Jaina ran away from Coruscant to help support Luke against the Sith. She’s on the ship with Lando that led the group of them into the Maw, but she’s not on the planet where Luke is hanging out with the Sith. Ummm, what? She broke up with Jag to go sit on a ship? Please.
-“Tears stung his eyes and his heart swelled with a bittersweet aching. Oh, it was her, it was his Callie, and the love he had once felt for her was still there, still sweet and warm and true.” (310) If you listen very carefully, you can hear gabri_jade at the very least gagging all the way in Arizona (possibly even swearing and screaming).
-Apparently when Callista was searching for a way to use the Force again (without touching the Dark Side) she came to the Maw where she encountered Abeloth and now the two are some hybrid thing.
-“[Luke] needed to take her away from here, find a way to separate that part of her that was warm, stubborn, brave, humorous Callista” (311) Funny, that’s not how I remember her.
-I wish I could tell you what’s really going on right now but the writing and story telling is such utter shit that I can’t bring myself to do more than skim it, and that’s causing me to lose some information. But essentially Luke realizes that Callista is long gone and refuses Abeloth, so Abeloth goes on the offense.
-And now we get to Jaina. Let’s see what her excuse is. Oh, she has to be the one to deal with Ship.
-Jaina’s droid’s name is Rowdy. I do not approve. It apparently got the nickname when she was tampering its programming to put in humor protocols. I’m sorry, I think you have R2 units confused with the EMH from Star Trek: Voyager because if Jaina were to tinker with a new R2 unit, I’m pretty sure the first modifications and enhancements she would make to it would fall under a category of, oh I don’t know, astronavigation? Seeing as how that’s its purpose, not being a conversationalist to pilots so they don’t get bored. Please.
-Jaina launches a shadow bomb at Ship, it deflects it. Dogfight time.
-Luke, Ben, Vestara, her dad, the Sith leader, and two others guys fight Abeloth. Vestara is injured she plays on Ben’s feelings for her to distract him with the Sith then attack Luke, but as soon as Ben is paying attention again they all go back to fighting Abeloth (really, I have no idea what’s going on). Ben starts dueling Vestara’s dad and then Abeloth disappears again. They find her with Dyon again. Luke kills Dyon knowing that at this point it’s really Abeloth. She’s finally dead. And I have no idea what just happened in the last five pages or so.
Chapter 34
-Ship has Jaina all but beaten, but then flies away (presumably because Abeloth is dead and it no longer has to serve her). So Jaina goes back to Lando’s ship.
-Since Abeloth is dead the crazy!Jedi are no longer crazy, at least the ones that were hidden away in the Temple.
-Dyon is apparently still alive. I don’t understand what the hell is going on, but whatever. Luke strikes a new treaty with the Sith: the five of them (Luke, Ben, Vestara, her dad, and the Sith Leader) will stay behind to investigate Abeloth’s planet and her corpse. Everyone else (the rest of the Sith, Lando, and Jaina) have to leave.
Chapter 35
-Bwua’tu (whose name is misspelled once in the chapter) meets up with Daala. They have dinner and she rants about the slavery uprisings and how she’s going to send in Mandos to control them. Break in time. Bwua’tu leaves around 3 in the morning needing to talk to the Jedi about what Daala told him when he’s jumped by Jedi who think he’s an imposter. He beats them, which he realizes he shouldn’t be able to do, and just before the second one’s lightsaber kills him as the corpse falls on Bwua’tu, he realizes the Jedi attackers aren’t really Jedi. And again, I have no idea what just happened.
Chapter 36
-Thank God this is the last chapter.
-Tahiri’s trial. The prosecution plays an audio recording that’s been found of Tahiri murdering Gilad and all the conversation that took place before it between the two of them. Tahiri knows she’s screwed. The end.
All in all, a God awful book. I will most certainly not be reading the next one. I hate this series so much right now, and adding a Denning-penned story to that would be disastrous. I’m willing to give Allston one last shot for a few reasons: 1) Deep down I still love his writing 2) I hated his middle book in the last series but mostly liked his final novel in it 3) If they follow the current schedule, it won’t be out for another eight months or so, giving me plenty of time to try and start getting this nasty taste out of my mouth. Anyone who reads the next book, I’d be interested in hearing your take on it. Especially if you’re one of the few left who hasn’t drank the Denning Kool-Aid.