(no subject)
Feeling much better today. Friend time two days in a row, plus a new baby in the family helps a lot.
I'm glad we have modern medicine though, because my sister almost certainly would have died the day after her child was born if we didn't. She hemorraged a large amount of blood and is on a transfusion now. That was a stressful few hours once they figured out what was happening. I'm glad she's doing better and hope she heals soon so she can go be home with her children.
*****
In other news, I've been having a wonderful daydream all day.
I create a sitcom that gets picked up on Hulu or Netflix or Amazon, or something, about me and my friends. It's cast is as diverse as a show can be featuring gender-queer people (and NOT making their gender a main plot point or defining characterstic just a fact about them), POC, and me and Cayce. So. . . You know. My friends irl. And it would be about what happens AFTER you leave your wild 20's as a divorced person, and all the hilarity that ensues.
I insist it is filmed In Albuquerque, and that I have a say in the cast and crew. We hire mostly locals, thus providing work for a lot of people in my community. I fight that they get compensated adequately.
THEN I take all that money and live just comfortably enough. I pay off my parents house so that they can relax and enjoy their grandchildren without paying a mortgage any more.
I donate some of the remaining money I make to some local and national and international charities. This part was vague because I have literally zero dollars to spend on charity right now, so I don't and it makes me sad that I can't so I ignore most of them. I don't even know what 's out there.
Moving on.
After that I get my yoga teaching certificate and become a yoga instructor. BUT. I don't need money, so I start to offer free classes. My practice has free classes for the following: limited mobility (I would seek out additional understanding on differently abled bodies and try to create yoga that literally anyone could do, even if it's simply focusing on breath. Not even controlling it, just focusing on it. AND MORE!), fat yoga (it's just a yoga class taught be a fat instructor with modifications for bigger bodies, and an environment where fat shame isn't a thing like it is in so many yoga spaces. Also, I'd pay the instructor. I'd do it all for free, but any help I got I'd pay them well.), and I'd try my best to invite anyone who can't afford real yoga practice but could use the self care (I imagine advertising in poor communities and NOT rich white communities). I would provide childcare with snacks (in case there isn't enough food at home) and a well trained professional who knows how to handle children (again, paid well).
I would run off of donations and my own income from the show. I would only be able to teach a couple times a week, but would recruit staff and volunteers who are like-minded.
I don't know what I'd call it, but it would be a sancuary. It would preach mindfulness, kindness, and active rebellion in the form of radical self love.
There was a particularly fun and scathing part of my daydream in which I went into one of the trendy and popular fitness studios here in town that a lot of people I know go to (and invite me to regularly not realizing that I'll never be able to afford the ridiculous membership fees even though I would LOVE to go to a studio that focuses on yoga and barre) and I would invite all of the instructors to a class. They look horrified at going to that "ghetto" free studio, until they show up and realize that I'm better than they are. Fuckers.
****
I guess I must be feeling insecure and unsure of myself lately, since a lot of my daydreams have been about proving to someone that I'm not as shitty as they think I am.
I'm not even sure there's more than ten people in the world who think I'm even a little shitty.
Definitely less than five think I'm really shitty.
I could probably use a break from my own self harassment.
Anyway. this daydream was super fun and engaging and felt like. . . I dont know. Like I wonder if I'd be able to do one of the parts that make this daydream possible.
I'm going to pick up the graphic novel again and keep working on that. . . But I may also try to find book on writing for television. Becuase if I'm being honest with myself, that's what I want to do.
And I want to audition for local plays. I never want to be famous, but I do want to be an artist.
I'm glad we have modern medicine though, because my sister almost certainly would have died the day after her child was born if we didn't. She hemorraged a large amount of blood and is on a transfusion now. That was a stressful few hours once they figured out what was happening. I'm glad she's doing better and hope she heals soon so she can go be home with her children.
*****
In other news, I've been having a wonderful daydream all day.
I create a sitcom that gets picked up on Hulu or Netflix or Amazon, or something, about me and my friends. It's cast is as diverse as a show can be featuring gender-queer people (and NOT making their gender a main plot point or defining characterstic just a fact about them), POC, and me and Cayce. So. . . You know. My friends irl. And it would be about what happens AFTER you leave your wild 20's as a divorced person, and all the hilarity that ensues.
I insist it is filmed In Albuquerque, and that I have a say in the cast and crew. We hire mostly locals, thus providing work for a lot of people in my community. I fight that they get compensated adequately.
THEN I take all that money and live just comfortably enough. I pay off my parents house so that they can relax and enjoy their grandchildren without paying a mortgage any more.
I donate some of the remaining money I make to some local and national and international charities. This part was vague because I have literally zero dollars to spend on charity right now, so I don't and it makes me sad that I can't so I ignore most of them. I don't even know what 's out there.
Moving on.
After that I get my yoga teaching certificate and become a yoga instructor. BUT. I don't need money, so I start to offer free classes. My practice has free classes for the following: limited mobility (I would seek out additional understanding on differently abled bodies and try to create yoga that literally anyone could do, even if it's simply focusing on breath. Not even controlling it, just focusing on it. AND MORE!), fat yoga (it's just a yoga class taught be a fat instructor with modifications for bigger bodies, and an environment where fat shame isn't a thing like it is in so many yoga spaces. Also, I'd pay the instructor. I'd do it all for free, but any help I got I'd pay them well.), and I'd try my best to invite anyone who can't afford real yoga practice but could use the self care (I imagine advertising in poor communities and NOT rich white communities). I would provide childcare with snacks (in case there isn't enough food at home) and a well trained professional who knows how to handle children (again, paid well).
I would run off of donations and my own income from the show. I would only be able to teach a couple times a week, but would recruit staff and volunteers who are like-minded.
I don't know what I'd call it, but it would be a sancuary. It would preach mindfulness, kindness, and active rebellion in the form of radical self love.
There was a particularly fun and scathing part of my daydream in which I went into one of the trendy and popular fitness studios here in town that a lot of people I know go to (and invite me to regularly not realizing that I'll never be able to afford the ridiculous membership fees even though I would LOVE to go to a studio that focuses on yoga and barre) and I would invite all of the instructors to a class. They look horrified at going to that "ghetto" free studio, until they show up and realize that I'm better than they are. Fuckers.
****
I guess I must be feeling insecure and unsure of myself lately, since a lot of my daydreams have been about proving to someone that I'm not as shitty as they think I am.
I'm not even sure there's more than ten people in the world who think I'm even a little shitty.
Definitely less than five think I'm really shitty.
I could probably use a break from my own self harassment.
Anyway. this daydream was super fun and engaging and felt like. . . I dont know. Like I wonder if I'd be able to do one of the parts that make this daydream possible.
I'm going to pick up the graphic novel again and keep working on that. . . But I may also try to find book on writing for television. Becuase if I'm being honest with myself, that's what I want to do.
And I want to audition for local plays. I never want to be famous, but I do want to be an artist.