What is wrong with the world?!
Dear media: Thank you for ruining women's self image everywhere. No, really, thank you. I just love hearing my roommates tell me they're fat and ugly. It makes my day. I especially love it when they tell me to shut up because I'm skinny, so clearly my opinion isn't worth jack. I also love it when they whine about other women and how great they do or do not look. It just fills me up inside and makes me go all glowy!
-______-
That was my flat stare, in case you didn't get it.
It bothers me when people ignore me just because I'm skinny. I was born this way; I have literally done nothing to deserve it, so please don't go hating just because of my genetics. And don't assume that just because I'm skinny, I know nothing of self-image issues. I could go on an all-mighty rant about what's wrong with me, but why bother? It won't change anything, and anyway, I'd rather focus on what's right with me. I am not defined by my flaws.
I wish that the women in my life would remark on what IS right with them. So you're fat, or you think you're fat (those are two separate categories). Great! Is that all you are? Fat? I didn't realize that was a personality trait. "I mean, she was okay, but she was fat, and I just don't get along with fat people. They're just so...fat." It makes sense when I replace "fat" with "rude," but otherwise it just sounds ridiculous. What else is there to you? What about your gorgeous eyes? Or maybe you have beautiful lips? Or both? Or perhaps a nose that is graceful, or maybe small ears. You probably don't have all of those, but which ones DO you have? Maybe you have a fantastic smile. We should walk around commenting on what IS great about us. Just imagine the difference that would make. "I just feel so pretty-smile today!" "My hair really shone in the sunlight today." "The rest of the world may have exploded, but my nose is cute."
Or, better yet, why don't we focus on what really matters, such as the content of our character? And even better than that, the content of other people's character? The people who stick with me the longest are those who have good hearts. Long after we've moved apart, I still think of these individuals. Let me share a few examples:
Amy called Shooter. We lived together my freshman and sophomore years of college. She was nice and kind to everyone, and whenever I felt the need to speak negatively of someone else, she gave me looks that told me I wasn't being very Christlike (or she would just say that verbatim). She always had a nice word for someone and was never disparaging. She just radiated goodness.
Melinda. We lived together my sophomore and junior years of college. In the early days, after I had related a particular story from the previous year, she said, "We're going to be good friends if you have to cry on my shoulder to make it happen." She is really good at making other people laugh. If she catches herself saying something mean about someone, she'll say something nice and then change the subject. If I ever said anything mean, she'd change the subject. She listened to me talk about stupid things that don't matter to anyone but myself, but because they mattered to me and because she loved me, she would listen. Although she struggled with many things, she was always trying to be stronger in the Gospel.
Joran. I love him with all my heart. I often say I want to kick him, which is often true, but my love for him far outweighs the desire to kick, because I've seen him at his best. He helps others with hardly a thought. He'll drop anything and come running to give a blessing. He once sat with me for two hours while I tossed and turned, moaned, groaned, was generally miserable, vomited, and fell asleep, and he never once complained. He is the best home teacher I have ever had.
Cute adorable Nathan. There just aren't words to describe Nathan. To truly understand how good he is, you just have to meet him. Entering his presence is like entering the presence of Good. He used to make cookies for people in the ward who had a birthday, regardless if he knew them or not. He just wanted to celebrate their life because he was genuinely happy they were alive.
These are just four examples. I have so many other friends and family members I could describe. All of them cover the beauty scale from end to end, but it doesn't matter. Their hearts are so beautiful that I can see only beauty in their faces. I wish I could make people understand this. Fat or not, ugly or not, it's irrelevant when compared with what's in your heart. Five or ten pounds overweight or five or ten pounds underweight, it hardly matters if you aren't focused on the correct things.
And really, physical beauty is fleeting. Give it enough years and everybody's chest will be at their drawers anyway. Who will be beautiful then? The ones who have hearts made of gold, that's who.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." ~~Proverbs 31:10
-______-
That was my flat stare, in case you didn't get it.
It bothers me when people ignore me just because I'm skinny. I was born this way; I have literally done nothing to deserve it, so please don't go hating just because of my genetics. And don't assume that just because I'm skinny, I know nothing of self-image issues. I could go on an all-mighty rant about what's wrong with me, but why bother? It won't change anything, and anyway, I'd rather focus on what's right with me. I am not defined by my flaws.
I wish that the women in my life would remark on what IS right with them. So you're fat, or you think you're fat (those are two separate categories). Great! Is that all you are? Fat? I didn't realize that was a personality trait. "I mean, she was okay, but she was fat, and I just don't get along with fat people. They're just so...fat." It makes sense when I replace "fat" with "rude," but otherwise it just sounds ridiculous. What else is there to you? What about your gorgeous eyes? Or maybe you have beautiful lips? Or both? Or perhaps a nose that is graceful, or maybe small ears. You probably don't have all of those, but which ones DO you have? Maybe you have a fantastic smile. We should walk around commenting on what IS great about us. Just imagine the difference that would make. "I just feel so pretty-smile today!" "My hair really shone in the sunlight today." "The rest of the world may have exploded, but my nose is cute."
Or, better yet, why don't we focus on what really matters, such as the content of our character? And even better than that, the content of other people's character? The people who stick with me the longest are those who have good hearts. Long after we've moved apart, I still think of these individuals. Let me share a few examples:
Amy called Shooter. We lived together my freshman and sophomore years of college. She was nice and kind to everyone, and whenever I felt the need to speak negatively of someone else, she gave me looks that told me I wasn't being very Christlike (or she would just say that verbatim). She always had a nice word for someone and was never disparaging. She just radiated goodness.
Melinda. We lived together my sophomore and junior years of college. In the early days, after I had related a particular story from the previous year, she said, "We're going to be good friends if you have to cry on my shoulder to make it happen." She is really good at making other people laugh. If she catches herself saying something mean about someone, she'll say something nice and then change the subject. If I ever said anything mean, she'd change the subject. She listened to me talk about stupid things that don't matter to anyone but myself, but because they mattered to me and because she loved me, she would listen. Although she struggled with many things, she was always trying to be stronger in the Gospel.
Joran. I love him with all my heart. I often say I want to kick him, which is often true, but my love for him far outweighs the desire to kick, because I've seen him at his best. He helps others with hardly a thought. He'll drop anything and come running to give a blessing. He once sat with me for two hours while I tossed and turned, moaned, groaned, was generally miserable, vomited, and fell asleep, and he never once complained. He is the best home teacher I have ever had.
Cute adorable Nathan. There just aren't words to describe Nathan. To truly understand how good he is, you just have to meet him. Entering his presence is like entering the presence of Good. He used to make cookies for people in the ward who had a birthday, regardless if he knew them or not. He just wanted to celebrate their life because he was genuinely happy they were alive.
These are just four examples. I have so many other friends and family members I could describe. All of them cover the beauty scale from end to end, but it doesn't matter. Their hearts are so beautiful that I can see only beauty in their faces. I wish I could make people understand this. Fat or not, ugly or not, it's irrelevant when compared with what's in your heart. Five or ten pounds overweight or five or ten pounds underweight, it hardly matters if you aren't focused on the correct things.
And really, physical beauty is fleeting. Give it enough years and everybody's chest will be at their drawers anyway. Who will be beautiful then? The ones who have hearts made of gold, that's who.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." ~~Proverbs 31:10