LJ Idol: Week 7 - Brouhaha
She stands in front of the mirror, stares at her reflection. She runs a hand through her hair, tries to fix the way the ends curl inward, no matter how hard she tries to stop it. She smiles, focusing on the way her teeth are slightly crooked. They aren't quite white enough, even though she brushes them obsessively, once in the morning, once in the afternoon after lunch, and once at the end of the day before crawling into bed. Her smile is lopsided, one side of her face crinkling more than other.
Her height begins to bother her. Why is she so short? She gets lost in the crowd sometimes, bumps into people in the halls because they don't see her, constantly gets asked about her height.
She lets out a sigh and continues her survey. Her breasts are too small, not even a B cup, and she can't help wishing that they were slightly bigger. That way maybe she'd be more attractive. But then again... maybe the reason she's not attractive is because she's not the skinniest one in the bunch. Her stomach is not flat, nothing like those pictures she sees in the magazines.
And God, that's just her physical features.
When she thinks about what's inside...
She's greedy and covetous. She sees the new clothes everyone wears into school and she wants them. She wants the money to go out and get them, she wants her license so she's not stuck in her house all the time. She wants everything and more-but she's fine the way she is. She knows that-so why does it feel like a punch to her gut whenever she gets denied the things she wants?
She's envious. During the holidays, all she sees are happy couples, kissing, arms around each other, exchanging gifts, hugging... and she just wants that. For a year and a half, she's been alone, but she knows what a relationship is like. She just wants someone to want her, to feel wanted, but it never happens. While everyone else is off getting together, she's resigned to being the friend that is “really nice and really awesome,” but not girlfriend potential.
She's mean. She's angry. She's awkward in social situations, falling all over herself and being too blunt, maybe, or too shy, depending on whether she's online or in person. She doesn't know what to say. She's a procrastinator. She never knows what she wants: “I don't know” is her catchphrase. She probably makes everyone feel awkward. That's why she doesn't have too many friends; all of these reasons are why she only has one “best” friend.
She sighs. She wishes that she could actually crawl under a rock and never come out when she gets in these moods.
But mostly, she just wishes that someone would tell her-
Bring.
Her phone. She turns away from the mirror and grabs it from the stand next to her, flipping it open to the text message.
It's her best friend.
Listen. It doesn't matter. You're beautiful.
Love you.
She lets a smile stretch across her face. In a second, she feels like her best friend is right, that it was an apt person who said that all you need is one person among the six billion people in the world. That one person can pick you up no matter what. If there's one person she can always count on, it's her best friend. With just eight words, it is like a flip switched in her brain.
Of course she's beautiful.
Of course she is.
Isn't everyone?
(She sends two words back:
Thank you.)
--
This has been my entry for week 7 of therealljidol's seventh season. If you liked, please considering commenting and/or voting for me? Thank you. I appreciate all comments, even though I might not necessarily have the opportunity to respond personally to everyone. Blame my Anatomy teacher for that!
Her height begins to bother her. Why is she so short? She gets lost in the crowd sometimes, bumps into people in the halls because they don't see her, constantly gets asked about her height.
She lets out a sigh and continues her survey. Her breasts are too small, not even a B cup, and she can't help wishing that they were slightly bigger. That way maybe she'd be more attractive. But then again... maybe the reason she's not attractive is because she's not the skinniest one in the bunch. Her stomach is not flat, nothing like those pictures she sees in the magazines.
And God, that's just her physical features.
When she thinks about what's inside...
She's greedy and covetous. She sees the new clothes everyone wears into school and she wants them. She wants the money to go out and get them, she wants her license so she's not stuck in her house all the time. She wants everything and more-but she's fine the way she is. She knows that-so why does it feel like a punch to her gut whenever she gets denied the things she wants?
She's envious. During the holidays, all she sees are happy couples, kissing, arms around each other, exchanging gifts, hugging... and she just wants that. For a year and a half, she's been alone, but she knows what a relationship is like. She just wants someone to want her, to feel wanted, but it never happens. While everyone else is off getting together, she's resigned to being the friend that is “really nice and really awesome,” but not girlfriend potential.
She's mean. She's angry. She's awkward in social situations, falling all over herself and being too blunt, maybe, or too shy, depending on whether she's online or in person. She doesn't know what to say. She's a procrastinator. She never knows what she wants: “I don't know” is her catchphrase. She probably makes everyone feel awkward. That's why she doesn't have too many friends; all of these reasons are why she only has one “best” friend.
She sighs. She wishes that she could actually crawl under a rock and never come out when she gets in these moods.
But mostly, she just wishes that someone would tell her-
Bring.
Her phone. She turns away from the mirror and grabs it from the stand next to her, flipping it open to the text message.
It's her best friend.
Listen. It doesn't matter. You're beautiful.
Love you.
She lets a smile stretch across her face. In a second, she feels like her best friend is right, that it was an apt person who said that all you need is one person among the six billion people in the world. That one person can pick you up no matter what. If there's one person she can always count on, it's her best friend. With just eight words, it is like a flip switched in her brain.
Of course she's beautiful.
Of course she is.
Isn't everyone?
(She sends two words back:
Thank you.)
--
This has been my entry for week 7 of therealljidol's seventh season. If you liked, please considering commenting and/or voting for me? Thank you. I appreciate all comments, even though I might not necessarily have the opportunity to respond personally to everyone. Blame my Anatomy teacher for that!