stretchedwrungpulledtwistedtossedsnatchedslammedstomped
my heart gets the crap kicked out of it everyday i'm away from home. i feel so many things.. sometimes, i feel so overwhelmed by loneliness.. sometimes i'm terribly bitter and cynical.. other times, i feel extremely grateful for all the blessings i have - and i do have many.. sometimes i'm just okay.. other times, i'm hopeful..
but one thing holds true everyday... and it's just that i'm tired. i'm tired of having so many feelings... of going from highs to lows, yo-yo from contentment to misery... it's so exhausting... and everything out here makes me cry. if i see something sad, i cry, if i see something happy, i cry... i didn't used to have shallow tears, but now... anything from a song, to a commercial, to something i read... anything emotionally charged at all has the power to get me going... and it's always the same feeling... like i can't breathe, yet my chest is heaving... and i'm gasping for air, but with each exhale, i feel the urge to sob.
i wish my family was here... i wish migs was here... that's all i need.. even just one of them.. i'd be COMPLETELY fine if just ONE of them were here...
but one thing holds true everyday... and it's just that i'm tired. i'm tired of having so many feelings... of going from highs to lows, yo-yo from contentment to misery... it's so exhausting... and everything out here makes me cry. if i see something sad, i cry, if i see something happy, i cry... i didn't used to have shallow tears, but now... anything from a song, to a commercial, to something i read... anything emotionally charged at all has the power to get me going... and it's always the same feeling... like i can't breathe, yet my chest is heaving... and i'm gasping for air, but with each exhale, i feel the urge to sob.
i wish my family was here... i wish migs was here... that's all i need.. even just one of them.. i'd be COMPLETELY fine if just ONE of them were here...