(no subject)
during the day, while activity occupies my mind... i feel fine. happy as always, embracing the life i have..
but when it gets dark.. and the house gets quiet. there's space. space in my mind... to wander and to drift... once to the bright landscapes of dreams and aspirations.
but lately, i find that the winds of my consciousness tend to blow southward... and when the night comes... i find that the horizons of my heart and mind are overcast...
with each day approaching the date of my departure, i find it more difficult to ward off the pain and sadness that comes with it. and i am no longer to hold back the tears.
at times, i just want to crawl into bed... close my eyes and never wake up...
other times... i feel like i'm plummeting down an abyss and though i open my mouth to scream... no sound escapes my lips.. and i want so badly.. so so badly... to just scream. scream scream scream for days.
but when it gets dark.. and the house gets quiet. there's space. space in my mind... to wander and to drift... once to the bright landscapes of dreams and aspirations.
but lately, i find that the winds of my consciousness tend to blow southward... and when the night comes... i find that the horizons of my heart and mind are overcast...
with each day approaching the date of my departure, i find it more difficult to ward off the pain and sadness that comes with it. and i am no longer to hold back the tears.
at times, i just want to crawl into bed... close my eyes and never wake up...
other times... i feel like i'm plummeting down an abyss and though i open my mouth to scream... no sound escapes my lips.. and i want so badly.. so so badly... to just scream. scream scream scream for days.