I'm in class and I'm bored right now.
Okay, so let's specifically talk about what just happened because I had a physical reaction to it.
So I was walking around the classroom and I was asking some questions, because now I feel much more comfortable with these students. I mean I've just being near them has made me know them a little better. And when I took over when Mrs. Gibson had a sub I really got to try my hand and honestly?? I'm good at this.
Anyway, this morning. Mrs. Gibson asked me to leave this class to her. Or for her to be in control. Which like. Fine. Okay. Fair? I guess? But it's so frustrating!
--
Okay. She came over and explained why. And I'm allowed to help out in second period. I'm calm about it now.
--
Okay but a thing! I think!! I should document/write about is the physical sensation when something like that happens.
It's like a flash of black or red? I feel like it must be me blushing, or an adrenaline spike, or something, because the feeling is definitely scared/anxiety/panic. I feel it in my face, specifically. Like right on my forehead, in my eyebrows and eyes area. Maybe it's my body wanting to cry immediately. I think that must be what it is because now that the panic is gone I kinda wanna cry and I'm not breathing super well.
I had a nice little conversation though about potentially taking over for first period tomorrow? And I just kinda talked out the plan for third period with her, too. Okay dope I'm feeling much better.
It's an emotional rollercoaster, this student teaching.
So I was walking around the classroom and I was asking some questions, because now I feel much more comfortable with these students. I mean I've just being near them has made me know them a little better. And when I took over when Mrs. Gibson had a sub I really got to try my hand and honestly?? I'm good at this.
Anyway, this morning. Mrs. Gibson asked me to leave this class to her. Or for her to be in control. Which like. Fine. Okay. Fair? I guess? But it's so frustrating!
--
Okay. She came over and explained why. And I'm allowed to help out in second period. I'm calm about it now.
--
Okay but a thing! I think!! I should document/write about is the physical sensation when something like that happens.
It's like a flash of black or red? I feel like it must be me blushing, or an adrenaline spike, or something, because the feeling is definitely scared/anxiety/panic. I feel it in my face, specifically. Like right on my forehead, in my eyebrows and eyes area. Maybe it's my body wanting to cry immediately. I think that must be what it is because now that the panic is gone I kinda wanna cry and I'm not breathing super well.
I had a nice little conversation though about potentially taking over for first period tomorrow? And I just kinda talked out the plan for third period with her, too. Okay dope I'm feeling much better.
It's an emotional rollercoaster, this student teaching.