a tale of wedding... problems...
You thought I was going to write about my wedding right? :p Dream on... and AS IF =))
Anyway...
Of all the things that I can talk about on my first blog post for 2011, it had to be about the booboos during my cousin's wedding. I know, bad, right? Picking on my closest cousin's wedding instead of talking about the good points of what transpired that day. But, humor me if, after reading what happened during the day, you would agree with me that what will strike you most about it was everything that went wrong with it!
So, without further ado, here's the rundown of (almost) everything that can go wrong with a wedding. (Mga insan, no offense even if this entry is quite... well... offensive xD but you know what I mean ;p)
1. The gowns
This was pretty much a last-minute wedding so it was such a miracle that the gowns could be finished on time at all. Still, it was quite amusing (if you weren't one of them) to see the entourage grabbing fistfuls of skirt fabric and lifting them out of the way... because the hemlines were so long!
And, unfortunately, I was one of them. Boo!
When I met with the designer, I was asked how high my heels were. Given my height and my cousin's hesitation on who would be my partner (and his height), we decided that 2 inches would be the safe way to go. Gown comes 4 days before the wedding and... the inner skirt/lining was perfect for 2-inch heels! But the outer was for... a 4-5 inch heel. HUH?
At the end of the day, I was one of the only ones with an intact skirt - the others had theirs skewered mercilessly by their stilettos.
And here's another kicker: some of the entourage got their gowns the day before (and another of the gowns had no padding for the boobies!). Given less than a week to the wedding, there was obviously no time to do adjustments...
2. The coordinators
It was relayed to us (think Pass the Message type of game), not by the coordinator, but by my other cousin that we of the entourage apparently had a call time because the coordinators needed to brief us all. The call time was at 1430 at Malate Church. So, off we went to the church and we arrived 15 minutes over the set call time because of the traffic at CCP, Roxas Blvd. and Diosdado Macapagal Blvd.
We got to the church parking lot and saw one of my cousin's friends in their car waiting... but nobody else was in sight! Well, unless you count a couple of white-polo wearing dudes who were obviously part of a security detail. They turned out to be VP Jejomar Binay's advance party (long story but he was one of the principal sponsors).
We got in and, since my sister went ahead of me, the head of the detail asked my sister if she was the coordinator. Upon saying that, no, she was the cousin of the groom and that she was the host of the reception, she inquired as to why. Apparently, they need to talk to the coord because they needed to secure the vicinity and all that. We texted my cousin and he said that the coords were already at the church. We call him up and he told us that the coords had texted him to inform him that they were in the church and that they were wearing white.
Right.
The only ones wearing white were the security detail!
So, ok, we'll wait. Unfortunately, everyone started to come. No coord in sight. Here comes the church coord looking for the wedding coord. No wedding coord so he decided to do the coordination meantime. The groom comes and pretty much had to coordinate everyone while looking for his wedding coordinator! He ended up running around the church, calling up those who needed to be called up. Suffice to say, he was livid.
2.a. The commentator (Cuz, don't kill me... :D)
So the commentator for the wedding was supposed to be my niece but due to some unforeseen circumstance, she couldn't make it to the wedding. Hence, one of our cousins took over the role. Now, no offense cuz but... you were... terrible. After attending quite a number of weddings (your own included..) plus being a more-or-less regular churchgoer, it was expected that you knew how, what and when to answer during a MASS... without a missalette! Not to mention it was projected on the screen...? No excuses there...
And you shouldn't start the ceremony without being given the go signal from the coordinator(s) in the back because 1) the entourage was still not in place and 2) the wedding coordinators still had the bouquet, the veil, the cord, the corsages, etc.! A minute after the false start, the coordinators FINALLY showed up and started pinning (literally. All the guys got pricked by pins in their corsage because the coordinators were panicking!). We finally made it down the aisle... with my cousin, the groom, looking like he just came from the shower due to heavy sweating.
... and the final kicker for the commentator: isn't it the priest's job to say, "I now present to you the newly married couple, ..." ??????? Not yours... Good thing the priest was a quick thinker; he declared a few minutes later to the bride that, "You may now kiss the groom!"
Well, that and the fact that instead of directing the people to go to the back of the church to throw the flowers at the exiting couple, you actually went and left... along with 3/4 of the attendees.
3. The reception and the coordinators (part 2)
We get to the reception at Casa Manila and as the usual goes in modern weddings, you have to queue up for an "attendance" check at the guest list table. My father was one of the ninongs and after he signed up, he waited to be shown where to sit... except that the guy behind the guest list had no clue where to direct my dad so he had to call one of the "roving" people in the reception area... except that this guy also had no clue where the ninongs should sit. Hint: near the couple? Aaaah... there were no seat numbers! Buuut! Who cares right? They still end up in the same place right? The ninongs, I mean...
Then I heard later on a funny bit: when the PARENTS of the married couple came... they were placed at the back along with the guests instead of the presidential table. WT...H?
Anyway, at this time, I was busy because I was in charge of showing a video of the couple that was made by my dear boy. Now, due to some past experiences with equipment, we decided to play it safe: I brought my laptop, burned a copy of the video to a DVD disc and copied the video to a flash drive. Be prepared!
I look around and saw that my sister was already at the audio/visual area. As what has become a norm in the clan, she and her daughter would be singing to the couple. Practice daw hehe. Anyway, she brought a portable CD/DVD player because her portable has the ability to mask out the voice in a song and render it like a minus-one. But, of course, this is just backup in case the A/V didn't have the required equipment.
In this case... it was more than that.
I saw my sister's expression from the other end of the venue and I knew instantly that something was wrong. I come over and discover that the audio equipment was just... a component, speakers and... an IPOD. Good grief. An IPOD. No mixer. No player. Nothing else.
Okay.
My sister tells one of the 2 girls there that her daughter would be singing. "Ay, ma'am! May mic po kami!" Aaaaaand, your point is?
Sis: "She'll be singing a song from this disc."
Girl: "Ay, meron po ata kami niyan dito..."
Sis: "Meron nga siguro pero kaya ninyo bang tanggalin ung boses? Na parang minus-one?"
If they had the proper equipment, the answer would be a yes. Did the coordinator ask beforehand anything regarding this? Nope.
Ok.
Let's connect the player to the component. Do you have an out wire?
Girl looks at us like we spoke pig Latin.
Hooookay.
My sister starts going through their equipment and manages to connect it a few minutes later. Mic, where's the mic? They had 2... but they're not wireless. Ate tests the length... and it reaches, at max cable length, the middle of the reception venue. Just the middle. Aaaaand! Guess what! Only ONE MIC WORKS! Woohoo!
*FACEPALM*
My turn. I need to test the video. Who owns the projector at the side? The girls stare at me, bewildered. So did the young guy who was part of the photography/video group. Ok, so how do I set up? I ended up asking another cousin's husband to help. We finally figure out the projector's owner and we ask the A/V people if they had cables because I did not bring any (geez, the A/V group should provide that at the very least right?). Again, pig Latin with the ladies. My cousin was getting frustrated and he ended up wiring everything up.
Then the guy with the photography/video group informed me that they had a video of the prenup and that they were showing it as well. Perfect! May I transfer my video to their laptop and play from there? Yes daw.
Soooo... Off he goes to find a flash drive.
A few minutes later, he comes back with a flash drive except...
Can they use my laptop daw? And do I have Windows Movie Maker?
Come again?
The video did not render; it cut off halfway and they needed to still render it. Also, their laptop was a Mac... and it is not compatible with the projector.
Dude. You're part of a video/photog group doing this PROFESSIONALLY. You get paid for your services. You own a freaking Apple laptop. You live in a country where 95% of peripherals are Windows-compatible. You, again, own a freaking Apple laptop. It is COMMON KNOWLEDGE to bring something called an... ADAPTER?
You're lucky someone was at home resting instead of attending because he is an Apple user and he will not be shy to chew you out for that.
So, ok, I panic because my sister was about to start the program and I remembered that my laptop was in Japanese mode. Dammit! I have to switch it to English! And since I was using a 3rd party program to translate my OS, it takes a while to restart!
It finally does and... the guy does his thing. Then... the rendering stops. Uh-oh. Oh, wait! We can play it as a preview instead! And, better yet, it's going to play full-screen! Woohoo! Problem solved!
My thing was - this was a PRENUP video. How come you're rendering it only TODAAAAAAY? Even if it was taken the day before, you should have finished it... yesterday?
*FACEPALM #2*
Ok. The reception goes as planned (more or less). I show my video then get the applause. Then the prenup video. So far, so good! Then... it stops midway.
WHAAAAAAT?!
Turns out the audio disappeared from the timeline! The guy had to fix the video/audio again! And he does just that 10 minutes later. Whew.
Job done... right? I put my laptop to hibernate and...
"Ma'am, pwede po pakabit ng Ipod sa laptop ninyo?"
"Why?"
"Low batt na po... e sa laptop lang po pwedeng ikabit..."
Um, you did see me put it in hibernate already right? Except that the Ipod was dying. Oooookay. I try to stop the hibernate sequence... which predictably resulted in... a system hang.
Hay.
Restart.
Boot.
Wait.
Login...
Connect and... the Ipod lives again! (Go Sony S-Series... 10+ hours of pure and entertaining batt life... Probably the more recent Ipods are up to speed but... seriously????) I leave my laptop again. I noticed that the photographer was kinda looking at everyone else's camera... Even to my eye... Kuya had a better unit (and lens!) than the photographer's... then again, what do I know? (Though other people told me the same thing later...)
Fast forward. My dad stood up. So did mama. Uh-oh, we were leaving soon and the reception program was pretty much over. Crap, needed to get my laptop if I didn't want to get left behind. So I went to the A/V area and told the girls I needed to get my laptop. They look at me with expressions that plainly said, oh-please-don't-because-the-ipod-will-die-again and you-gotta-be-serious!
Erm, yes, I am.
I'm leaving and so was the laptop unless you want me to send my dad over... and you wouldn't want that. Trust me.
So they reluctantly said yes (hey, isn't it supposed to be me pushing the buttons? It's MY laptop? Right?).
Glad the day was over.
Later on, my sister told me that in the church, she was feeling for our cousin so she said that, "Hay, kawawa naman itong groom. Naging coordinator..."
Then she noticed the gay guy beside her (no offense to gay people; it just so happened that the person in question was gay) looked at her badly and did a once-over. Taray niya noh?
At first, my sister didn't know why... until she saw him fussing with the bride's veil. Ay, it was the coordinator. Ay ulit! Hindi pala. Reliever pala un ng coordinator. Pero bakit siya pa ang may ganang magalit? E totoo naman na ang groom ang naging coordinator at ginawa ang trabaho nila para sa kanila!
Ano ang nangyari sa coordinator?
So, we learn again later the whole story.
The coordinator's child came down with dengue and was rushed to the hospital. Now, the coordinator couldn't make it to the wedding so she sent a reliever and the delivery staff. The reliever was the gay guy I mentioned.
Now, before the wedding, my cousin was with the coordinators and pointed out the church to them; Malate Church could be seen from Roxas Blvd. Kasi, he left his car at the reception area and took a taxi back to the church.
Well, the coordinator and the staff should know where the church was, right? Because it was pointed out to them?
Apparently NOT.
You know why they were late?
Because they went to San Agustin Church. Near Malate Church but... still... the wrong church. And given that San Agustin is a famous church, you shouldn't make a mistake! Now, there was a 1600 wedding there... my cousin's was at 1530. Still, you're a coordinator; you should know how to inquire FIRST right?
Anyway.
Tonight, I just learned from Ate that the coordinator was still demanding full payment for the services rendered. Define "services" please? My cousin ended up not paying for the A/V in full (or so I heard) and he was also withholding payment to the coordinator. Rightfully so! They didn't do anything at the church except at the very end. And they were threatening action if my cousin didn't pay the full amount (he was only offering a certain amount kasi instead of the full amount. It's a very small amount but, honestly, if I were the coordinator, I would refund the client fully for the disastrous coordination!). Good thing he fought back. The whole clan (present) was witness to their blunders and they were criticized repeatedly the whole day because it seemed like the staff were waiting for the wedding to happen instead of helping make the wedding happen.
Honestly, if I get married, I will NOT HIRE THEM. Nor will I recommend them to anyone I know (if you're interested to know the name of these coordinators, let me know.)
Hay.
Good thing is, we got through the day. And thank God that even with all these difficulties, we somehow made it through.
Anyway...
Of all the things that I can talk about on my first blog post for 2011, it had to be about the booboos during my cousin's wedding. I know, bad, right? Picking on my closest cousin's wedding instead of talking about the good points of what transpired that day. But, humor me if, after reading what happened during the day, you would agree with me that what will strike you most about it was everything that went wrong with it!
So, without further ado, here's the rundown of (almost) everything that can go wrong with a wedding. (Mga insan, no offense even if this entry is quite... well... offensive xD but you know what I mean ;p)
1. The gowns
This was pretty much a last-minute wedding so it was such a miracle that the gowns could be finished on time at all. Still, it was quite amusing (if you weren't one of them) to see the entourage grabbing fistfuls of skirt fabric and lifting them out of the way... because the hemlines were so long!
And, unfortunately, I was one of them. Boo!
When I met with the designer, I was asked how high my heels were. Given my height and my cousin's hesitation on who would be my partner (and his height), we decided that 2 inches would be the safe way to go. Gown comes 4 days before the wedding and... the inner skirt/lining was perfect for 2-inch heels! But the outer was for... a 4-5 inch heel. HUH?
At the end of the day, I was one of the only ones with an intact skirt - the others had theirs skewered mercilessly by their stilettos.
And here's another kicker: some of the entourage got their gowns the day before (and another of the gowns had no padding for the boobies!). Given less than a week to the wedding, there was obviously no time to do adjustments...
2. The coordinators
It was relayed to us (think Pass the Message type of game), not by the coordinator, but by my other cousin that we of the entourage apparently had a call time because the coordinators needed to brief us all. The call time was at 1430 at Malate Church. So, off we went to the church and we arrived 15 minutes over the set call time because of the traffic at CCP, Roxas Blvd. and Diosdado Macapagal Blvd.
We got to the church parking lot and saw one of my cousin's friends in their car waiting... but nobody else was in sight! Well, unless you count a couple of white-polo wearing dudes who were obviously part of a security detail. They turned out to be VP Jejomar Binay's advance party (long story but he was one of the principal sponsors).
We got in and, since my sister went ahead of me, the head of the detail asked my sister if she was the coordinator. Upon saying that, no, she was the cousin of the groom and that she was the host of the reception, she inquired as to why. Apparently, they need to talk to the coord because they needed to secure the vicinity and all that. We texted my cousin and he said that the coords were already at the church. We call him up and he told us that the coords had texted him to inform him that they were in the church and that they were wearing white.
Right.
The only ones wearing white were the security detail!
So, ok, we'll wait. Unfortunately, everyone started to come. No coord in sight. Here comes the church coord looking for the wedding coord. No wedding coord so he decided to do the coordination meantime. The groom comes and pretty much had to coordinate everyone while looking for his wedding coordinator! He ended up running around the church, calling up those who needed to be called up. Suffice to say, he was livid.
2.a. The commentator (Cuz, don't kill me... :D)
So the commentator for the wedding was supposed to be my niece but due to some unforeseen circumstance, she couldn't make it to the wedding. Hence, one of our cousins took over the role. Now, no offense cuz but... you were... terrible. After attending quite a number of weddings (your own included..) plus being a more-or-less regular churchgoer, it was expected that you knew how, what and when to answer during a MASS... without a missalette! Not to mention it was projected on the screen...? No excuses there...
And you shouldn't start the ceremony without being given the go signal from the coordinator(s) in the back because 1) the entourage was still not in place and 2) the wedding coordinators still had the bouquet, the veil, the cord, the corsages, etc.! A minute after the false start, the coordinators FINALLY showed up and started pinning (literally. All the guys got pricked by pins in their corsage because the coordinators were panicking!). We finally made it down the aisle... with my cousin, the groom, looking like he just came from the shower due to heavy sweating.
... and the final kicker for the commentator: isn't it the priest's job to say, "I now present to you the newly married couple, ..." ??????? Not yours... Good thing the priest was a quick thinker; he declared a few minutes later to the bride that, "You may now kiss the groom!"
Well, that and the fact that instead of directing the people to go to the back of the church to throw the flowers at the exiting couple, you actually went and left... along with 3/4 of the attendees.
3. The reception and the coordinators (part 2)
We get to the reception at Casa Manila and as the usual goes in modern weddings, you have to queue up for an "attendance" check at the guest list table. My father was one of the ninongs and after he signed up, he waited to be shown where to sit... except that the guy behind the guest list had no clue where to direct my dad so he had to call one of the "roving" people in the reception area... except that this guy also had no clue where the ninongs should sit. Hint: near the couple? Aaaah... there were no seat numbers! Buuut! Who cares right? They still end up in the same place right? The ninongs, I mean...
Then I heard later on a funny bit: when the PARENTS of the married couple came... they were placed at the back along with the guests instead of the presidential table. WT...H?
Anyway, at this time, I was busy because I was in charge of showing a video of the couple that was made by my dear boy. Now, due to some past experiences with equipment, we decided to play it safe: I brought my laptop, burned a copy of the video to a DVD disc and copied the video to a flash drive. Be prepared!
I look around and saw that my sister was already at the audio/visual area. As what has become a norm in the clan, she and her daughter would be singing to the couple. Practice daw hehe. Anyway, she brought a portable CD/DVD player because her portable has the ability to mask out the voice in a song and render it like a minus-one. But, of course, this is just backup in case the A/V didn't have the required equipment.
In this case... it was more than that.
I saw my sister's expression from the other end of the venue and I knew instantly that something was wrong. I come over and discover that the audio equipment was just... a component, speakers and... an IPOD. Good grief. An IPOD. No mixer. No player. Nothing else.
Okay.
My sister tells one of the 2 girls there that her daughter would be singing. "Ay, ma'am! May mic po kami!" Aaaaaand, your point is?
Sis: "She'll be singing a song from this disc."
Girl: "Ay, meron po ata kami niyan dito..."
Sis: "Meron nga siguro pero kaya ninyo bang tanggalin ung boses? Na parang minus-one?"
If they had the proper equipment, the answer would be a yes. Did the coordinator ask beforehand anything regarding this? Nope.
Ok.
Let's connect the player to the component. Do you have an out wire?
Girl looks at us like we spoke pig Latin.
Hooookay.
My sister starts going through their equipment and manages to connect it a few minutes later. Mic, where's the mic? They had 2... but they're not wireless. Ate tests the length... and it reaches, at max cable length, the middle of the reception venue. Just the middle. Aaaaand! Guess what! Only ONE MIC WORKS! Woohoo!
*FACEPALM*
My turn. I need to test the video. Who owns the projector at the side? The girls stare at me, bewildered. So did the young guy who was part of the photography/video group. Ok, so how do I set up? I ended up asking another cousin's husband to help. We finally figure out the projector's owner and we ask the A/V people if they had cables because I did not bring any (geez, the A/V group should provide that at the very least right?). Again, pig Latin with the ladies. My cousin was getting frustrated and he ended up wiring everything up.
Then the guy with the photography/video group informed me that they had a video of the prenup and that they were showing it as well. Perfect! May I transfer my video to their laptop and play from there? Yes daw.
Soooo... Off he goes to find a flash drive.
A few minutes later, he comes back with a flash drive except...
Can they use my laptop daw? And do I have Windows Movie Maker?
Come again?
The video did not render; it cut off halfway and they needed to still render it. Also, their laptop was a Mac... and it is not compatible with the projector.
Dude. You're part of a video/photog group doing this PROFESSIONALLY. You get paid for your services. You own a freaking Apple laptop. You live in a country where 95% of peripherals are Windows-compatible. You, again, own a freaking Apple laptop. It is COMMON KNOWLEDGE to bring something called an... ADAPTER?
You're lucky someone was at home resting instead of attending because he is an Apple user and he will not be shy to chew you out for that.
So, ok, I panic because my sister was about to start the program and I remembered that my laptop was in Japanese mode. Dammit! I have to switch it to English! And since I was using a 3rd party program to translate my OS, it takes a while to restart!
It finally does and... the guy does his thing. Then... the rendering stops. Uh-oh. Oh, wait! We can play it as a preview instead! And, better yet, it's going to play full-screen! Woohoo! Problem solved!
My thing was - this was a PRENUP video. How come you're rendering it only TODAAAAAAY? Even if it was taken the day before, you should have finished it... yesterday?
*FACEPALM #2*
Ok. The reception goes as planned (more or less). I show my video then get the applause. Then the prenup video. So far, so good! Then... it stops midway.
WHAAAAAAT?!
Turns out the audio disappeared from the timeline! The guy had to fix the video/audio again! And he does just that 10 minutes later. Whew.
Job done... right? I put my laptop to hibernate and...
"Ma'am, pwede po pakabit ng Ipod sa laptop ninyo?"
"Why?"
"Low batt na po... e sa laptop lang po pwedeng ikabit..."
Um, you did see me put it in hibernate already right? Except that the Ipod was dying. Oooookay. I try to stop the hibernate sequence... which predictably resulted in... a system hang.
Hay.
Restart.
Boot.
Wait.
Login...
Connect and... the Ipod lives again! (Go Sony S-Series... 10+ hours of pure and entertaining batt life... Probably the more recent Ipods are up to speed but... seriously????) I leave my laptop again. I noticed that the photographer was kinda looking at everyone else's camera... Even to my eye... Kuya had a better unit (and lens!) than the photographer's... then again, what do I know? (Though other people told me the same thing later...)
Fast forward. My dad stood up. So did mama. Uh-oh, we were leaving soon and the reception program was pretty much over. Crap, needed to get my laptop if I didn't want to get left behind. So I went to the A/V area and told the girls I needed to get my laptop. They look at me with expressions that plainly said, oh-please-don't-because-the-ipod-will-die-again and you-gotta-be-serious!
Erm, yes, I am.
I'm leaving and so was the laptop unless you want me to send my dad over... and you wouldn't want that. Trust me.
So they reluctantly said yes (hey, isn't it supposed to be me pushing the buttons? It's MY laptop? Right?).
Glad the day was over.
Later on, my sister told me that in the church, she was feeling for our cousin so she said that, "Hay, kawawa naman itong groom. Naging coordinator..."
Then she noticed the gay guy beside her (no offense to gay people; it just so happened that the person in question was gay) looked at her badly and did a once-over. Taray niya noh?
At first, my sister didn't know why... until she saw him fussing with the bride's veil. Ay, it was the coordinator. Ay ulit! Hindi pala. Reliever pala un ng coordinator. Pero bakit siya pa ang may ganang magalit? E totoo naman na ang groom ang naging coordinator at ginawa ang trabaho nila para sa kanila!
Ano ang nangyari sa coordinator?
So, we learn again later the whole story.
The coordinator's child came down with dengue and was rushed to the hospital. Now, the coordinator couldn't make it to the wedding so she sent a reliever and the delivery staff. The reliever was the gay guy I mentioned.
Now, before the wedding, my cousin was with the coordinators and pointed out the church to them; Malate Church could be seen from Roxas Blvd. Kasi, he left his car at the reception area and took a taxi back to the church.
Well, the coordinator and the staff should know where the church was, right? Because it was pointed out to them?
Apparently NOT.
You know why they were late?
Because they went to San Agustin Church. Near Malate Church but... still... the wrong church. And given that San Agustin is a famous church, you shouldn't make a mistake! Now, there was a 1600 wedding there... my cousin's was at 1530. Still, you're a coordinator; you should know how to inquire FIRST right?
Anyway.
Tonight, I just learned from Ate that the coordinator was still demanding full payment for the services rendered. Define "services" please? My cousin ended up not paying for the A/V in full (or so I heard) and he was also withholding payment to the coordinator. Rightfully so! They didn't do anything at the church except at the very end. And they were threatening action if my cousin didn't pay the full amount (he was only offering a certain amount kasi instead of the full amount. It's a very small amount but, honestly, if I were the coordinator, I would refund the client fully for the disastrous coordination!). Good thing he fought back. The whole clan (present) was witness to their blunders and they were criticized repeatedly the whole day because it seemed like the staff were waiting for the wedding to happen instead of helping make the wedding happen.
Honestly, if I get married, I will NOT HIRE THEM. Nor will I recommend them to anyone I know (if you're interested to know the name of these coordinators, let me know.)
Hay.
Good thing is, we got through the day. And thank God that even with all these difficulties, we somehow made it through.