[Kill My Family.]
Finally, I'm back home.
Finally.
Right after Mark and I got back from Rochester, I boarded a plane for California. We decided to just expedite the process and make it quicker than what it was. If I would have waited any longer, the window of visit time would've had to have been extended a bit. And I'm definitely not up for extending the visit time with them. Especially not now.
Outside of my dad's girlfriend, my grandma, aunt, and my sisters, no one else knows about Mark and I. Dad and I argue about whether or not I should stretch outside of that and tell them, and to me, I didn't think they should know. They pry too much into my personal life, and they get to the point where I'm ready to punch the living daylights out of all of them, essentially. When it came down to it, he didn't force me to say anything about it. But somehow, it got to the rest of them, and believe me.... it came up, heavily. I think my other grandmother (dad's mom, the one I hate.) was involved in this somehow....
My grandma and I were cooking dinner when my cousin stopped by. Kinda unusual, considering she never comes by my grandma's house. What ensued was an entire tirade of questions, badgering statements, and above all else, lots of "fag" and "gayfer" and all other kinda of crazy shit.
I walked out a couple of times, and she followed. My grandma hears us, and proceeds to kick my cousin out of the house.
Without my dad there, it was really hard to defend myself.
The next day I was slated to go, with my aunt somewhere. We ended up stopping by my other aunt's house. I opted to stay in the car, but they came outside, saw me.....
And drama started up like crazy.
It was me and my aunt versus my two cousins and my other aunt. I took refuge in the house, where I encountered my grandmother. I'll spare you the details, but the gist of it was the neighbors hearing our argument outside. I basically told her to fuck out of my life, and if she ever wanted to see me again, she'd better re-thinking her talking strategy.
"Why would I want to see you again after tonight?"
I came OH so close to slapping her with the shoes she was sitting next to. But, I did chuck a glass in her direction when she whispered "faggot" as I walked out of the room.
I heard her scream. But the glass hit the wall next to her.
That's what happens when I get mad.
I walked outside, screamed high-pitched, which caught everyone's attention. And then started my anger-filled speech:
"I want you to understand me when I say this. For the first time in my life, I'm happy. The happiest person I've been in a long time exists right in front of you. No matter what you say or do, it's not going to change that. Ever. The only people who I actually care about me dating Mark and being gay.... totally love me back still. Do they understand it? Maybe not. But are they arguing with me, calling me all sorts of names? NO... they love me, hug me, and tell me to go do my thing and be the happy person I'm suppose to be.
"No matter what the case may be, the more yelling you do, the more you push me away, and the less likely I want to turn to you and call you my family. Because, guess what? This is me. I'm dating the best guy I've ever come across, and every day I'm with him is a blast. I can't expect you to understand that. Love's a powerful thing, but you're stretching our family love to the point where I'm ready to sever it just so that you'll leave me alone. But that's OK, because once I leave here tonight, you'll never see me again. I have no intent on coming back here ever. And if I do, it's against my will. If you loved me, you'd let me live my life, and you wouldn't sit here and cough down my throat everything you see and feel. You're family, and there's still some family love. But right now, I'm just... done...."
I walk to my aunt's car, she looks at me, hugs me in the car, and we leave for my grandma's house.
They won't be at the Christmas or New Years party at the end of the year.
Dad calls me an hour later, after what, I believe, was him cussing out people at my grandmother's house, then some crying. He said he was sorry he subjected me to that, that I didn't deserve it, and for once, he felt that I handled myself -- minus the glass throwing -- much better than he would have if it would have been him. We talked for a little while, with him repeating the same thing over and over: "I still and will always love you." Maybe not that same exact wording, but the meaning was put in many other wordings.
The rest of my vacation was spent with my cousins, other aunt, and my grandmother making several attempts to contact me. Several voicemails went deleted and many text messages were blocked. I've got their numbers blocked from my phone, so no worries about phone calls for the time being. I know they're going to talk to Dad and get him to talk to me, and convince me to reverse. But, he's already told me that he'll simply tell me what they're telling him. But in no way is he going to make me do anything.
I did go shopping with my dad's girlfriend. We got a LOT of stuff. I got 2 pairs of shoes and 3 hats. I love her, she's like a stepmother to me. She doesn't try to make me like her, and she's full-on in my court and supports me. And I appreciate it greatly. We're already making plans for Christmas, and she wants to meet Mark, give her "stamp of approval"... [lol]
My aunt and I (the one in my corner) went and saw the new Indiana Jones movie. Loved it! I know I told Mark I'd go with him, but it was an impromptu thing. (He understood) We chatted about a lot of things, discussed life, and made me forget about everything that had happened. And we saw a pretty kick-ass movie!
I knew going on this vacation would determine my family standing... whether they were with me or against me. Other than not explaining it to my youngest nephews is priority, I've seen all that I expected. The close immediate family got the gist and loves me. Understanding was irrelevent, but they love me and will support my live as much as they can.
I got some clothes that I've wanted forever.
And, to top it all off, I got to see my grandma after she had her stroke. And I call tell you this, seeing her made me realize that life's important, you shouldn't take it for granted, and live you forever.
But I'm glad to be away from the drama, and out of that hell-hole.
And with Mark, no less. Need I add he's sitting over my shoulder watching me type? [lol]
I got home 4 days ago. I was in the process of heading back to my apartment in Statesboro after the carpets were cleaned. Mark came with me to keep me company. Dad's on leave for a while... something related to his new job.
Forgot to mention that he had a new job, but oh well.
Anyway, I came back up here to move stuff back to its normal place. We had to clear the living room, minus the furniture in there when we moved in, and move all stuff off the floors and into the closets, except for the desks and the bed. They put my desk back down on the other side of the room by the other window, but it looks out into the parking lot now. I don't mind.... better than the view I had. But, no one's gonna be back in the apartment, minus me, until August. So Mark's gonna spend time up here with me to keep me company. And, I won't have to worry about not having the alone time with him that I've wanted... because I got it now. = D We're going back home in about a week or so.
That's an update. Wow... just realized that it's one of my longer updates. But, I feel you should be updated more anyway. [lol]
I'm off to bed. Water Park tomorrow.
Later, guys.
[CaliforniaKid07]
Finally.
Right after Mark and I got back from Rochester, I boarded a plane for California. We decided to just expedite the process and make it quicker than what it was. If I would have waited any longer, the window of visit time would've had to have been extended a bit. And I'm definitely not up for extending the visit time with them. Especially not now.
Outside of my dad's girlfriend, my grandma, aunt, and my sisters, no one else knows about Mark and I. Dad and I argue about whether or not I should stretch outside of that and tell them, and to me, I didn't think they should know. They pry too much into my personal life, and they get to the point where I'm ready to punch the living daylights out of all of them, essentially. When it came down to it, he didn't force me to say anything about it. But somehow, it got to the rest of them, and believe me.... it came up, heavily. I think my other grandmother (dad's mom, the one I hate.) was involved in this somehow....
My grandma and I were cooking dinner when my cousin stopped by. Kinda unusual, considering she never comes by my grandma's house. What ensued was an entire tirade of questions, badgering statements, and above all else, lots of "fag" and "gayfer" and all other kinda of crazy shit.
I walked out a couple of times, and she followed. My grandma hears us, and proceeds to kick my cousin out of the house.
Without my dad there, it was really hard to defend myself.
The next day I was slated to go, with my aunt somewhere. We ended up stopping by my other aunt's house. I opted to stay in the car, but they came outside, saw me.....
And drama started up like crazy.
It was me and my aunt versus my two cousins and my other aunt. I took refuge in the house, where I encountered my grandmother. I'll spare you the details, but the gist of it was the neighbors hearing our argument outside. I basically told her to fuck out of my life, and if she ever wanted to see me again, she'd better re-thinking her talking strategy.
"Why would I want to see you again after tonight?"
I came OH so close to slapping her with the shoes she was sitting next to. But, I did chuck a glass in her direction when she whispered "faggot" as I walked out of the room.
I heard her scream. But the glass hit the wall next to her.
That's what happens when I get mad.
I walked outside, screamed high-pitched, which caught everyone's attention. And then started my anger-filled speech:
"I want you to understand me when I say this. For the first time in my life, I'm happy. The happiest person I've been in a long time exists right in front of you. No matter what you say or do, it's not going to change that. Ever. The only people who I actually care about me dating Mark and being gay.... totally love me back still. Do they understand it? Maybe not. But are they arguing with me, calling me all sorts of names? NO... they love me, hug me, and tell me to go do my thing and be the happy person I'm suppose to be.
"No matter what the case may be, the more yelling you do, the more you push me away, and the less likely I want to turn to you and call you my family. Because, guess what? This is me. I'm dating the best guy I've ever come across, and every day I'm with him is a blast. I can't expect you to understand that. Love's a powerful thing, but you're stretching our family love to the point where I'm ready to sever it just so that you'll leave me alone. But that's OK, because once I leave here tonight, you'll never see me again. I have no intent on coming back here ever. And if I do, it's against my will. If you loved me, you'd let me live my life, and you wouldn't sit here and cough down my throat everything you see and feel. You're family, and there's still some family love. But right now, I'm just... done...."
I walk to my aunt's car, she looks at me, hugs me in the car, and we leave for my grandma's house.
They won't be at the Christmas or New Years party at the end of the year.
Dad calls me an hour later, after what, I believe, was him cussing out people at my grandmother's house, then some crying. He said he was sorry he subjected me to that, that I didn't deserve it, and for once, he felt that I handled myself -- minus the glass throwing -- much better than he would have if it would have been him. We talked for a little while, with him repeating the same thing over and over: "I still and will always love you." Maybe not that same exact wording, but the meaning was put in many other wordings.
The rest of my vacation was spent with my cousins, other aunt, and my grandmother making several attempts to contact me. Several voicemails went deleted and many text messages were blocked. I've got their numbers blocked from my phone, so no worries about phone calls for the time being. I know they're going to talk to Dad and get him to talk to me, and convince me to reverse. But, he's already told me that he'll simply tell me what they're telling him. But in no way is he going to make me do anything.
I did go shopping with my dad's girlfriend. We got a LOT of stuff. I got 2 pairs of shoes and 3 hats. I love her, she's like a stepmother to me. She doesn't try to make me like her, and she's full-on in my court and supports me. And I appreciate it greatly. We're already making plans for Christmas, and she wants to meet Mark, give her "stamp of approval"... [lol]
My aunt and I (the one in my corner) went and saw the new Indiana Jones movie. Loved it! I know I told Mark I'd go with him, but it was an impromptu thing. (He understood) We chatted about a lot of things, discussed life, and made me forget about everything that had happened. And we saw a pretty kick-ass movie!
I knew going on this vacation would determine my family standing... whether they were with me or against me. Other than not explaining it to my youngest nephews is priority, I've seen all that I expected. The close immediate family got the gist and loves me. Understanding was irrelevent, but they love me and will support my live as much as they can.
I got some clothes that I've wanted forever.
And, to top it all off, I got to see my grandma after she had her stroke. And I call tell you this, seeing her made me realize that life's important, you shouldn't take it for granted, and live you forever.
But I'm glad to be away from the drama, and out of that hell-hole.
And with Mark, no less. Need I add he's sitting over my shoulder watching me type? [lol]
I got home 4 days ago. I was in the process of heading back to my apartment in Statesboro after the carpets were cleaned. Mark came with me to keep me company. Dad's on leave for a while... something related to his new job.
Forgot to mention that he had a new job, but oh well.
Anyway, I came back up here to move stuff back to its normal place. We had to clear the living room, minus the furniture in there when we moved in, and move all stuff off the floors and into the closets, except for the desks and the bed. They put my desk back down on the other side of the room by the other window, but it looks out into the parking lot now. I don't mind.... better than the view I had. But, no one's gonna be back in the apartment, minus me, until August. So Mark's gonna spend time up here with me to keep me company. And, I won't have to worry about not having the alone time with him that I've wanted... because I got it now. = D We're going back home in about a week or so.
That's an update. Wow... just realized that it's one of my longer updates. But, I feel you should be updated more anyway. [lol]
I'm off to bed. Water Park tomorrow.
Later, guys.
[CaliforniaKid07]