I always say I'm just going to write a few sentences...
I dunno where this entry is going- however, let me say that overall 2006 treated me very. very. nicely.
Being off work since Dec. 23rd has been nice- I don't want to go back tomorrow and face the kids. I didn't do squat for school over the break.
Going home to MI for a week was great. Too short and all of my family members have serious (read: SERIOUS!) issues, but it's still nice to see them. I wish I could help some of them "find their way" but alas, I dunno how.
I spent a decent amount of time with my dad, which for those who know me... know it's a big deal. I stayed the night there TWICE! Weird. He finally gave me some $ he owes me. Not all- but some.
Mel and AMy's babies ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!! Amy's baby has skin that I'd kill for. I was so happy to see them. However, the fact that all of my friends from high school are getting married and having kids really puts things into perspective. My biological clock is def. ticking.
I think my sister's husband is gay, which makes it weird. I would never say anything. They're cute. He's a recovering drunk, but they're cute. He stuck like 5 empty beer cans on the floor in the "sacred room" and she came over yelling and told him if he did it again she was going to spank his ass... he did it again! :) It was so cute. hah~
I'm still a little ill/tired from New Year's last night and it's 3:30pm. weird. I didn't kiss anyone at midnight- unless you count Mike's cheek. I DID CALL MY MOMMY THOUGH. I left the big gay party and went to the hall to call. She was waiting up for my call. She said I had until 12:10. It was 12:03. I love that woman more than I can say. She misses me more than even I know. It's a two-way street.
The whole relationship with Matt is weird. We didn't even spend last night together. He wanted to and... well- initially I didn't. I'm starting to think I'm either not the relationship type- or I'm just far too picky and no one will ever measure up. ANyway, he went out with a shit ton of friends (read: young, gay, horny, home-wrecking friends from DC and Florida.) I was fine until I got drunk and realized I was too chicken to talk to anyone else (cuz it's wrong) and too drunkenly co-dependent to not want his company in the sack. I called him like 3-4 times and rang his door buzzer. He never came/buzzed/picked up. It's such a weird situation. I know I'm not totally into him, yet I don't quite have the ability to tell him "I don't want to see you." Cuz I do like him. some. I dunno.
It's so weird. I'm literally sitting on AIM and talking to 3 guys who are very. VERY. interested in me and total catches. I'm also dating someone who is very interested in me. And a total catch! Matt's an ER doctor ladies and gentlemen. A cute and young ER doctor. Yet... All I can think about is all the things that none of them have that I want.
I had a "heart-to-heart" with Kristy last night. (As much as her and I can have when it doesn't concern her) and she basically told me that I'm slightly crazy. THe long and the short was "you're smart, a 22-year old teacher who is very attractive and you're too young to worry so much about some image of perfection... WHAT YOU WANT WILL CHANGE BY THE TIME YOU'RE REALLY READY TO SETTLE DOWN! Just have fun and don't think so much."
I'm sure this isn't exactly what she said- but you get the idea. However, it's hard to take advice coming from her. She's a 31-year old bombshell who is married to (yet separated from) someone who is no good for her. She still remains tightly-bound to the idea that they will be together some day- and, as a result, all this time right now is just a fun "doesn't count" game. She's dating her principal (she's a middle school teacher.) She's also pseudo-dating this other guy. They both play her for a fool. Somehow she simultaneously gets off on it and hurt by it. So, needless to say- she's probably not the best to heed dating advice from.
Things I wish were different:
*my mom was super, duper happy, healthy and lived closer to me.
* I had more money, a bigger place and a sick amount of pure bliss.
*My step dad and step sister (opposite sides) weren't so deathly ill.
*Clemmie wasn't so deathly ill.
*many of my students weren't so poor, homeless, parent-less, depressed, angry, apathetic to their lives and bound to be victims of the viscous cyclical world that they are so involuntarily subscribed to.
*My niece wasn't so depressed, angry and suicidal. (She's 16 and within the last month she's: cut up her arms, taken pills from a random guy and slept with a 27-year old.) It all comes back to one huge thing she's lacking. GENUINE LOVE FROM SOMEONE. As a result, she looks for it in these other places. As they say- negative attention is better than no attention. Her parents (my sibling and his wife) are the primary culprits. Damn them to hell- if I could only tell them what I think about what they're doing to her. :(
*That Jeremy and Josh (two of my 10 siblings) could get their shit together. THeir kids will repeat their mistakes if they don't. Jeremy just married his girl (yet cheats on her cuz he doesn't like her) and Josh is about to propose to his (and doesn't like her.) They both grew up in broken homes and don't want their kids to go through what they did. They however don't realize that two unhappy parents together is certainly a far-fetched cry from ideal. Blah. Jeremy is racist, sexist and a total redneck. He used "nigger" twice on the phone with me before I told him if he does it again I have to hang up. He said "his woman is lazy and doesn't know her role... If my old lady don't (not doesn't) start doing what I tell her- she's done!" It's sick.
* My dad wasn't such an ass. We stayed up til 3am Christmas Eve arguing about politics, the war, our country and Bush. It's so weird how a man and his spawn could be as polar opposite as we are. His love is deep (yet shallow); his judgment is shallow (yet deep.) It makes it hard.
* I knew what I wanted and then when I got it I was happy. I have this deep and insatiable need to get/be/do all that I seemingly can't.
* I could take the 4 guys who really like me right now and put them all together to create a super-homo. Yes, I know. You're right. So, what do you want me to do about it? Exactly!
*I DIDN'T HAVE TO WAKE AT 6AM TO REPORT TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! and Christina's still visiting so I dunno how I'm gonna get to bed early with her in such a small space with me. Arghity.
*Michigan was going to the National Championship and not to the Rose Bowl in an hour! hah. :)
Ok. All this negativity is sucking the life out of me... IT'S THE NEW YEAR AND I WISH YOU AND YOURS A GREAT ONE... MUAH TIMES 1092382384349539453!!!
Being off work since Dec. 23rd has been nice- I don't want to go back tomorrow and face the kids. I didn't do squat for school over the break.
Going home to MI for a week was great. Too short and all of my family members have serious (read: SERIOUS!) issues, but it's still nice to see them. I wish I could help some of them "find their way" but alas, I dunno how.
I spent a decent amount of time with my dad, which for those who know me... know it's a big deal. I stayed the night there TWICE! Weird. He finally gave me some $ he owes me. Not all- but some.
Mel and AMy's babies ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!! Amy's baby has skin that I'd kill for. I was so happy to see them. However, the fact that all of my friends from high school are getting married and having kids really puts things into perspective. My biological clock is def. ticking.
I think my sister's husband is gay, which makes it weird. I would never say anything. They're cute. He's a recovering drunk, but they're cute. He stuck like 5 empty beer cans on the floor in the "sacred room" and she came over yelling and told him if he did it again she was going to spank his ass... he did it again! :) It was so cute. hah~
I'm still a little ill/tired from New Year's last night and it's 3:30pm. weird. I didn't kiss anyone at midnight- unless you count Mike's cheek. I DID CALL MY MOMMY THOUGH. I left the big gay party and went to the hall to call. She was waiting up for my call. She said I had until 12:10. It was 12:03. I love that woman more than I can say. She misses me more than even I know. It's a two-way street.
The whole relationship with Matt is weird. We didn't even spend last night together. He wanted to and... well- initially I didn't. I'm starting to think I'm either not the relationship type- or I'm just far too picky and no one will ever measure up. ANyway, he went out with a shit ton of friends (read: young, gay, horny, home-wrecking friends from DC and Florida.) I was fine until I got drunk and realized I was too chicken to talk to anyone else (cuz it's wrong) and too drunkenly co-dependent to not want his company in the sack. I called him like 3-4 times and rang his door buzzer. He never came/buzzed/picked up. It's such a weird situation. I know I'm not totally into him, yet I don't quite have the ability to tell him "I don't want to see you." Cuz I do like him. some. I dunno.
It's so weird. I'm literally sitting on AIM and talking to 3 guys who are very. VERY. interested in me and total catches. I'm also dating someone who is very interested in me. And a total catch! Matt's an ER doctor ladies and gentlemen. A cute and young ER doctor. Yet... All I can think about is all the things that none of them have that I want.
I had a "heart-to-heart" with Kristy last night. (As much as her and I can have when it doesn't concern her) and she basically told me that I'm slightly crazy. THe long and the short was "you're smart, a 22-year old teacher who is very attractive and you're too young to worry so much about some image of perfection... WHAT YOU WANT WILL CHANGE BY THE TIME YOU'RE REALLY READY TO SETTLE DOWN! Just have fun and don't think so much."
I'm sure this isn't exactly what she said- but you get the idea. However, it's hard to take advice coming from her. She's a 31-year old bombshell who is married to (yet separated from) someone who is no good for her. She still remains tightly-bound to the idea that they will be together some day- and, as a result, all this time right now is just a fun "doesn't count" game. She's dating her principal (she's a middle school teacher.) She's also pseudo-dating this other guy. They both play her for a fool. Somehow she simultaneously gets off on it and hurt by it. So, needless to say- she's probably not the best to heed dating advice from.
Things I wish were different:
*my mom was super, duper happy, healthy and lived closer to me.
* I had more money, a bigger place and a sick amount of pure bliss.
*My step dad and step sister (opposite sides) weren't so deathly ill.
*Clemmie wasn't so deathly ill.
*many of my students weren't so poor, homeless, parent-less, depressed, angry, apathetic to their lives and bound to be victims of the viscous cyclical world that they are so involuntarily subscribed to.
*My niece wasn't so depressed, angry and suicidal. (She's 16 and within the last month she's: cut up her arms, taken pills from a random guy and slept with a 27-year old.) It all comes back to one huge thing she's lacking. GENUINE LOVE FROM SOMEONE. As a result, she looks for it in these other places. As they say- negative attention is better than no attention. Her parents (my sibling and his wife) are the primary culprits. Damn them to hell- if I could only tell them what I think about what they're doing to her. :(
*That Jeremy and Josh (two of my 10 siblings) could get their shit together. THeir kids will repeat their mistakes if they don't. Jeremy just married his girl (yet cheats on her cuz he doesn't like her) and Josh is about to propose to his (and doesn't like her.) They both grew up in broken homes and don't want their kids to go through what they did. They however don't realize that two unhappy parents together is certainly a far-fetched cry from ideal. Blah. Jeremy is racist, sexist and a total redneck. He used "nigger" twice on the phone with me before I told him if he does it again I have to hang up. He said "his woman is lazy and doesn't know her role... If my old lady don't (not doesn't) start doing what I tell her- she's done!" It's sick.
* My dad wasn't such an ass. We stayed up til 3am Christmas Eve arguing about politics, the war, our country and Bush. It's so weird how a man and his spawn could be as polar opposite as we are. His love is deep (yet shallow); his judgment is shallow (yet deep.) It makes it hard.
* I knew what I wanted and then when I got it I was happy. I have this deep and insatiable need to get/be/do all that I seemingly can't.
* I could take the 4 guys who really like me right now and put them all together to create a super-homo. Yes, I know. You're right. So, what do you want me to do about it? Exactly!
*I DIDN'T HAVE TO WAKE AT 6AM TO REPORT TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! and Christina's still visiting so I dunno how I'm gonna get to bed early with her in such a small space with me. Arghity.
*Michigan was going to the National Championship and not to the Rose Bowl in an hour! hah. :)
Ok. All this negativity is sucking the life out of me... IT'S THE NEW YEAR AND I WISH YOU AND YOURS A GREAT ONE... MUAH TIMES 1092382384349539453!!!