(no subject)
So usually when I say "I'm too tired to type much" I usually go on at nauseum. However, tonight is different. I'm really too tired. However, I just had to get two things down for my record keeping...
I was sexually assaulted and verbally slandered by two students today. Both of which are now facing superintendent's suspensions/expulsions. Both of which have now threatened my life (they're kids who've really headed down the wrong path in life.) They then threatened me once again (in front of administration) once they found out I reported them. "I swear, if I get suspended (again) he's fucking dead. He's going to get it..." THey're both in gangs. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. THe one just got back this week after being on a superintendent's suspension since september (It's december!) He kicked the living shit out of this kid back at the beginning of the year for looking at him wrong. These kids are severely... severely challenged in many ways.
I hated to do it, and I certainly didn't think/want it to get blown up so big. I'm just so sick of a few kids ruining it for the masses. I couldn't teach anymore. I can only take so many "I wonder if he takes it or gives it?" (anal sex.) or "fucking faggot, I will kick his ass..." Most of the kids at the school love me (They took a school-wide poll. I got the second highest votes for fav. teacher. :)) and I refuse to let a few ruin it. I know I am very different from EVERYONE at that school and that is why I cut so much slack for so long. But I have had it. The long and the short of it is... I have to go get restraining orders tomorrow. I have to testify. They will be out for a good long while, which makes me mixed with emotions. I actually tried to get administration/deans to take it easy- but they're really just using me as the scapegoat to get the ass holes out of the school. (I really wish I wasn't the scapegoat. I really want it all to be over.) It was a really trying day, as you can imagine. I'm scared for tomorrow.
Things with MatThew are... good? Maybe? hah. He likes me. (A lot? I think) which is nice. I just dunno how I feel. I'm so mixed. I'm such a picky, tragic mess. Tis sad, really. I stayed over his house last night. Don't get any ideas- I'm a total prude. We didn't even kiss.. Well I take that back- he literally pecked my lips once... sorta. In passing. Like a "natural, what we do" type peck. Kinda weirdly butterfly-ish. We decorated his christmas tree, listened to christmas music, drank (a lot of) wine, cuddled a lot, ate some candies I bought him and just vegged. It was nice. Oh, and I made him slow dance with me once (and I tried to teach him to line dance to some country-sounding christmas song.) Anywho, we'll see. His bday is this week, which is frustrating. We're at that weird dating, do I get you something? and if so what? stage. hah. :) Cute, I know. I'm supposed to go to his house friday to help him set up for his bday party. I wanna play poker instead. hah. :)
Dinner party tomorrow with Emily, Kristy, Max, Connor, Emily Ashley, some other chick and me (and maybe matThew, I haven't decided.) It's at Emily alpha's house. She's making lasagna, I think. Should be interesting... should be fun. Ok, I have more, but I'm tired. I'm gonna read myself to sleep. Night kids.
I was sexually assaulted and verbally slandered by two students today. Both of which are now facing superintendent's suspensions/expulsions. Both of which have now threatened my life (they're kids who've really headed down the wrong path in life.) They then threatened me once again (in front of administration) once they found out I reported them. "I swear, if I get suspended (again) he's fucking dead. He's going to get it..." THey're both in gangs. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. THe one just got back this week after being on a superintendent's suspension since september (It's december!) He kicked the living shit out of this kid back at the beginning of the year for looking at him wrong. These kids are severely... severely challenged in many ways.
I hated to do it, and I certainly didn't think/want it to get blown up so big. I'm just so sick of a few kids ruining it for the masses. I couldn't teach anymore. I can only take so many "I wonder if he takes it or gives it?" (anal sex.) or "fucking faggot, I will kick his ass..." Most of the kids at the school love me (They took a school-wide poll. I got the second highest votes for fav. teacher. :)) and I refuse to let a few ruin it. I know I am very different from EVERYONE at that school and that is why I cut so much slack for so long. But I have had it. The long and the short of it is... I have to go get restraining orders tomorrow. I have to testify. They will be out for a good long while, which makes me mixed with emotions. I actually tried to get administration/deans to take it easy- but they're really just using me as the scapegoat to get the ass holes out of the school. (I really wish I wasn't the scapegoat. I really want it all to be over.) It was a really trying day, as you can imagine. I'm scared for tomorrow.
Things with MatThew are... good? Maybe? hah. He likes me. (A lot? I think) which is nice. I just dunno how I feel. I'm so mixed. I'm such a picky, tragic mess. Tis sad, really. I stayed over his house last night. Don't get any ideas- I'm a total prude. We didn't even kiss.. Well I take that back- he literally pecked my lips once... sorta. In passing. Like a "natural, what we do" type peck. Kinda weirdly butterfly-ish. We decorated his christmas tree, listened to christmas music, drank (a lot of) wine, cuddled a lot, ate some candies I bought him and just vegged. It was nice. Oh, and I made him slow dance with me once (and I tried to teach him to line dance to some country-sounding christmas song.) Anywho, we'll see. His bday is this week, which is frustrating. We're at that weird dating, do I get you something? and if so what? stage. hah. :) Cute, I know. I'm supposed to go to his house friday to help him set up for his bday party. I wanna play poker instead. hah. :)
Dinner party tomorrow with Emily, Kristy, Max, Connor, Emily Ashley, some other chick and me (and maybe matThew, I haven't decided.) It's at Emily alpha's house. She's making lasagna, I think. Should be interesting... should be fun. Ok, I have more, but I'm tired. I'm gonna read myself to sleep. Night kids.