please, just shoot me.
Well, well, well. Lately my life has been slowly improving from the shit hole it has been the past few months. But anyways, i quit Magic Bean finally last thursday and i started my new job at Burlington on the 20th of July..i think. But i have a steady paycheck now.. well at least from there and Apple Mountain. It's nice to have a consistent cash flow every week. =]
On a much more sadder note -- On August 2nd, 2008 it felt as if someone stabbed a knife right through my heart.. my whole world all came crashing down. He's gone.. for good this time. I just can't believe he ACTUALLY married that hag. It just boggles my mind, and i think it always will. And I just can't grasp the reality that he would even begin to date her or even propose to her in the first place. After all the things he's told me or at least use to tell me about how he feels about her.. and none of them were good mind you. I just honestly, can't remember where he and i went wrong, like what exactly made it that we would never ever be "us" again?! Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was cheating on me and lying to me about it, lying to me about A LOT of things. Doing things i asked him NOT to do but would do it anyway behind my back and then i would have to find out from other people that it even happened. I know that all had a huge part in us not working out. But shouldn't love conquer all? Isn't that what everyone says? Why can't the love you have or have HAD for someone for so long conquer over a girl he was barely with a few months matter more?? I would like to think so. I hate to constantly think about them being happy together when i'm so miserable.. without him. I mean i know for a fact in the beginning of their relationship he wasn't even that into it. I would just like to know what the hell changed his mind? When and WHY did he start to love her? Or even start to think that he'd wanna marry her? I mean JESUS CHRIST i was with him for 3 years!! Why the fuck did he not propose to me? What's the difference between me and HER? Why did you choose her over me? I thought i was your everything?? Where did we go so wrong? I hate to be mean or whatever but i hope you two do not last. I know thats pretty harsh but you two don't belong together. She pulled you in so quick you didn't even have a chance to look back. I feel sorry for you, for falling for her crap. But it's ok.. in a couple years i'll be hearing about your divorce.. and it will bring a smile to my face. i know i probably sound like a huge bitch right now, but i really don't care. and if YOU see this, you know who you are i don't give a flying fuck what you think.. you should feel insecure about me "stealing" him away.. you have been ever since you moved in with him. And you know what? That makes me feel so much better knowing that you are that afraid. It doesn't matter that you NOW have a wedding band on your finger.. that doesn't mean SHIT. Look at all the failed marriages lately of young couples such as yourselves! You two won't last that long. I'm sure it breaks your perfect little heart too.
But ANYWAYS! I think most of you, or if anyone is reading this, know exactly who this is all about. The love of my life. I will never give up on you.. i love you so much. You were my first true love.. and you will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart. <3
That definately made me feel a lot better, being able to vent and get all that shit off my chest. =]
On a much more sadder note -- On August 2nd, 2008 it felt as if someone stabbed a knife right through my heart.. my whole world all came crashing down. He's gone.. for good this time. I just can't believe he ACTUALLY married that hag. It just boggles my mind, and i think it always will. And I just can't grasp the reality that he would even begin to date her or even propose to her in the first place. After all the things he's told me or at least use to tell me about how he feels about her.. and none of them were good mind you. I just honestly, can't remember where he and i went wrong, like what exactly made it that we would never ever be "us" again?! Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was cheating on me and lying to me about it, lying to me about A LOT of things. Doing things i asked him NOT to do but would do it anyway behind my back and then i would have to find out from other people that it even happened. I know that all had a huge part in us not working out. But shouldn't love conquer all? Isn't that what everyone says? Why can't the love you have or have HAD for someone for so long conquer over a girl he was barely with a few months matter more?? I would like to think so. I hate to constantly think about them being happy together when i'm so miserable.. without him. I mean i know for a fact in the beginning of their relationship he wasn't even that into it. I would just like to know what the hell changed his mind? When and WHY did he start to love her? Or even start to think that he'd wanna marry her? I mean JESUS CHRIST i was with him for 3 years!! Why the fuck did he not propose to me? What's the difference between me and HER? Why did you choose her over me? I thought i was your everything?? Where did we go so wrong? I hate to be mean or whatever but i hope you two do not last. I know thats pretty harsh but you two don't belong together. She pulled you in so quick you didn't even have a chance to look back. I feel sorry for you, for falling for her crap. But it's ok.. in a couple years i'll be hearing about your divorce.. and it will bring a smile to my face. i know i probably sound like a huge bitch right now, but i really don't care. and if YOU see this, you know who you are i don't give a flying fuck what you think.. you should feel insecure about me "stealing" him away.. you have been ever since you moved in with him. And you know what? That makes me feel so much better knowing that you are that afraid. It doesn't matter that you NOW have a wedding band on your finger.. that doesn't mean SHIT. Look at all the failed marriages lately of young couples such as yourselves! You two won't last that long. I'm sure it breaks your perfect little heart too.
But ANYWAYS! I think most of you, or if anyone is reading this, know exactly who this is all about. The love of my life. I will never give up on you.. i love you so much. You were my first true love.. and you will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart. <3
That definately made me feel a lot better, being able to vent and get all that shit off my chest. =]