Why does the world suck so much?
I just read this article on death in childbirth in Tanzania. It's all so tragic and needless. Understaffed clinics, women who don't go to the hospital because they can't afford to, high death rates from simple problems that were all but eliminated a century ago in developed countries. How can let things like this happen in our world?!
I read it and I felt like crying. My breathing was all choked up like I was sobbing - but I'm one of those people who really don't cry easily, and my eyes were completely dry. And then I felt horrible for not being able to cry about it.
And then, because I didn't have anything else to do, I went and got on facebook and joined a group about "Good Grammar is Hot", and I listened to Shakira, and then I got on LJ and read snarky comments about fanfic, and in a few minutes I was laughing. And then I suddenly realized what I was doing and felt horrible again because why do I care about such trivial things and how can I just put things out of my mind so easily?!
And then at the same time I know I'm letting myself get way too affected by matters I can't do anything about. This is why I tend to immerse myself in fantasy and fandom and all the other in-my-head stuff. My parents tend to tell me I need to be more involved in the real world. But all the crappiness of the real world always gets to me so much; I hate it. And so I tend to try not to think about it. But then when I do think about what I'm doing I feel horrible.
I read it and I felt like crying. My breathing was all choked up like I was sobbing - but I'm one of those people who really don't cry easily, and my eyes were completely dry. And then I felt horrible for not being able to cry about it.
And then, because I didn't have anything else to do, I went and got on facebook and joined a group about "Good Grammar is Hot", and I listened to Shakira, and then I got on LJ and read snarky comments about fanfic, and in a few minutes I was laughing. And then I suddenly realized what I was doing and felt horrible again because why do I care about such trivial things and how can I just put things out of my mind so easily?!
And then at the same time I know I'm letting myself get way too affected by matters I can't do anything about. This is why I tend to immerse myself in fantasy and fandom and all the other in-my-head stuff. My parents tend to tell me I need to be more involved in the real world. But all the crappiness of the real world always gets to me so much; I hate it. And so I tend to try not to think about it. But then when I do think about what I'm doing I feel horrible.