God dammit.
I can always feel it at the back of my throat. It stings to swallow. Urgh. Fuck. All the obscenities in the world can't dull this ache and make things alright. It'd be nice if they could, wouldn't it? You will return to me. Cause if you don't then this book is all lies. If you don't my plans will all be ruined. If you don't I'll start drinking like the way I drank before. Oh I just won't have a future anymore. Blah.