Let's have a dying party.
It's stronger than ever. I can fucking hear it. I can fucking hear it in my fucking head. It won't fucking go away. I WANT IT TO ALL JUST GO AWAY. I DON'T CARE HOW, I DON'T CARE HOW. IT JUST HAS TO. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I CAN'T FUCKING FUNCTION. FUCKING DRAGON CHASERS. THIS CONVERSATION KILLS. IT'S ALL I HEARD OR SEE NOW. THERE'S NO RELIEF. NOTHING IN THE HOUSE THAT CAN STOP THIS. THERE'S NO FUCKING LIQUOR THERE'S NO FUCKING PILLS THERE'S NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING. THERES NOTHING IN ME ANYMORE. FUCKING HEARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT. VOID. IT JUST HURTS. HURTS. FUCKING HURTS. I GUESS I'VE GOT TO GO. Jesus fucking Christ I'm so pathetic it hurts. It's sickening. I'm sure you will all agree. And those were wonderful times. Fuck. I'm choking myself with thoughts. Five or four times. I told you five or four times. Fucking dying party up in here. Let's leave our homes and run off to a new city. Start over. Get fucked up to the point where I won't be able to remember any of this. Big bang baby. SO YOUR SON IS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS. I WANNA CRY BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED. It's such a laugh. This isn't worth it. I'ts not worth it. None of it is worth it. Does anyone knows how this story really goes? I wanna cry but I'm not allowed. Love is not free. I hope someone kills me in my sleep. ALL OF YOU BETTER SING ALONG. Big bang baby it's a crash crash crash. I am smelling like a rose that somebody gave me cause I'm dead and bloated. What's real and what's for sale? Is it you? Is it me? Search for things that you can't see. Going blind and out of reach. Some where in the vaseline. I feel like throwing up my lunch, it's all I had today. God damn I hate myself. As of now I bet you've got me wrong. So unsure we reach for something strong. I think I do hate. So much. Maybe I just hate the idea and not the person. I honestly dont' fucking give a shit anymore. Fuck it. Fuck it all. As of now I bet you've got me wrong. I guess my mom was right. I don't have a fucking heart. But something's gotta turn out right. FUCK. Tortured. I'd much rather burn myself than listen to it or see it or sense it or even think about it. I want to feel some sort of fucking agony other than the present one to distract me. I need more distractions. But I got past all the distractions. They're all gone. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING GONE CAUSE I MADE THEM GO AWAY SO LONG AGO. I WANT THEM BACK. I WANT TO BE THE SLOPPY DRUNK YOU SAW IN YOUR WORST DREAMS, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF I'M STANDING OR SITTING OR IF THE PAINTS PEELING OR ANYTHING. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW A GOD DAMN THING. I'VE FUCKING LOST IT NOW. I'VE MOTHER FUCKING LOST IT. LOOK AT ME NOW I'M A MAN WHO WON'T LET HIMSELF ME. I'M NOT A MAN. I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING CHILD WITH SENSE ENOUGH TO JUST STOP. I'M A FUCKING BABY WHO WHINES AND CRIES AND I DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. THIS IS WHO I AM. THIS IS WAHT I'VE FUCKING BECOME. I'M SO FUCKING SORRY IF THIS HURTS OR INCONVENIENCES ANYONE. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T FUCKING DEAL. I CAN'T FUCKING DEAL. I HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF KICKING MYSELF IN THE TEETH. YOU ASKED ME IF I WAS ON ANYTHING AND I WASN'T. I SWEAR TO GOD I WASN'T BUT I WISH I WAS. I WISH EVERYTHING WAS JUST SO MUCH LIGHTER. I WISH FOR SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE SO FUCKING STUPID AND CHILDISH AND EVIL AND WRONG AND BAD AND I'M A PIECE OF FUCKING GARBAGE. HA. Fucking wonderful. Bury me softly in this womb. All I want is to be beside you. I give this part of me to you. I guess the only thing I want more than your hand is a glass of relief. Maybe a few bottles of it. Down in a hole, out of control. I'd like to fly but my wings have been sewn in ice. HAHAHAHA. I'M BURIED TO THE THROAT IN CONTRADICTIONARY LIES. I TAKE PRIDE AS THE KING OF ALLITERATURE. IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FIRST. I'M TOO BUSY ACTING LIKE I'M NOT NAIVE. OUT OF THE GROUND AND INTO THE SKY. OUT OF THE SKY AND INTO THE DIRT. Plant me under a rock. I'm very ape and very high. I'm sick with jealousy. We passed upon the stairs. Spoke of was and when. Although I was unfair, he said I was his friend. Which came as a surprise. I spoke unto his eyes, "I thought you died alone a long long time ago." Oh no, not me. We never lost control. You're face to face with the man who sold the world. I laughed and shook his hand, then made my way back home. I searched for farm and land. Years and years I roamed. I gazed a gazley stare at all the millions here. I must've died alone a long long time ago. Who knows? Not me. I never lost control. You're face to face with the man who sold the world. I'm out of control. Maybe not quite there yet. Ha, every day I die a little more. I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE. I'm on my time with everyone. I HAVE VERY BAD POSTURE. SIT AND DRINK PENNYROYAL TEA. Distill the life that's inside of me. SIT AND DRINK PENNYROYAL TEA. I'm anemic royalty. GIVE ME A LEONARD COHEN AFTERWORLD SO I CAN SIGH ETERNALLY. Christ I'm pathetic. I'M SO TIRED AND I CAN'T SLEEP. I'M ANEMIC ROYALTY. I'M A LIAR AND A THEIF. Let's all just sit and drink ourselves to death. I'm on warm milk and laxatives. CHERRY FLAVORED ANT-ACIDS. You might as well just kill me now. Stab me in the heart. Twist it so I'll scream louder. DISTILL THE LIFE THAT'S INSIDE OF ME. I love how that song's about an abortion remedy. I'm a stillborn fetus without a future. I'M NOT LIKE HIM BUT I CAN PRETEND. THE SUN IS GONE BUT I'VE GOT A LIGHT. THE DAY IS DONE, AND I'M HAVING FUN. I THINK I'M DUMB, OR MAYBE JUST HAPPY. I THINK I'M UNHAPPY. Let's just be happy. But I'm unhappy. MY HEART IS BROKEN BUT I HAVE SOME GLUE. HELP ME INHALE, I'LL MEND IT WITH YOU. WE'LL FLOAT AROUND AND HANG OUT ON CLOUDS, THEN WE'LL COME DOWN AND HAVE A HANGOVER. Yah baby. SKIN THE SUN, FALL ASLEEP, WISH AWAY, THE SOUL IS CHEAP, LESSON LEARNED, WISH ME LUCK, SOOTHE THE BURNS, WAKE ME UP. I don't want you to ever look at me again. Your gaze is fire. Our days are done and I've had some fun. I think I'm dumb or maybe just crazy. I think I'm dumb. I think I'm dumb. Time to end it with a song that I'm feeling like right now. I hope you're happy. TRUTH, COVERED IN SECURITY. I CAN'T LET IT SMOTHER ME. I'D LIKE TO BUT IT WOULDN'T WORK. TRADING OFF AND TAKING TURNS. I DON'T REGRET A THING AND I'VE GOT THIS FRIEND YOU SEE WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I WANTED MORE THAN I COULD STEAL. I'LL ARREST MYSELF AND WEAR A SHIELD. I'LL GO OUT OF MY WAY TO PROVE I EXIST. I SMELL HER ON YOU. DON'T TELL ME WHAT I WANNA HEAR. AFRAID OF NEVER KNOWING FEAR. I'LL KEEP FIGHTING JEALOUSY UNTIL ITS FUCKING GONE AND I'VE GOT THIS FRIEND YOU SEE WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I WANTED MORE THAN I COULD STEAL. I'LL ARREST MYSELF AND WEAR A SHIELD. I'LL GO OUT OF MY WAY TO PROVE I STILL LOVE YOU. WE'LL MAKE A PACT TO LEARN FROM WHOMEVER WE WANT WITHOUT NEW RULES AND WE'LL SHARE WHAT'S LOST AND HOW WE GREW AND WE'LL GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO PROVE THAT I STILL SMELL HER ON YOU. I SMELL HER ON YOU.