100 Things: Discussion 002 - Gender & 'Biting the Sun'
I was going to talk about my thoughts on gender and my own gender identity, but I think before I do that, I need to talk about a novel I read when I was in high school. I read this book in my developmental years and it legitimately changed how I perceive not only myself and the world, but how I perceive gender restrictions, to a certain degree.
Biting the Sun is by Tanith Lee, before I forget to mention that.
First, I need to admit, I'm certain that I read this book and didn't take from it the meaning I was supposed to. BtS is about the protagonist coming from a identity-fluid society of leisure where she has grown bored with the endless options and opportunities. I'm fairly sure I'm supposed to learn that greed and constant self-reinvention is an empty path and that for one to be happy, one is supposed to find stability in knowing who they are, what their gender and life is, and to go through with it from start to finish. Even the title of the novel sounds like a remark on greed and 'ignorance is bliss'. It seems a combination of Eve's temptation to eat the fruit of knowledge in the Garden of Eden, and also of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun, which ended up killing him.
Reading the novel, however, opened me up to realizing that if I didn't like what I was expected to be, then I could just go and be who I wanted to be. The world has a habit of teaching little girls to be girls, and little boys to be boys, and keeping secret anything that doesn't fall between those lines. Or at least, back when I was young, when something like Lady Gaga would have deeply shocked me. I remember reading Biting the Sun and having a bit of a thrill, like a book about men who could choose to be women and sleep with men if they so desired, was something racy and forbidden. I remember how I used to always question 'is this what girls are really like' and never think to myself 'I'm a girl' or 'I want to be a girl' or 'I want to be a boy.'
Biting the Sun was interesting and dangerous, and it gave me a great deal of comfort to think that someone had thought about these sorts of things and written about them. I also remember thinking that I only liked the first half of the book, where everyone was malleable and ever-changing, constantly changing skin. The idea that someone would spurn that freedom of choice was difficult to understand.
I've given a great deal of thought to gender for quite some time. I'm still not sure I understand it completely, or if I ever will, but I try to read as much as I can about it. I'm not sure where I stand on my own sense of gender, so the closest I can come to right now is gender-neutral. I don't think of myself in terms of 'she' or 'he' and it pleases me when people wonder which to use.
Biting the Sun is by Tanith Lee, before I forget to mention that.
First, I need to admit, I'm certain that I read this book and didn't take from it the meaning I was supposed to. BtS is about the protagonist coming from a identity-fluid society of leisure where she has grown bored with the endless options and opportunities. I'm fairly sure I'm supposed to learn that greed and constant self-reinvention is an empty path and that for one to be happy, one is supposed to find stability in knowing who they are, what their gender and life is, and to go through with it from start to finish. Even the title of the novel sounds like a remark on greed and 'ignorance is bliss'. It seems a combination of Eve's temptation to eat the fruit of knowledge in the Garden of Eden, and also of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun, which ended up killing him.
Reading the novel, however, opened me up to realizing that if I didn't like what I was expected to be, then I could just go and be who I wanted to be. The world has a habit of teaching little girls to be girls, and little boys to be boys, and keeping secret anything that doesn't fall between those lines. Or at least, back when I was young, when something like Lady Gaga would have deeply shocked me. I remember reading Biting the Sun and having a bit of a thrill, like a book about men who could choose to be women and sleep with men if they so desired, was something racy and forbidden. I remember how I used to always question 'is this what girls are really like' and never think to myself 'I'm a girl' or 'I want to be a girl' or 'I want to be a boy.'
Biting the Sun was interesting and dangerous, and it gave me a great deal of comfort to think that someone had thought about these sorts of things and written about them. I also remember thinking that I only liked the first half of the book, where everyone was malleable and ever-changing, constantly changing skin. The idea that someone would spurn that freedom of choice was difficult to understand.
I've given a great deal of thought to gender for quite some time. I'm still not sure I understand it completely, or if I ever will, but I try to read as much as I can about it. I'm not sure where I stand on my own sense of gender, so the closest I can come to right now is gender-neutral. I don't think of myself in terms of 'she' or 'he' and it pleases me when people wonder which to use.