(no subject)
Yesterday we had our PT baselines which I hated. We had to run a mile around the track in the heat and then do as many pushups and situps as we could in one minute. I sucked horribly on the mile, 19:56. It was in the hottest part of the day and my asthma kicked in. And, my team leader told everyone to start running before I was ready to go. And, even though I can't do very many pushups and situps in one minute, I wish they could have tested how long I could do them. I feel that is a much better indicator of my physical fitness.
I have figured out that things that I'm not good at I prefer to not do in front of people (such as exercise). If I have to do them in front of people I get very angry. I think having to run a mile on the track in front of everyone was wrong. Everyone was cheering for me, but I really wanted to throw everyone the finger because when everyone was telling me "Good Job! Good Job!" I knew I was really sucking balls. I mean, 19:56 sucks big green donkeys, and a whole lot of people saw me suck. I wanted to just quit and just say fuck it. I hate failing in front of people. I don't want people to come pick me up, because it's like, I failed, I know I failed, and I don't need anymore reassuring. It's only reminding me of how lacking I am in the physical fitness department. I know exercise is essential to our health and yada yada yada. But, I would like to see people who suck at singing be forced to get up on stage and sing opera. Yeah, then they would know how I feel. But we never have baselines in musical ability, only physical ability. I found out tonight I got placed in the lowest physical fitness group. I feel like I'm being penalized for being fat. It's like being fat is a bad thing (well, I guess it is).
And another thing, what is all this buzz about "living longer" whenever Christians are always preaching about going home to be with Jesus? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be morbid here. I just feel that physical ability gets more emphasis than other abilities in our society. And, since physical fitness is where I lack, I feel I have a right to bitch about it.
On a happier note, we had diversity training today. I talked a lot because I felt I had a lot to say. I think it's great that we are trying to be sensitive to other people's cultures, beliefs, genders, sexual orientations, religions and other things that distinguish people. But I do feel that we are over sensitive, and at the same time, have a long way to go. I do not think having a black president or a woman president will undo the injustices done to women and african americans.
Another thing I found out today. The MatthewSheppard hate crimes bill of 2007 was threatened to be vetoed by our president, which I think is messed up.
I have figured out that things that I'm not good at I prefer to not do in front of people (such as exercise). If I have to do them in front of people I get very angry. I think having to run a mile on the track in front of everyone was wrong. Everyone was cheering for me, but I really wanted to throw everyone the finger because when everyone was telling me "Good Job! Good Job!" I knew I was really sucking balls. I mean, 19:56 sucks big green donkeys, and a whole lot of people saw me suck. I wanted to just quit and just say fuck it. I hate failing in front of people. I don't want people to come pick me up, because it's like, I failed, I know I failed, and I don't need anymore reassuring. It's only reminding me of how lacking I am in the physical fitness department. I know exercise is essential to our health and yada yada yada. But, I would like to see people who suck at singing be forced to get up on stage and sing opera. Yeah, then they would know how I feel. But we never have baselines in musical ability, only physical ability. I found out tonight I got placed in the lowest physical fitness group. I feel like I'm being penalized for being fat. It's like being fat is a bad thing (well, I guess it is).
And another thing, what is all this buzz about "living longer" whenever Christians are always preaching about going home to be with Jesus? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be morbid here. I just feel that physical ability gets more emphasis than other abilities in our society. And, since physical fitness is where I lack, I feel I have a right to bitch about it.
On a happier note, we had diversity training today. I talked a lot because I felt I had a lot to say. I think it's great that we are trying to be sensitive to other people's cultures, beliefs, genders, sexual orientations, religions and other things that distinguish people. But I do feel that we are over sensitive, and at the same time, have a long way to go. I do not think having a black president or a woman president will undo the injustices done to women and african americans.
Another thing I found out today. The MatthewSheppard hate crimes bill of 2007 was threatened to be vetoed by our president, which I think is messed up.