(no subject)
I am contemplating going to another CR. I haven't been able to go on Friday nights lately due to my mom's cancer stuff and my work schedule, plus several of my good friends are getting hurt and leaving. I'm wondering if God is trying to tell me something about that. My friend S. got hurt really bad Friday night by several people that I have trusted in the past. Makes me wonder if these people can be trusted, know what I mean? S. isn't going back to Southern Hills anymore and it makes me sad.
My heart is very heavy right now with worry sadness and the opposite of peace, both with CR stuff, stuff here at school, mom starting chemo this Friday, my friend at FandC who is leaving, and my Ameri-Corp/Advanced Training Stuff. I wonder if I am pursuing the right things. I know my relationship with God needs more work. I wonder where my life is going. I am fixing to phase out and I am scared. I wonder if this is what other people feel when they are getting ready to phase out.
I also wonder if my sponsor was involved in the stuff that went on Friday night. If she hurt my friend, well, I might have to fire her as my sponsor and that hurts a lot too. I shouldn't be affected so negatively by stuff that happened to someone else, since its stuff I can't control. I need to worry about the stuff I can control, and when it comes down to it, there's not a lot that I can control. I can control how I treat others, what I say to others, what I put on my Ameri-Corps application, when I get my applications in, and how clean my locker is. I can also control when I get up, when I go to bed, whether or not I choose to take my medicine, whether or not I choose to learn in class and whether or not I spend time with God.
My heart is very heavy right now with worry sadness and the opposite of peace, both with CR stuff, stuff here at school, mom starting chemo this Friday, my friend at FandC who is leaving, and my Ameri-Corp/Advanced Training Stuff. I wonder if I am pursuing the right things. I know my relationship with God needs more work. I wonder where my life is going. I am fixing to phase out and I am scared. I wonder if this is what other people feel when they are getting ready to phase out.
I also wonder if my sponsor was involved in the stuff that went on Friday night. If she hurt my friend, well, I might have to fire her as my sponsor and that hurts a lot too. I shouldn't be affected so negatively by stuff that happened to someone else, since its stuff I can't control. I need to worry about the stuff I can control, and when it comes down to it, there's not a lot that I can control. I can control how I treat others, what I say to others, what I put on my Ameri-Corps application, when I get my applications in, and how clean my locker is. I can also control when I get up, when I go to bed, whether or not I choose to take my medicine, whether or not I choose to learn in class and whether or not I spend time with God.