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This is my motivational statement for my Americorps application. The question is: Why do you want to join Ameri-corps? What could you contribute to your Ameri-Corps project? What do you hope to gain from serving as an Ameri-Corps member
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In the second paragraph you have two sentences which say exactly the same thing.
"I try to always do right by others and myself, especially when no one else is watching. I am honest in my work and in my dealings with other individuals."
One of these sentences should be removed. There is no reason to keep saying you are honest unless you are actually dishonest.
In the third paragraph, I would eliminate the sentence "Symptoms of Asperger’s have made it difficult for me to handle large groups of people, extreme noise, and to interpret body language of other people such as facial expression and tone of voice." It isn't necessary to define the symptoms which are very negative. You want to keep the statement very positive and explain what you have done to overcome the condition.
In the third paragraph you mention you want to improve communicative skills and leadership skills. However you fail to mention the communication and leadership skills you possess already. I would add a few sentences about your communication and leadership skills in the second paragraph.
In the second paragraph I would add a sentence or two about your masonry and carpentry skills. It seems like the perfect lead in after your talk about Job Corps but you don't expand on it. This would make me suspicious whether you learned the practical skills at Job Corps.
Overall I think it is a well thought out statement. The main purpose of this statement is to sell yourself and your skills to Ameri-Corps. It may seem self-serving but you need to emphasize your skills and passion in this statement.
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