I guess I am just another girl...
To add to the notches on a guy's belt. He finally said He didn't love me. In fact, he said he never wanted to see me again. That's what I have been pushing for the past couple of days, but I never thought he'd actually say it. Like they said, becareful what you ask for... It might just happen. I feel empty inside.
Today was an interesting day. I met his ex girlfriend Alysha today. She's a cutie and really sweet. We compared stories... Funny how they are so similar. He's what I call a Serial Dater. He uses & abuses girls. He says he respects me. Yeah... Right.
He said he loved me. but if he did, would he really hurt me? Yeah. He did. In fact, he broke my heart. I've spent the past 3 days crying my eyes out... Because of him, I've lost so many things. My self respect, my self confidence, and most of all.... The respect of my friends. But, I've been taking these things back... Little by little.
Like they say, what goes around comes around. By the time I'm done with him, he'll be the laughing stock of Fresno.
I think about how angry I am... Than I think about how much I once cared for him. I read my past LJ's... As few as they were, they showed a brief insight in how our relationship was in the beginning. My favorite memory is the one where we went to SkyHarbor for the first time. I sent him a text message asking if he remember the first time we went... I didn't get a reply.
So far he's been fucking the shit out of Becca. Or so I heard. She looks like a guy though. Sounds like one too. Tell me my guy friends, if a girls voice was deeper than yours, how could you listen to her cum? Ew. To fuck her, he must've put a bag over her head. I know I'd have to if I had a dick. I've had everyone tell me she doesn't have shit on me.
Will my looks, money and car get my ex back? Do I even want him back? I don't know. If he all of a sudden said, let's get back together. I think I would. But than I'd make him feel how I've felt the past 3 months. Like I'm an inch tall. Is it a healthy relationship? By no means. Was it good? At first, it was great. He seemed the perfect guy. Hot, funny, sweet, amusing... Now, he's a dick. But, he's still hot. Actually, I think I'm going to do one last thing to him.
I'm going to use him like he used me. At a party. Is that bad of me to think/feel like that? I just want him to hurt like I am. I wish he could see me at my worst moment. All the hot tears I've shed over him in Matt's arms. Poor Matt. I'm crying on him over a guy he hates. I wish I could tell Matt I love him... But I can't. Because I'm not sure I know what love is. Here comes to the most often asked hardly ever answered question of the century... How do you know when you're in love? I thought I've been in love... Twice.
Once with the oft mentioned Jared V. Ahhh... Just thinking of him brings back memories. He's not a bad guy. He's grown up quite a bit the last time I saw him. He told me I haven't changed one bit except I'm hotter. I was like, whoa turbo. Jared... Wow, blast from the past. The FIRST guy I said I love you too. But I could never say I was in love with him.... I was too young at the time.
Anyways, gotta run.
Ciao...
Elle
Today was an interesting day. I met his ex girlfriend Alysha today. She's a cutie and really sweet. We compared stories... Funny how they are so similar. He's what I call a Serial Dater. He uses & abuses girls. He says he respects me. Yeah... Right.
He said he loved me. but if he did, would he really hurt me? Yeah. He did. In fact, he broke my heart. I've spent the past 3 days crying my eyes out... Because of him, I've lost so many things. My self respect, my self confidence, and most of all.... The respect of my friends. But, I've been taking these things back... Little by little.
Like they say, what goes around comes around. By the time I'm done with him, he'll be the laughing stock of Fresno.
I think about how angry I am... Than I think about how much I once cared for him. I read my past LJ's... As few as they were, they showed a brief insight in how our relationship was in the beginning. My favorite memory is the one where we went to SkyHarbor for the first time. I sent him a text message asking if he remember the first time we went... I didn't get a reply.
So far he's been fucking the shit out of Becca. Or so I heard. She looks like a guy though. Sounds like one too. Tell me my guy friends, if a girls voice was deeper than yours, how could you listen to her cum? Ew. To fuck her, he must've put a bag over her head. I know I'd have to if I had a dick. I've had everyone tell me she doesn't have shit on me.
Will my looks, money and car get my ex back? Do I even want him back? I don't know. If he all of a sudden said, let's get back together. I think I would. But than I'd make him feel how I've felt the past 3 months. Like I'm an inch tall. Is it a healthy relationship? By no means. Was it good? At first, it was great. He seemed the perfect guy. Hot, funny, sweet, amusing... Now, he's a dick. But, he's still hot. Actually, I think I'm going to do one last thing to him.
I'm going to use him like he used me. At a party. Is that bad of me to think/feel like that? I just want him to hurt like I am. I wish he could see me at my worst moment. All the hot tears I've shed over him in Matt's arms. Poor Matt. I'm crying on him over a guy he hates. I wish I could tell Matt I love him... But I can't. Because I'm not sure I know what love is. Here comes to the most often asked hardly ever answered question of the century... How do you know when you're in love? I thought I've been in love... Twice.
Once with the oft mentioned Jared V. Ahhh... Just thinking of him brings back memories. He's not a bad guy. He's grown up quite a bit the last time I saw him. He told me I haven't changed one bit except I'm hotter. I was like, whoa turbo. Jared... Wow, blast from the past. The FIRST guy I said I love you too. But I could never say I was in love with him.... I was too young at the time.
Anyways, gotta run.
Ciao...
Elle