am i being ridiculous?
Okay, for years, all I have wanted was someone to like me. Someone stable. Someone who is not a loser. I have wanted to not be alone anymore.
Now... I have been talking to this guy that I work with. Nothing serious. We've hung out with other people from work, and have hung out together at the bar with other people. I used to not be able to stand this guy. I used to think he was the MOST annoying person I knew. Since then, I have realized that I was wrong. I actually like him, but I'm not sure it extends to more than friendship. I'm not like super enthusiastic about him or anything... I feel bad about this, because I do enjoy his company, and I would like to give it a chance, but I don't want to let it get so far that I am in something and dying to get out and feeling like I am going to hurt nice feelings if I do. I feel like this guy is TOO nice for me. I feel like I'm a little too wild for him. I mean, he drinks, sure. He goes out, sure. But I could not see him at a festival. I don't know, I get the impression that he is a little more sheltered than I am, and I don't want to corrupt him, or have him think less of me if I do things that he's not into (like stay out all night on a school night and then go teach all day). I could just chill out and grow up, but I feel like I am living my life right now, and I don't really want to stop.
I was talking to Kris about it, and she said it's cool, just go with it, but just don't limit my options. I just... I'm not sure if that works with this guy. Maybe I'm not sure if it works with me.
I saw this kid from theodore's up in Maine, and he like threw himself at me, and while I'm very aware that he is an affectionate person, I don't know, I feel like I would like to check THAT out, or something. Or something. I don't know. I never know.
I'm never happy with what I've got. I always want something more. or something less. or just something else. Why can't I just be happy the way things are?
Now... I have been talking to this guy that I work with. Nothing serious. We've hung out with other people from work, and have hung out together at the bar with other people. I used to not be able to stand this guy. I used to think he was the MOST annoying person I knew. Since then, I have realized that I was wrong. I actually like him, but I'm not sure it extends to more than friendship. I'm not like super enthusiastic about him or anything... I feel bad about this, because I do enjoy his company, and I would like to give it a chance, but I don't want to let it get so far that I am in something and dying to get out and feeling like I am going to hurt nice feelings if I do. I feel like this guy is TOO nice for me. I feel like I'm a little too wild for him. I mean, he drinks, sure. He goes out, sure. But I could not see him at a festival. I don't know, I get the impression that he is a little more sheltered than I am, and I don't want to corrupt him, or have him think less of me if I do things that he's not into (like stay out all night on a school night and then go teach all day). I could just chill out and grow up, but I feel like I am living my life right now, and I don't really want to stop.
I was talking to Kris about it, and she said it's cool, just go with it, but just don't limit my options. I just... I'm not sure if that works with this guy. Maybe I'm not sure if it works with me.
I saw this kid from theodore's up in Maine, and he like threw himself at me, and while I'm very aware that he is an affectionate person, I don't know, I feel like I would like to check THAT out, or something. Or something. I don't know. I never know.
I'm never happy with what I've got. I always want something more. or something less. or just something else. Why can't I just be happy the way things are?