...and the shit hit the fan
I am worried about my dad. I am worried because his wife sucks. They are likely going to split up. Mainly because she is a douche. There are things that he could do differently, most involving foresight of possible consequences that he doesn't always have... but really. My dad is awesome, and his wife sucks.
The worst thing is that I don't know if I can help in any meaningful way. She wants to sell their house to her daughter, so her kid can go to school in East Longmeadow. I say maybe the princess should find her own house. She clearly has never read the giving tree. I think this would might have even been something my dad would have considered, mainly because he'd do anything for my niece and pretty much anything for my stepsister. The problem here is that he is not even being considered in the equation. Partly that is a legal problem, given that the house, and the mortgage, are both his as well as hers. But it is also a problem of principle. My stepmother was alone for a while before she and my dad got together. Really I don't know if she has ever been not alone, at least in her mind. If you asked her, she would likely tell you that she has done everything for herself for her whole life. No matter that my dad has been there for her for the better part of 20 years, or that he has been there for her kid. She is a narcissist to the full definition of the word. It's always about "me and I" unless it's about her daughter, and then, in the last 5 years, her granddaughter (my belief is that they matter only because, in her mind, they are extensions of herself).
So I guess the stated logic behind selling the house and moving is that "It is getting harder for ME to pay MY mortgage and for ME to take care of MY house." No consideration that most of what's been done to make that house better has been done by my dad, or that he also takes care of it, or that he also works ALL the time to pay the mortgage as well.
The part that troubles me the most is not that he won't get through it, because he will, but that I might not be able to help in any meaningful way. Yeah, I can get his back, but when he needs a place to stay for a while, can I help with that? I think that if she's so adamant about moving, then maybe SHE should go stay with her daughter. But what will probably happen is that my dad will probably have to find a place to stay, and I don't know if I can offer that. If it was just me living here, I definitely would. But I also have a roommate, and I could see that being awkward for at least her. She's met him, sure. But she doesn't know him. I don't know. I try to put myself in her position and I wouldn't like it. I would probably go along with it, but that's just me. If it was angie, I would ask... But she's also known my dad forever. He's taken her camping with us, and she's been my friend for a long time, so it's kinda different. Shana and I are friendly, of course, but when it comes down to it, we're more roommates than friends...
And the whole dilemma sucks. My dad has always been there for me. He has always helped me when I needed it, with pretty much no questions asked. And now he might need my help and I'm thinking about why I might not be able to... I suck. The whole situation sucks.
The worst thing is that I don't know if I can help in any meaningful way. She wants to sell their house to her daughter, so her kid can go to school in East Longmeadow. I say maybe the princess should find her own house. She clearly has never read the giving tree. I think this would might have even been something my dad would have considered, mainly because he'd do anything for my niece and pretty much anything for my stepsister. The problem here is that he is not even being considered in the equation. Partly that is a legal problem, given that the house, and the mortgage, are both his as well as hers. But it is also a problem of principle. My stepmother was alone for a while before she and my dad got together. Really I don't know if she has ever been not alone, at least in her mind. If you asked her, she would likely tell you that she has done everything for herself for her whole life. No matter that my dad has been there for her for the better part of 20 years, or that he has been there for her kid. She is a narcissist to the full definition of the word. It's always about "me and I" unless it's about her daughter, and then, in the last 5 years, her granddaughter (my belief is that they matter only because, in her mind, they are extensions of herself).
So I guess the stated logic behind selling the house and moving is that "It is getting harder for ME to pay MY mortgage and for ME to take care of MY house." No consideration that most of what's been done to make that house better has been done by my dad, or that he also takes care of it, or that he also works ALL the time to pay the mortgage as well.
The part that troubles me the most is not that he won't get through it, because he will, but that I might not be able to help in any meaningful way. Yeah, I can get his back, but when he needs a place to stay for a while, can I help with that? I think that if she's so adamant about moving, then maybe SHE should go stay with her daughter. But what will probably happen is that my dad will probably have to find a place to stay, and I don't know if I can offer that. If it was just me living here, I definitely would. But I also have a roommate, and I could see that being awkward for at least her. She's met him, sure. But she doesn't know him. I don't know. I try to put myself in her position and I wouldn't like it. I would probably go along with it, but that's just me. If it was angie, I would ask... But she's also known my dad forever. He's taken her camping with us, and she's been my friend for a long time, so it's kinda different. Shana and I are friendly, of course, but when it comes down to it, we're more roommates than friends...
And the whole dilemma sucks. My dad has always been there for me. He has always helped me when I needed it, with pretty much no questions asked. And now he might need my help and I'm thinking about why I might not be able to... I suck. The whole situation sucks.