"demons melt my soul"
So this entry would've started with an account of last nights events, which were utterly trivial in light of this morning. I feel like such a dipshit for feeling stupid for hanging out with my little brothers the end half of last night. I feel dumb for caring about finding superglue for my picture. I feel stupid for wanting to spend more time with Stephanie. I am so incredibly glad that my brother wasn't there. So one of my brother's best friends got hit by a car last night and died. Mike is really upset about it and there is nothing I can fucking do to make it better. I've only met the kid once or twice and I'm crying. Mike was hanging out with him all yesterday and was supposed to spend the night at his house, but couldn't get ahold of him all night. Then Dan called me and told me about it...and my parents told Mike. He and Mike had only hung out for a few days/weeks, but they got really close really fast. I'm so worried about Mike though, I mean I know he'll be okay after a while, but what gets me is that this is something he will never get over...you don't get over stuff like that. He's only fucking 14! He shouldn't have to deal with this yet! Goddamn it! And I can't fix it, I can't make it better by going and beating the hell out of that fucker who hit him, I can't cheer Mike up with something stupid, I can't be there for him as much as I should be because I fucking work all the time, tomarrow's my 'graduation party' with my family, sunday is my birthday and i work, monday I'm going out with chirstine for my birthday, and tues/weds I have orientation at UIC. And I can't do a fucking thing anyway because I'm fucking useless in this situation...you can't just say something and make it alright. I just love him a lot so I'm really worried about him right now is all...he hasn't come out of his room...and I know he won't for a while.