Don't let the days go by..
I miss spinning so incredibly much.
I have all my equipment in the garage.. it's just too cold out to spin.
I probably wouldn't even be able to catch a hilt toss very strong. All the muscle in my arms has evaporated. I need to start working on my arms and legs. My dancers' thighs are diminishing. I was so proud of them too. I had killer thighs. My calves could use some work, I suppose. But they still look decent. The whole ab area is a lost cause. I don't care enough to do sit-ups. I just want my arms and legs toned.
Work was really busy today. Everyone was teasing me and Ben. They all act middle schoolers. It didn't bother me, I've long since stopped caring what anybody has to say.
I feel a bit down today. I really need to talk to someone soon. I need to get these things out. I don't care if I can't really trust anyone completely, and I don't care if it does more harm than good. I need to get it out of my head.
Oh but it's so hard. I never have a real chance to just sit down and talk to people like that. I've always felt uncomfortable talking to people. Even with close friends, I feel weird going to them and just being like, oh hey, by the way! Remember when I pretend that everything was okay? Well, yeah, see what really was happening was this. But I was too stupid and weak and overpowered to do anything and I didn't trust you at the time so I didn't tell you and now I feel like my head is a spinning vortex of horrible memories. Want to comfort me? Yeah. Don't think so.
Oh, maybe some day I'll tell someone everything.
Maybe I'll just write a book...
Oh yeah. I looked at my Shakespeare calendar. The day-by-day one. It's (ironically) stuck on August 19/20. I saw it and laughed a little. Oye.
I have all my equipment in the garage.. it's just too cold out to spin.
I probably wouldn't even be able to catch a hilt toss very strong. All the muscle in my arms has evaporated. I need to start working on my arms and legs. My dancers' thighs are diminishing. I was so proud of them too. I had killer thighs. My calves could use some work, I suppose. But they still look decent. The whole ab area is a lost cause. I don't care enough to do sit-ups. I just want my arms and legs toned.
Work was really busy today. Everyone was teasing me and Ben. They all act middle schoolers. It didn't bother me, I've long since stopped caring what anybody has to say.
I feel a bit down today. I really need to talk to someone soon. I need to get these things out. I don't care if I can't really trust anyone completely, and I don't care if it does more harm than good. I need to get it out of my head.
Oh but it's so hard. I never have a real chance to just sit down and talk to people like that. I've always felt uncomfortable talking to people. Even with close friends, I feel weird going to them and just being like, oh hey, by the way! Remember when I pretend that everything was okay? Well, yeah, see what really was happening was this. But I was too stupid and weak and overpowered to do anything and I didn't trust you at the time so I didn't tell you and now I feel like my head is a spinning vortex of horrible memories. Want to comfort me? Yeah. Don't think so.
Oh, maybe some day I'll tell someone everything.
Maybe I'll just write a book...
Oh yeah. I looked at my Shakespeare calendar. The day-by-day one. It's (ironically) stuck on August 19/20. I saw it and laughed a little. Oye.