Fans Gone Wild
I was originally going to do thoughts on baby!fic, but it seems that
foibles_fables is out of town and may/may not have internet access, so I'm leaving that for another day (yes, Lexie, I'd rather wait until you're back =)).
Instead, I'm doing something different. A situation has arisen with someone on my flist (that first gave me great lulz) which is related to a topic that I was eventually going to bring up (actually, it's the EXACT thing I was going to bring up), so I figured I'd do it now since it's relevant. It really only applies to people who have either a) just discovered the fandom, or b) just discovered you.
Let's talk about our lovely fans, shall we? I'm going to be referencing this essay/article, My Boundaries, Let Me Show You Them, by Dr. Merlin.
Sometimes they show up in hordes, other times, it's a select few. These are the people who make or break us. They read, they review, they adore. And it's beyond enthralling to hear that someone somewhere liked your stuff. Your stuff, the words you put in a particular order to describe this specific thing in that precise way for that sole situation. They liked it. And really, we can't be thankful enough that they did. There's nothing better for a writer.
99.9% of them are awesome people, some who might become closest friends. But. There's always that one fan who gets a little too crazy. A little clingy, if you will. The concept of personal space then gets destroyed into oblivion for this singular fan. They constantly message you, profess their love on every one of your journal entries, and want to be your bestest buddy in the whole wide world. Who can blame them? Who doesn't want to be best friends with the people they admire and hero worship?
Here is where I quote from Dr. Merlin:
Don't assume the person on the other end of the Ethernet cable is your soulmate. No, really. Not even if she's that cool. Not even if he's the first person you've ever met who had the same jump-for-joy response you do for this particular aspect of this particular series...That doesn't make her/him your soulmate. It makes him/her a fellow fan who likes to chat about fandom. Ditto for Best Friends Forever. Just because this is the first time you've ever met anyone really this far into fandom who is this cool of a fan does not mean you are the first person s/he has met with the same criteria...Telling someone you think they're your soulmate is crossing a big boundary. So is convincing yourself that the person is your very best friend and that you're theirs. Unless they've been here before and know the signs...you're going to seriously freak him/her out.
Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in. It's kind of a harsh way to put it, I know, but it gets the point across. Writers love to know the readers (there's no writer I know that doesn't), and we love to talk about our ships, characters, plots, basically anything and everything about our show. And we'll talk about it to anyone who's willing to lend an ear. Really. However, it doesn't mean Author X thinks you're their best friend. Again, really. And it sucks, and you might be depressed after reading this, but it's like any other friendship in the real world. You wouldn't throw yourself at someone you just met, would you? Exactly.
Here's a secret: fanthings are simple creatures. When you say you like our fanfic, we hear: "You liked my fanfic!" When you say you want our phone numbers so we can cowrite a story, we hear: "I want to cowrite a story with you." When you use these words to mean: "I want to convince you to be my best friend / to have sex with me," we get testy and upset.
That's really how we see your words. Personal boundaries exist in cyberspace as much as they exist in Real Life. People like their bubble. Respect it. Yes, I understand you want to talk to us 24/7/365 and pick our brain apart (I would LOVE to do that myself to certain people), but give us a chance to breathe every so often. We want to get to know you. Really, we do. It's just that some of us have antisocial tendencies or are emotionally inept, and we scare easily. You have to tone down the adoration and ease into the friendship. Give us time to get used to you.
Lastly:
Be yourself.
Corny as that is, it's true. Like you, we're here to make friends. And, really, when you think about it...why would you want us to be friends with someone other than you? Wouldn't be it cooler if we liked you for who you are? Chances are, we will =)
I suck at conclusions, so...yeah.
ETA: Just wanted to add that no one on my flist is like this! I love you all.
Penny for your thoughts?
foibles_fables is out of town and may/may not have internet access, so I'm leaving that for another day (yes, Lexie, I'd rather wait until you're back =)).
Instead, I'm doing something different. A situation has arisen with someone on my flist (that first gave me great lulz) which is related to a topic that I was eventually going to bring up (actually, it's the EXACT thing I was going to bring up), so I figured I'd do it now since it's relevant. It really only applies to people who have either a) just discovered the fandom, or b) just discovered you.
Let's talk about our lovely fans, shall we? I'm going to be referencing this essay/article, My Boundaries, Let Me Show You Them, by Dr. Merlin.
Sometimes they show up in hordes, other times, it's a select few. These are the people who make or break us. They read, they review, they adore. And it's beyond enthralling to hear that someone somewhere liked your stuff. Your stuff, the words you put in a particular order to describe this specific thing in that precise way for that sole situation. They liked it. And really, we can't be thankful enough that they did. There's nothing better for a writer.
99.9% of them are awesome people, some who might become closest friends. But. There's always that one fan who gets a little too crazy. A little clingy, if you will. The concept of personal space then gets destroyed into oblivion for this singular fan. They constantly message you, profess their love on every one of your journal entries, and want to be your bestest buddy in the whole wide world. Who can blame them? Who doesn't want to be best friends with the people they admire and hero worship?
Here is where I quote from Dr. Merlin:
Don't assume the person on the other end of the Ethernet cable is your soulmate. No, really. Not even if she's that cool. Not even if he's the first person you've ever met who had the same jump-for-joy response you do for this particular aspect of this particular series...That doesn't make her/him your soulmate. It makes him/her a fellow fan who likes to chat about fandom. Ditto for Best Friends Forever. Just because this is the first time you've ever met anyone really this far into fandom who is this cool of a fan does not mean you are the first person s/he has met with the same criteria...Telling someone you think they're your soulmate is crossing a big boundary. So is convincing yourself that the person is your very best friend and that you're theirs. Unless they've been here before and know the signs...you're going to seriously freak him/her out.
Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in. It's kind of a harsh way to put it, I know, but it gets the point across. Writers love to know the readers (there's no writer I know that doesn't), and we love to talk about our ships, characters, plots, basically anything and everything about our show. And we'll talk about it to anyone who's willing to lend an ear. Really. However, it doesn't mean Author X thinks you're their best friend. Again, really. And it sucks, and you might be depressed after reading this, but it's like any other friendship in the real world. You wouldn't throw yourself at someone you just met, would you? Exactly.
Here's a secret: fanthings are simple creatures. When you say you like our fanfic, we hear: "You liked my fanfic!" When you say you want our phone numbers so we can cowrite a story, we hear: "I want to cowrite a story with you." When you use these words to mean: "I want to convince you to be my best friend / to have sex with me," we get testy and upset.
That's really how we see your words. Personal boundaries exist in cyberspace as much as they exist in Real Life. People like their bubble. Respect it. Yes, I understand you want to talk to us 24/7/365 and pick our brain apart (I would LOVE to do that myself to certain people), but give us a chance to breathe every so often. We want to get to know you. Really, we do. It's just that some of us have antisocial tendencies or are emotionally inept, and we scare easily. You have to tone down the adoration and ease into the friendship. Give us time to get used to you.
Lastly:
Be yourself.
Corny as that is, it's true. Like you, we're here to make friends. And, really, when you think about it...why would you want us to be friends with someone other than you? Wouldn't be it cooler if we liked you for who you are? Chances are, we will =)
I suck at conclusions, so...yeah.
ETA: Just wanted to add that no one on my flist is like this! I love you all.
Penny for your thoughts?