New Place... New People... pretty overwhelming!
So I moved to a new place... eerything's different, yet same. That doesn't make any sense, does it?So, my so called determination to regularly update my journal took a big hit... Call it sloppiness or laziness or whatever, but, like I mentioned before life is pretty mundane. I am not one of those people for whom life "happens" everyday, if you get my drift. We have a regular life, a "bio-regularis" (Yeah, I made that up)
Friendship to me, is like a Tree
,;*"*;,
;* *;
*; % ;*
__)(__
It isn't measured on how Tall it could be; but on how deep the roots have grown in the HEART
This is an ASCII art that I received on my phone... and for some reason, its meaning hit me with such a impact, pushing me into introspection. Something which is a rarity in my case. My parents, brother and friends all insist on introspection... the whole "sitting in a corner, thinking out stuff" scenario. But somehow, I never really got the hang of it... being that my self (or is that conscience?) was at continuous war with my other self (OK, that really didn't make sense, did it?) But hey, you know what I mean. So with those "selves" at constant war, I found the whole thing way too tedious.
But, having lived for nearly quarter of a century, having passed those so called "difficult" stages of adolescence, and now standing at the threshold of adulthood, the time has come for me to introspect. Cuz' here's where it all starts... baby steps, Caroline, I remind myself. I am about to take those first steps, into the world of adulthood. And believe me, its a frightening prospect. But its also wonderful. Hmmm... Frightening. Wonderful. How often does one come across a sentence that has both those words?
I feel uncertain and a tad insecure...
Its almost like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, with a bungee rope tied around my feet. All those around me egging me on, assuring me that it'd be fine. But how far can I trust a rope? Aren't ropes known to snap? On the other hand, there is this thrill of the free fall, the wind rushing through your hair, the pure exhilaration and anticipation as you near the surface of the water and then you are pulled back onto terra- firma. And finally, the aftermath, where you can't believe what you just did, and when the realization sinks in, that you really did do it, the happiness and relief that courses through your body.
Now I know what you're going to ask me, how did something as simple as an ASCII Art, push me into a soul-searching mission???
That's where the whole friendship thing comes in. To a person about to take a plunge into the unknown, there has got to be some moral backing, some impetus, some forces that keep you going. The first of these is my unwavering belief in God... I'll delve into this aspect when I see fit. The next is my parents' and brother's unconditional love and support... another aspect, which will be dissected later. And the final, BUT DEFINITELY NOT THE LEAST, are my friends.
Now, that little art, compares friendship with a tree... A tree? Sure, now that's very odd, isn't?? We know what a tree looks like... heck, we see trees everyday. In fact they are so much a part of our world, that we have ceased to notice them... now that's a paradox isn't? What I'm basically saying is that we take trees for granted... just as we do, more often than not, our friends... sad, but true.
That once again brings us back to introspection... Am I taking MY friends for granted? Have I got so used to having them around, that I have started getting complacent... Oh dear God, I sure hope not. Because I did once and the outcome was not so pleasant. It wasn't until my friend left town, that I realized what a big part of my life she was... so much so, that for the first few weeks after she left, I literally cried myself to sleep. She was, I realized, the tree that I had planted in my garden. In the early stages, our friendship was like a sapling... it needed its water and nourishment from us... so we provided it... getting to know each other in a way that only children can. Playing games that only we knew how to play. Sharing things that we never shared with others. It was our own little brand of Friendship. The "Carol and Chris" brand of Friendship. It was special. It was different. It was wonderful. It still is...
So the little sapling had grown into a tree... its roots deep in our hearts and its leaves and branches, out in the open for everyone to see. But still it was a tree... and we began to take it for granted. We had become so blended into the fabric of each others' lives, that any loose threads left us feeling insecure and yes, I'll say it, bitter. Bitterness is never good for a friendship. It was that if anything happened in my life that did not involve her, or if anything happened in her life that did not involve me, it led to bitter accusations of not wanting each other in our lives anymore, of getting tired of our friendship, of moving on without waiting for the other, of betrayal... the words that we exchanged would have made the sun rise in the west instead of the east. Neither of us, we realized, wanted to accept change. But change is a way of life, and we both learned it the hard way... and now we feel even more secure in our friendship when we realized that even though the branches of our tree molted, the spring always brought in new leaves and flowers and our tree still remains beautiful, ever-changing, but beautiful all the same and strong as ever.
Friendship to me, is like a Tree
,;*"*;,
;* *;
*; % ;*
__)(__
It isn't measured on how Tall it could be; but on how deep the roots have grown in the HEART
This is an ASCII art that I received on my phone... and for some reason, its meaning hit me with such a impact, pushing me into introspection. Something which is a rarity in my case. My parents, brother and friends all insist on introspection... the whole "sitting in a corner, thinking out stuff" scenario. But somehow, I never really got the hang of it... being that my self (or is that conscience?) was at continuous war with my other self (OK, that really didn't make sense, did it?) But hey, you know what I mean. So with those "selves" at constant war, I found the whole thing way too tedious.
But, having lived for nearly quarter of a century, having passed those so called "difficult" stages of adolescence, and now standing at the threshold of adulthood, the time has come for me to introspect. Cuz' here's where it all starts... baby steps, Caroline, I remind myself. I am about to take those first steps, into the world of adulthood. And believe me, its a frightening prospect. But its also wonderful. Hmmm... Frightening. Wonderful. How often does one come across a sentence that has both those words?
I feel uncertain and a tad insecure...
Its almost like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, with a bungee rope tied around my feet. All those around me egging me on, assuring me that it'd be fine. But how far can I trust a rope? Aren't ropes known to snap? On the other hand, there is this thrill of the free fall, the wind rushing through your hair, the pure exhilaration and anticipation as you near the surface of the water and then you are pulled back onto terra- firma. And finally, the aftermath, where you can't believe what you just did, and when the realization sinks in, that you really did do it, the happiness and relief that courses through your body.
Now I know what you're going to ask me, how did something as simple as an ASCII Art, push me into a soul-searching mission???
That's where the whole friendship thing comes in. To a person about to take a plunge into the unknown, there has got to be some moral backing, some impetus, some forces that keep you going. The first of these is my unwavering belief in God... I'll delve into this aspect when I see fit. The next is my parents' and brother's unconditional love and support... another aspect, which will be dissected later. And the final, BUT DEFINITELY NOT THE LEAST, are my friends.
Now, that little art, compares friendship with a tree... A tree? Sure, now that's very odd, isn't?? We know what a tree looks like... heck, we see trees everyday. In fact they are so much a part of our world, that we have ceased to notice them... now that's a paradox isn't? What I'm basically saying is that we take trees for granted... just as we do, more often than not, our friends... sad, but true.
That once again brings us back to introspection... Am I taking MY friends for granted? Have I got so used to having them around, that I have started getting complacent... Oh dear God, I sure hope not. Because I did once and the outcome was not so pleasant. It wasn't until my friend left town, that I realized what a big part of my life she was... so much so, that for the first few weeks after she left, I literally cried myself to sleep. She was, I realized, the tree that I had planted in my garden. In the early stages, our friendship was like a sapling... it needed its water and nourishment from us... so we provided it... getting to know each other in a way that only children can. Playing games that only we knew how to play. Sharing things that we never shared with others. It was our own little brand of Friendship. The "Carol and Chris" brand of Friendship. It was special. It was different. It was wonderful. It still is...
So the little sapling had grown into a tree... its roots deep in our hearts and its leaves and branches, out in the open for everyone to see. But still it was a tree... and we began to take it for granted. We had become so blended into the fabric of each others' lives, that any loose threads left us feeling insecure and yes, I'll say it, bitter. Bitterness is never good for a friendship. It was that if anything happened in my life that did not involve her, or if anything happened in her life that did not involve me, it led to bitter accusations of not wanting each other in our lives anymore, of getting tired of our friendship, of moving on without waiting for the other, of betrayal... the words that we exchanged would have made the sun rise in the west instead of the east. Neither of us, we realized, wanted to accept change. But change is a way of life, and we both learned it the hard way... and now we feel even more secure in our friendship when we realized that even though the branches of our tree molted, the spring always brought in new leaves and flowers and our tree still remains beautiful, ever-changing, but beautiful all the same and strong as ever.