Just a few letters.
Dear Wild Republic;
I am an avid advocate of your Cuddlekins line of stuffed toys, and collect them not only for myself, but for others. Seriously, I try not to admit how many of these things I've purchased over the last several years, but it's a not-inconsiderable number. Most of my purchases have been from your various and sundry dinosaur lines. That being said, how come Europe gets Pachycephalosaurus and Parasaurolophus, and we don't? With the dollar as weak against the pound as it currently is, I can't justify importing dinosaurs, and so I turn to you, my normal supplier of such things, and demand that you make these beautiful creatures available to me here as well as there.
Please? I have a lot of carnivores, and very few herbivores. I'm beginning to fear for my life every time I crawl into my bed. Only you can save me from the velociraptor army.
***
Dear San Francisco Borders;
Kudos to you for having the widest selection of Permuted Press books that I have ever seen on any store's shelves. Even the specialty shops don't usually have this many! (Permuted Press is a small press specializing in high quality horror fiction, with a focus on zombies and the non-vampiric undead. It's a niche market, but it's a comfortable one.) It's been a long time since I've had that much unexpected trouble leaving a book store with my budget intact. Kudos to you, San Francisco Borders!
Keep up the good work!
***
Dear whoever is currently in charge of the My Little Pony line;
What in the hell made you think that narrowing the product line to six 'core characters' was a good idea? Are you high? The appeal of the My Little Pony world was always that there was essentially a limitless number of Ponies to collect. Little girls aren't dumb enough to want twenty copies of the same plastic horse. Ponies and Barbies aren't interchangeable like that.
***
Dear Diet Dr Pepper;
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Love,
Me.
I am an avid advocate of your Cuddlekins line of stuffed toys, and collect them not only for myself, but for others. Seriously, I try not to admit how many of these things I've purchased over the last several years, but it's a not-inconsiderable number. Most of my purchases have been from your various and sundry dinosaur lines. That being said, how come Europe gets Pachycephalosaurus and Parasaurolophus, and we don't? With the dollar as weak against the pound as it currently is, I can't justify importing dinosaurs, and so I turn to you, my normal supplier of such things, and demand that you make these beautiful creatures available to me here as well as there.
Please? I have a lot of carnivores, and very few herbivores. I'm beginning to fear for my life every time I crawl into my bed. Only you can save me from the velociraptor army.
***
Dear San Francisco Borders;
Kudos to you for having the widest selection of Permuted Press books that I have ever seen on any store's shelves. Even the specialty shops don't usually have this many! (Permuted Press is a small press specializing in high quality horror fiction, with a focus on zombies and the non-vampiric undead. It's a niche market, but it's a comfortable one.) It's been a long time since I've had that much unexpected trouble leaving a book store with my budget intact. Kudos to you, San Francisco Borders!
Keep up the good work!
***
Dear whoever is currently in charge of the My Little Pony line;
What in the hell made you think that narrowing the product line to six 'core characters' was a good idea? Are you high? The appeal of the My Little Pony world was always that there was essentially a limitless number of Ponies to collect. Little girls aren't dumb enough to want twenty copies of the same plastic horse. Ponies and Barbies aren't interchangeable like that.
***
Dear Diet Dr Pepper;
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Love,
Me.