A letter to the dicks on this morning's commute.
Dear new people suddenly swarming my morning commute;
Hello, and welcome to the public transit system! Yes, I realize it's dirty. Yes, I realize it's inconvenient. Yes, I realize that man over there looks like he hasn't bathed in a week. Yes, there is a woman in the wheelchair on the train. Yes, I'm reading a bad horror novel with a dead guy on the cover. Yes, there are some people of clearly Middle Eastern descent riding together in that four-seat square over there. Although all of these sentiments were expressed during my commute this morning, I have to note, to the woman who expressed horror over the nice gentlemen...I doubt they were terrorists, and if they were, I sincerely doubt they're intending to follow you home. But it's nice that you have such a high opinion of yourself!
I realize that change is hard, and that many of you have been driven to do things you would never have done voluntarily by the rising price of fuel. I understand. Honestly, I don't want you on my train any more than you want to be there. It's people like you who have reliably voted against improving our public transit system, leaving us with high prices and fewer vehicles than we need, and I really don't want to share my already-too-small train with people who think nothing of being judgmental assholes. Sure, we're all judgmental assholes sometimes -- you could argue that I'm doing it right now -- but I'm not doing it verbally, in public, loudly enough to be heard over people's iPods. Subtlety: you're doin' it wrong.
Our transit system needs your dollars and our roads need your car to stay home in the garage. I'm willing to bet that your wallet needs you to do the same. That being said, if you can't be polite to your fellow passengers, or at least keep your nasty, spiteful little thoughts inside your head where they belong, I would appreciate it if you took a different train. We can designate one 'The Asshole Express', and you can have it all to yourselves.
No love,
Me.
Hello, and welcome to the public transit system! Yes, I realize it's dirty. Yes, I realize it's inconvenient. Yes, I realize that man over there looks like he hasn't bathed in a week. Yes, there is a woman in the wheelchair on the train. Yes, I'm reading a bad horror novel with a dead guy on the cover. Yes, there are some people of clearly Middle Eastern descent riding together in that four-seat square over there. Although all of these sentiments were expressed during my commute this morning, I have to note, to the woman who expressed horror over the nice gentlemen...I doubt they were terrorists, and if they were, I sincerely doubt they're intending to follow you home. But it's nice that you have such a high opinion of yourself!
I realize that change is hard, and that many of you have been driven to do things you would never have done voluntarily by the rising price of fuel. I understand. Honestly, I don't want you on my train any more than you want to be there. It's people like you who have reliably voted against improving our public transit system, leaving us with high prices and fewer vehicles than we need, and I really don't want to share my already-too-small train with people who think nothing of being judgmental assholes. Sure, we're all judgmental assholes sometimes -- you could argue that I'm doing it right now -- but I'm not doing it verbally, in public, loudly enough to be heard over people's iPods. Subtlety: you're doin' it wrong.
Our transit system needs your dollars and our roads need your car to stay home in the garage. I'm willing to bet that your wallet needs you to do the same. That being said, if you can't be polite to your fellow passengers, or at least keep your nasty, spiteful little thoughts inside your head where they belong, I would appreciate it if you took a different train. We can designate one 'The Asshole Express', and you can have it all to yourselves.
No love,
Me.