Creepy-ass birdie.
I bought a birdie yesterday.
Matt and his girlfriend picked me up from the Walnut Creek BART Station (where I was watching the pigeons mob people for food), and we drove down to the Salvation Army on Treat, looking for a white men's dress shirt that was large enough for me to use as part of my strip routine this weekend.
We didn't find the shirt -- Matt's loaning me one -- but I did find a stuffed red-tail hawk puppet in the toy bins. His name is David. He's one creepy-ass birdie. He has leather talons and a leather beak, from which is dangling a stuffed dead king snake (very, very dead king snake). And since he's a puppet, you can stick him on your hand and flap his wings and move his head so that he glares balefully at people. Much niftiness.
He cost two dollars. Can you say 'no brainer'?
This is the sort of bird that you just know belonged to some eight year old boy who delighted in terrorizing his younger sister and his mother with the Leather Talons of Death. David was probably chucked in the donations bin the second his owner went away to summer camp. Picture that homecoming...
"Mom, where's David?"
"He, uh, flew away, Bobby..."
So that's David, my creepy-ass birdie. He's going to hang from my bedroom ceiling, I think, making the place look even more like a teenage girl's room gone mental. Yay.
(And yes, he's named after Roland's hawk from the 'Dark Tower' series. It fits. And he's a very pretty birdie.)
Matt and his girlfriend picked me up from the Walnut Creek BART Station (where I was watching the pigeons mob people for food), and we drove down to the Salvation Army on Treat, looking for a white men's dress shirt that was large enough for me to use as part of my strip routine this weekend.
We didn't find the shirt -- Matt's loaning me one -- but I did find a stuffed red-tail hawk puppet in the toy bins. His name is David. He's one creepy-ass birdie. He has leather talons and a leather beak, from which is dangling a stuffed dead king snake (very, very dead king snake). And since he's a puppet, you can stick him on your hand and flap his wings and move his head so that he glares balefully at people. Much niftiness.
He cost two dollars. Can you say 'no brainer'?
This is the sort of bird that you just know belonged to some eight year old boy who delighted in terrorizing his younger sister and his mother with the Leather Talons of Death. David was probably chucked in the donations bin the second his owner went away to summer camp. Picture that homecoming...
"Mom, where's David?"
"He, uh, flew away, Bobby..."
So that's David, my creepy-ass birdie. He's going to hang from my bedroom ceiling, I think, making the place look even more like a teenage girl's room gone mental. Yay.
(And yes, he's named after Roland's hawk from the 'Dark Tower' series. It fits. And he's a very pretty birdie.)