In which there is BPAL, and reviewing of same.
I continue my slow wade through the murky wilds of the Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, having tested two more new-to-me scents -- Hollywood Babylon, from the general collection, and Bad Luck Woman Blues, from the April 07 Friday the 13th collection. I also have a minor addendum on Monster Bait: Underbed. Because I believe in oversharing.
Monster Bait: Underbed.
So remember how last time I said I'd give it 6 out of 10, but that it didn't last very long? That was before I realized that the strange alchemy of skin would, over a period of eight to ten hours, turn it from something light, flirty and fun into pure, undoctored suntan lotion. I've got to re-rank this one as 4 out of 10; pleasant enough for some people, I'm sure, but absolutely not for me.
Hollywood Babylon.
What the Lab says: The essence of innocence shattered: glittering Egyptian amber and heliotrope, infused with the sweetness of strawberry and vanilla -- dragged into debauch by lusty red musk and a dribble of black cherry.
What I say: Yet another rose scent which lies to me, brazenly and malicious aforethought, by smelling like pure, unadulterated perfection in the vial, all roses and cream and glittering, spicy excitement. It's like a miraculous mixture of Snow White and Anubis, minus the notes implying 'massive blizzard' and 'lots of dead stuff', and I very much wanted to be completely in love with it. Not only because I have yet to find a GC rose which a) actually works on me and b) doesn't have 'dirt' as one of its foundational notes. Full of optimism, I put it on.
On my skin, the rose and vanilla took a brief, valiant stand against the musk and amber, but were sadly cut down in the prime of their lives, trampled into the muck of artificial-smelling fruit scents. The fake fruit managed to hold its ground for most of the dry-down process, before the musk kicked its ass, threw the amber to the curb, and settled down to smelling like floral cat urine. It would have been impressive, if it hadn't been for the part where it was on my skin and refusing to get off. I realize there are people on whom the musk would have transformed into the very nectar of the gods, attracting the movie star of their choice. On me, it was elixir of bad B-movie, and I'm lucky the creature from the Black Lagoon didn't show up.
On the plus side, musk has no staying power on me, so the evil went away before I had to walk past any creepy abandoned farmhouses, cornfields, or other locations likely to attract the kind of leading man the Hollywood Babylon was crying out for. On the negative side, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon smelling like evil. Yeeeeeeeeah, no. Perhaps I should stop applying things that have musk in them. Or buy myself a chainsaw for when the serial killers show up.
My score: 2 out of 10. IT LIED TO ME. It said it would smell nice, and it LIED.
Bad Luck Woman Blues.
What the Lab says: Keep that bad luck woman away with a blend of Spanish moss, black pepper, mullein, sweet sage, vandal root, cypress, cigar tobacco, and a puff of goofer dust cloaked by a swarthy cologne of vetiver, lime, dark musk, caramel accord, and lilac.
What I say: In the vial, this has a lot in common with my dearly-beloved Red Lantern, which is probably a consequence of the caramel and tobacco...but at the same time, it's sharper, richer, with a sort of dusky undertone that just makes it infinitely appealing. It smells like running through the bayou at midnight, like dancing in an earth-walled basement and calling for the universe to do your bidding, like secrets, like smirking and shame.
On my skin, the initial impression is 'Red Lantern, only dirtier'. This lasted for about five minutes before the lime curb-stomped all the rest of the notes, grabbed the pepper by the hair, and declared that it was taking its concubine to the bedroom for a little well-earned relaxation. That means it let its guard down, and tobacco joined forces with caramel, cypress, vetiver and goofer dust, kicked the living crap out of lime, fed it to the alligators, rescued pepper, and became MADE OF AWESOME.
Seriously. I haven't loved something this much on first go in ages. It is sex. It is sweet caramel seduction made gritty and damp by the hot swamp air. It is passionate perfection, and it has thus far lasted for seven hours without fading. What's more, the darker notes tone the sweetness enough to make this a very adult perfume. Made of win. Made of pure win. I'm gonna need a bottle.
My score: 10 out of 10. Although I gotta wonder if anyone told the folks at the Lab what goofer dust is actually for...
Monster Bait: Underbed.
So remember how last time I said I'd give it 6 out of 10, but that it didn't last very long? That was before I realized that the strange alchemy of skin would, over a period of eight to ten hours, turn it from something light, flirty and fun into pure, undoctored suntan lotion. I've got to re-rank this one as 4 out of 10; pleasant enough for some people, I'm sure, but absolutely not for me.
Hollywood Babylon.
What the Lab says: The essence of innocence shattered: glittering Egyptian amber and heliotrope, infused with the sweetness of strawberry and vanilla -- dragged into debauch by lusty red musk and a dribble of black cherry.
What I say: Yet another rose scent which lies to me, brazenly and malicious aforethought, by smelling like pure, unadulterated perfection in the vial, all roses and cream and glittering, spicy excitement. It's like a miraculous mixture of Snow White and Anubis, minus the notes implying 'massive blizzard' and 'lots of dead stuff', and I very much wanted to be completely in love with it. Not only because I have yet to find a GC rose which a) actually works on me and b) doesn't have 'dirt' as one of its foundational notes. Full of optimism, I put it on.
On my skin, the rose and vanilla took a brief, valiant stand against the musk and amber, but were sadly cut down in the prime of their lives, trampled into the muck of artificial-smelling fruit scents. The fake fruit managed to hold its ground for most of the dry-down process, before the musk kicked its ass, threw the amber to the curb, and settled down to smelling like floral cat urine. It would have been impressive, if it hadn't been for the part where it was on my skin and refusing to get off. I realize there are people on whom the musk would have transformed into the very nectar of the gods, attracting the movie star of their choice. On me, it was elixir of bad B-movie, and I'm lucky the creature from the Black Lagoon didn't show up.
On the plus side, musk has no staying power on me, so the evil went away before I had to walk past any creepy abandoned farmhouses, cornfields, or other locations likely to attract the kind of leading man the Hollywood Babylon was crying out for. On the negative side, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon smelling like evil. Yeeeeeeeeah, no. Perhaps I should stop applying things that have musk in them. Or buy myself a chainsaw for when the serial killers show up.
My score: 2 out of 10. IT LIED TO ME. It said it would smell nice, and it LIED.
Bad Luck Woman Blues.
What the Lab says: Keep that bad luck woman away with a blend of Spanish moss, black pepper, mullein, sweet sage, vandal root, cypress, cigar tobacco, and a puff of goofer dust cloaked by a swarthy cologne of vetiver, lime, dark musk, caramel accord, and lilac.
What I say: In the vial, this has a lot in common with my dearly-beloved Red Lantern, which is probably a consequence of the caramel and tobacco...but at the same time, it's sharper, richer, with a sort of dusky undertone that just makes it infinitely appealing. It smells like running through the bayou at midnight, like dancing in an earth-walled basement and calling for the universe to do your bidding, like secrets, like smirking and shame.
On my skin, the initial impression is 'Red Lantern, only dirtier'. This lasted for about five minutes before the lime curb-stomped all the rest of the notes, grabbed the pepper by the hair, and declared that it was taking its concubine to the bedroom for a little well-earned relaxation. That means it let its guard down, and tobacco joined forces with caramel, cypress, vetiver and goofer dust, kicked the living crap out of lime, fed it to the alligators, rescued pepper, and became MADE OF AWESOME.
Seriously. I haven't loved something this much on first go in ages. It is sex. It is sweet caramel seduction made gritty and damp by the hot swamp air. It is passionate perfection, and it has thus far lasted for seven hours without fading. What's more, the darker notes tone the sweetness enough to make this a very adult perfume. Made of win. Made of pure win. I'm gonna need a bottle.
My score: 10 out of 10. Although I gotta wonder if anyone told the folks at the Lab what goofer dust is actually for...