Fucking Finally
So.... I have been really stressed out. Mega stressed out. Uber Mega stressed out. All people can say to me is "calm down". Well fuck. Thanks for solving all my problems. If I would have thought of that I would have been fine! :|
Problem is.. I have been sick off and on for a long time. Throwing up.. extreme nausea ( resulted in a hospital trip ), constant headaches and I had a cold I just couldnt get rid of for 3 weeks. Well it seems obvious now that its all related to the extreme stress, but during all that.. all I could think of was that it was my medicine or that I had bad allergies. I knew Leon was getting tired of it, I could feel that when i didnt feel good he would dismiss it as a normal thing, not remembering that when I say that.. I really really really dont feel good. A few weeks ago.. even my eye started twitching. I would explain all the things im stressed over but I cant. I found that out yesterday. I started Therapy and I told the doctor that I feel tension constantly. He asked what my stress was from. I started to go through it.. and when I got to the end... I puked. My hands were sweating, my body got flaming hot, I started to sweat, the water started coming up in my mouth... and then... bamm. I puked into his trash can with no liner. Of course we started discussing medicine.
This morning I went to the regular doctor. I started to talk about it again.. and I said.. "Look my hands are starting to get sweaty just telling you" he said "say no more". Even typing this out I start to get hot and I feel like I want to cry.
So now I take buspar 2x a day. Its a form of tranq like xanax but it doesnt have that crazy knock you out on your ass with a hangover that xanax has. It will help take the edge off so I can control the panic attacks again.
It all sounds bad.. but really.. I am just so greatful that I finally figured out why im fucking sick all the time.
( btw... a twitching eyelid is the most annoying fucking thing EVER )
Problem is.. I have been sick off and on for a long time. Throwing up.. extreme nausea ( resulted in a hospital trip ), constant headaches and I had a cold I just couldnt get rid of for 3 weeks. Well it seems obvious now that its all related to the extreme stress, but during all that.. all I could think of was that it was my medicine or that I had bad allergies. I knew Leon was getting tired of it, I could feel that when i didnt feel good he would dismiss it as a normal thing, not remembering that when I say that.. I really really really dont feel good. A few weeks ago.. even my eye started twitching. I would explain all the things im stressed over but I cant. I found that out yesterday. I started Therapy and I told the doctor that I feel tension constantly. He asked what my stress was from. I started to go through it.. and when I got to the end... I puked. My hands were sweating, my body got flaming hot, I started to sweat, the water started coming up in my mouth... and then... bamm. I puked into his trash can with no liner. Of course we started discussing medicine.
This morning I went to the regular doctor. I started to talk about it again.. and I said.. "Look my hands are starting to get sweaty just telling you" he said "say no more". Even typing this out I start to get hot and I feel like I want to cry.
So now I take buspar 2x a day. Its a form of tranq like xanax but it doesnt have that crazy knock you out on your ass with a hangover that xanax has. It will help take the edge off so I can control the panic attacks again.
It all sounds bad.. but really.. I am just so greatful that I finally figured out why im fucking sick all the time.
( btw... a twitching eyelid is the most annoying fucking thing EVER )