Glee| Bloodbuzz
There are moments when Kurt takes in Blaine leaning against his locker waiting for him or the small park near his house or the mail box that his father and Finn painted red because they thought it would make it more friendly-looking and he knows that it’s not as though he won’t miss it all once he’ll be in New York.
The thought sneaks up on him more often now that graduation is approaching. It grabs his ankles and roots him on the spot at random moments, like when he is sitting in the canteen Blaine eating beside him, smiling and talking and he finds himself thinking that he won’t be there next year to feel the soft pressure of Blaine’s thigh against his own under the table.
He won’t be sitting in the choir room listening to Blaine as he sings- his eyes sparkling under the neon lights, his body vibrating with energy simmering right under the surface of his tanned skin.
It’s something new and unexpected, this thread linking him to Ohio now that he is about to leave. Of course leaving his father and Carol and Finn has its own weight but when it comes to Blaine it’s a completely different kind of story.
The thing is that before Blaine had sang his way into his heart that first day in Dalton’s common room, Kurt had thought that everything he had always dreamed of- success and love and sheer happiness- would greet him once he would be out there, in New York, surrounded by craziness and beauty and life.
But then Blaine was there, making him understand that he wasn’t alone, that he wasn’t the only one who had had to stitch his heart together. That he could make it for real. It’s not only gratefulness and it isn’t just affection. The more time passes the more Kurt knows that what he said for the first time that day at the Lima Bean after Nationals, those three small words, is true, so true that sometimes it’s scary for how big it is.
With Blaine by his side everything seems to have smoothed at the edges, the gentle brush of the back of their hands as they walk together in the halls drowns all the glares and the snickering. It’s as though nothing can touch him except for Blaine, with his huge eyes and gentle heart.
Sometimes Kurt hates himself a bit because at times he thinks he would be ready to throw everything away for Blaine, but that’s not the man he wanted to become, that’s not the Kurt he knows Blaine is proud of.
“I’m…I’m kind of scared about next year.”
Kurt slips his fingers through Blaine’s un-gelled curls. It feels grounding, warm and familiar and just what he has always needed.
Blaine tilts his head to look up at him.
“What brought this up now?”
Kurt lets his gaze linger briefly on the soft curve of Blaine’s lips.
“It’s just that graduation is closer now and I’ve always had the dream to leave this place, you know that, but now leaving Lima means leaving you and…”
Blaine’s brows furrow and Kurt wonders if he has said too much, if he has done this wrong. Then Blaine is pulling himself up from where he was leaning on Kurt’s chest and is gently cuping his face, his fingertips slowly tracing the lines of Kurt’s cheekbones.
“I’m not going to lie, of course it will be hard to remain here without you. But once you said you were never going to say goodbye to me. Do you remember that?”
Kurt nods and holds his breath waiting for Blaine to continue.
“Did you believe what you said?”
“Of course I did!”
A smile stretches Blaine’s lips and Kurt has to resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him.
“See? I don’t see where the problem is. Beside I’ll be there with you in a year.”
Kurt’s mind is flooded by images of them sharing a bed, a flat, morning kisses and late nights, holding hands in the street and dreaming with their eyes open. He is slightly breathless when he finally manages to speak.
“I can’t wait.”
Blaine brushes the tips of their noses together.
“Time will pass in a blink, baby.”
Kurt grins, still not used to the endearment.
“Time already doesn’t have much meaning when I’m with you, you know? Even this town doesn’t.”
Blaine smiles, his gaze impossibly warm and making Kurt’s breath stutter weirdly inside his lungs. He takes hold of Kurt’s hand and presses it over his heart.
“Wounds don’t matter neither.”
Kurt blinks back the tears that are threatening to fall and leans forward, pressing his lips against Blaine’s.
It’s soft and slow; it sends warmth spiraling around Kurt’s heart, settling there to stay.
In that moment, with Blaine’s tongue gently caressing his own, with his heart loosing rhythm, Kurt knows that whatever might happen, wherever he might be, Blaine’s warmth will always remain there, in that small place inside of him that anyone else managed to reach.
*
Blaine wakes up feeling heavy and broken, as if something landed on him while he was sleeping cracking his bones. The alarm clock’s digital numbers say that it’s 8 am; he’ll have to be at Kurt’s in a hour to go with him to the airport.
It’s different now that it is happening, sharper at the edges; it cuts through his palms when he tries to make sense of it. He has remained strong through all the summer, though, because Kurt deserved someone strong by his side.
He knows Kurt will try to smile, but it won’t reach his eyes; he knows he will feel responsible because Kurt wouldn’t have regrets if Blaine wasn’t there to be left behind.
It’s Kurt who opens the door; Blaine doesn’t even try to speak, he simply slides his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pulls him close. He buries his face in the crook of Kurt’s neck; he feels a bit ridiculous but he doesn’t want to let go, all that he wants is to hold on a little longer, surrounded by Kurt’s scent.
“Don’t let me go.”
Kurt’s voice is low and tender, Blaine’s throat already feels tighter.
“I will never let you go.”
A sudden exhale escapes Kurt’s lips and caresses Blaine’s ear. He presses a small kiss to Kurt’s shoulder before Burt gently clears his throat to let them know he is there.
The ride to the airport drags on in silence; Kurt holds Blaine’s hand the whole time and Blaine squeezes back trying to put everything he has in that old- it’s going to be alright, I’ll be there soon, I love you.
After having checked in and hugged his father, Carol and Finn, Kurt takes Blaine’s hand to pull him closer. Blaine doesn’t care about the people passing by, the only thing he cares about is the boy standing in front of him- his best friend, the only one who has wanted to look behind his cheerful façade, who has wanted to know all of him.
He kisses Kurt; it sends cascades of warmth skirting down his spine. When they pull apart, Kurt smiles, his eyes glossed by tears.
“I truly am never going to say goodbye to you.”
Blaine’s lips stretch in a watery smile.
“I know.”
*
Blaine is laying on his bed when his mobile phone vibrates on the nightstand.
From Kurt <3:
I’ve arrived safe and sound. I can feel you here with me.
Blaine smiles.
To Kurt <3:
It’s because I am there with you.
The End