Glee rpf| And we'll never be lonely anymore
Chris is positively sure that there are no words to describe how waking up beside Darren feels.
To look at him as he sleeps- curls scattered on the pillow, lips slightly parted and more often than not stretched in a small smile- is like looking at a dream. One of those he has nurtured through his years in high school, when he went to bed repeating to himself that he was going to make it out of Clovis, like a mantra.
The first night they slept together Darren curled against his side, an arm slung across his waist, and Chris blinked against the darkness of the room, his stuttering breaths mixing with Darren’s regular ones. The simple weight of Darren’s arm, the warmth radiating from his naked skin, crept up through Chris’ body, sinking deep, settling around his heart, curled like a sleeping cat. They remained there, the warmth and the gentleness, lulling Chris’ heart in a way that he had never expected.
Before Darren he has never been in love. Sure he was with other guys, he had crushes, but being with Darren is something completely different; it’s new and powerful and it keeps leaving him breathless.
Sometimes he thinks that the best way to describe the way he feels would be to say that he is standing on the edge of beauty, on his toes, his lungs full of air and his heart beating in time with the happiness twirling around him, sliding along his bones.
It’s in the way Darren smiles sleepily at him when he wakes up, in the way he takes Chris’ hand to pull him closer when they come back home after a long day of work. It’s in the way Darren’s tongue traces maps of unknown places on Chris’ skin, in the way he murmurs “I love you” like it’s a prayer or a beautiful secret.
Where there had been loneliness and longing, now there are Darren’s smiles, the post-its he leaves around the kitchen- smiley faces, hearts and bits of songs- Darren’s voice splashing through the flat as he sings. Sometimes it’s overwhelming, the cascade of sounds that has exploded in Chris’ life since Darren is in it.
Darren always says that it’s Chris who makes music bubble up inside him, who makes him want to write songs and play and just love. Chris never knows what to answer to that so he simply kisses Darren .
Once Chris came back home to find Darren sitting cross-legged on the couch holding his guitar. Darren smiled at him, warm and familiar and perfect, and told him to take a seat. When Chris complied he started playing. Chris blinked, his heart fluttering against the constraints of his ribcage. The song was about them, about the stolen glances and doubts at the beginning, about the courage to face their feelings, about the small bubble of domesticity they had found themselves into.
When the song ended Chris wished he could find the right words, but all that came tumbling past his lips was “God, I love you so much” just before he pressed his lips against Darren’s.
As he let his fingers trail over Darren’s ribcage he promised to himself that one day he would be able to write something for him, to find the right words.
It’s a Sunday morning when it happens.
Darren’s fingers are sliding gently up and down Chris’ spine and Chris is resting his head on Darren’s chest, the sound of his heartbeat twirling in his ear like a lullaby.
Darren starts to sing softly, each word vibrates through Chris’ body.
If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
Chris blinks and takes in a stuttering breath before propping himself up on his elbows.
“You alright, babe?”
Chris nods.
“It’s…I want to write something.”
Darren grins.
“That’s awesome!”
Chris smiles at Darren’s enthusiasm but then bites his lower lip.
“It’s…it’s for you.”
Darren’s eyes widen and Chris briefly wonders if it would be possible to drown into someone’s. Chris feels his cheeks grow hotter, but he finally knows what he wants to write and he can’t let this occasion slip.
“I’ll go to find some paper.”
Darren’s hand closes around his wrist, sending soft jolts of electricity racing along his veins.
“Write on me.”
Chris swallows.
“But Dare…”
“Please. There’s a pen on the nightstand.”
Chris’ heart slams against his ribcage at the breathlessness of Darren’s voice.
“Alright.”
The pen’s tip sinks a bit in the smooth and tanned skin of Darren’s stomach. Warmth unfurls inside of Chris at the sight of Darren’s muscles shifting.
When he is done he simply sits there, taking in his handwriting on Darren’s skin. For a foolish moment he wishes they were born in a universe where he would be able to write whole novels on his boyfriend’s body.
“Can…can I take a look now?”
Chris presses a small kiss right above Darren’s bellybutton before nodding. Darren stands up and pads over to the mirror.
“Chris…”
Chris lifts his gaze; Darren is looking at him, his eyes sparkling slightly.
“You…you like it?”
Darren doesn’t answer; in an instant Chris is lying on his back on the mattress, Darren’s lips brushing against his own as he speaks.
“I…sometimes what I feel for you is so much that I’m sure I’ve never been in love before.”
Something erupts right behind Chris’ heart; he is smiling when Darren closes the infinitesimal distance between them.
Hours later, as Darren is once again asleep, Chris trails his fingers over the letters he has written.
I exist in the space between our lips and hands. I live in our love.
Just a few months ago he would have found it cheesy, but right now, as Darren’s warmth gently tugs him towards unconsciousness, he is sure that nothing has ever been so true.
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