Title: Under white skies and soft blankets
Author: ca_te
Pairing: Blaine/Kurt
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter
Notes: story inspired by the movie "The Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind". Thanks to lovely
punkkitten2113 for the beta! <3
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".
Kurt taps his fingers against the steering wheel as some random song swims around in the car. He looks out of the window at Blaine’s apartment block; he tries to imagine how Blaine’s apartment looks like and a small part of him wishes that he could see it soon.
A smile stirs his lips without permission as Blaine opens the door and jogs down the stairs. He is wearing a bright blue coat that seems too big for him and is carrying an old woolen blanket. For the umpteenth time Kurt wonders where the hell they are going. He has tried questioning Blaine all day, sending text after text, but he has always changed the subject, talking about random costumers at the coffee shop or telling him to look up this or that song.
Before opening the car door Blaine knocks on the window and waves, a huge grin on his face and his hair a mess as always. Kurt waves back- he knows all too well that he wouldn’t have done something so apparently silly before meeting Blaine.
He waits for Blaine to climb inside and throw the blanket onto the backseat, before starting the engine.
“So, would you tell me where we’re going?”
Blaine tilts his head to the side.
“Well, hello to you too!”
Kurt is already starting to feel bad for not having said hello properly when Blaine chuckles.
“I was joking.”
His hand is warm over Kurt’s knee.
“We’re going to the Charles River!”
Kurt blinks.
“What? Are you kidding me? It’s like hours away.”
Blaine’s eyes sparkle with amusement.
“Oh, and you wouldn’t go on a small trip with me?”
He grins teasingly and Kurt has to smile. Somehow he already knew that it wasn’t easy to say no to Blaine, especially not when he was looking at him with those eyes.
“Alright, then. But you don’t get to choose the music.”
Kurt laughs at the indignant sound that escapes Blaine.
“But, Kuuurt! I’m the musician here, remember?”
“You’re also a barista, but I don’t see any mocha here for me.”
Blaine snorts out a laugh.
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I’ve been informed of it, yeah.”
Is then that Kurt realizes that Blaine’s hand is still on his knee, tracing lazy circles over the soft material of his trousers. The realization sends butterflies spiraling down his stomach; he grips the steering wheel a bit tighter.
The car ride is long but Blaine hums along with the radio and talks, about the places he would like to visit, and his glee club back in high school. As always he is all bundled up energy and big smiles, but there’s something more lurking under the surface of his shiny eyes, Kurt knows it deep inside and that’s what he wants to reach. He doesn’t know why but he needs to be closer to Blaine.
“And how was your school?”
Blaine is looking at him, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, and Kurt knows that he could lie, tell him that being in high school was a fantastic experience, but somehow- even though they’ve known each other for just a couple of weeks- he wants Blaine to know.
“Well, it was not a peaceful place, not for me at least.”
He can feel Blaine’s worried gaze on him and he tries to concentrate on the road in front of them.
“Did…did someone…”
Kurt sighs, knowing all too well that he has to finish telling this story.
“Yeah, some guys took up bullying me as their mission. It was…”
“You hated going back there, but you couldn’t let them win, right?”
Kurt needs to turn and to look at Blaine in the face, even though it means diverting his attention from the road ahead. Blaine’s eyes are darker than usual, his expression serious.
“You…it has happened to you too, right?”
Blaine nods and takes in a deep breath. Kurt decides that he doesn’t like it when Blaine is upset; it makes him want to hug him and to find and harm whoever has done something bad to him.
“It…they beat the crap out of me…my parents decided to enroll me in a private school. They were never...you know, alright with who I was, but they couldn’t let their son be beaten up anymore I guess.”
For a foolish instant Kurt wishes he could have grown up with Blaine, he wishes he could have been there to support him, to compensate the pain and the sadness. He knows he has been lucky to have his father by his side. He opens his mouth to speak, but Blaine is talking again.
“I think what you did was very brave. Remaining there, I mean, facing it all.”
Kurt swallows around the lump in his throat, because of course he had the New Directions by his side but he would have given up everything in the world to have someone like Blaine during those high school years- someone who could understand because they were alike.
“I…”
Blaine’s hand is back on his knee gently squeezing. Kurt blinks back the tears that had started to form and smiles when Blaine raises the volume and sings along with the radio.
*
“Blaine, are you crazy?”
Kurt holds his coat closer to his body and eyes Blaine as though he has grown a second head. Blaine simply smiles, snowflakes getting stuck in his curls and between his eyelashes.
“What? Is it the first time that you’ve done something like this?”
“Well, I admit that I’ve never gone walking on a frozen river, no.”
Blaine laughs and grabs Kurt’s hand pulling him along. Kurt realizes that they’ve never held hands before; Blaine’s skin is cold and dry. It feels good against his own.
He grips Blaine’s hand tighter as his feet slip over the frozen surface. It makes Kurt think about the time he went ice-skating with his mother- he was too small to remember every detail, but he remembers his mother’s hand, safe around his own.
“See? It’s not so bad, isn’t it?”
Kurt looks at Blaine in the darkness, but he can spot the small clouds forming in front of his lips as he speaks.
“Want to try standing on your own?”
Blaine starts to move away while Kurt tries to keep him close. In an instant he is hitting the frozen surface and letting out an undignified yelp. Blaine’s laughter fills the night all around them and Kurt almost doesn’t notice how cold the ice is underneath him. Blaine takes his hand and helps him to his feet- they stand in front of each other. The sound of his heart hitting his ribcage seems deafening to Kurt’s ears; he wonders if Blaine can hear it too.
Then Blaine is taking his other hand and pulling him gently, keeping the blanket under his arm; they slide over the dark surface of the river and Kurt feels as though they are walking through the pages of a book, one of those he loved to read when he was a kid, when he imagined what it would be like to find a soul mate.
When they stop, Blaine lays out the old blanket he brought and tilts his head to the side. His voice is gentle when he speaks.
“Would you like to lie here with me?”
Kurt swallows- it is one of the most absurd things he has ever done in his life and yet it makes something unfurl inside of him. He nods and smiles as Blaine beams at him.
They lay down, looking at the stars, snow still falling softly all around, and as Blaine takes his hand Kurt squeezes back.
“I…I’m happy when I’m with you, Kurt. I feel so light, like a balloon.”
Kurt smiles and turns to face Blaine. He has never been good with words, but now that there’s only Blaine and him, under the blanket of the night it’s as though a closed door has opened somewhere inside of him and he needs to give some sort of shape this cumbersome and warm thing that holds him inside. He closes his eyes before speaking.
“It’s…It’s weird how happy I feel right now. It’s…I’m exactly where I want to be.”
He takes in a deep breath; it feels so strange to have his feelings, his thoughts there, put into words, so more real and hanging right over their heads. Blaine shifts beside him and when Kurt opens his eyes again, Blaine’s face is just few inches from his. His eyes are warm and unguarded and something flutters behind Kurt’s sternum.
“May…may I?”
And Kurt doesn’t need to ask what Blaine wants, because right now he would give him everything.
Blaine’s lips are cold and soft against his own, his tongue shockingly warm when it slides around his own. Kurt’s moan sounds deafening in the silence stretching over the frozen surface of the river. He buries his fingers in Blaine’s curls.
When they break the kiss, Blaine remains right there, his breath ghosting over Kurt’s lips.
“I…I want to hold you, Kurt. Hold you and never let go.”
Kurt nods, his cheeks hot.
“Let’s go back home then.”
Blaine smiles and leans in for another kiss.
*
Kurt’s nerves are on fire as he stands on the landing waiting for Blaine to open the door. Once inside, the flat is warm and smells like Blaine’s cologne and cinnamon. Kurt barely has the time to take a look around before Blaine is cupping his face and kissing him. Electricity runs up and down Kurt’s spine; he is positively sure that he has never been kissed like this, as though he was the most beautiful thing in the world.
They stumble towards Blaine’s bedroom and flop down on the bed, like teenagers, like over grown puppies. Blaine kisses him reverently, first the shell of his ear, then the line of his collarbones and Kurt melts underneath him. It feels as though everything inside of him is about to burst- it’s scary and overwhelming and like anything he has ever felt.
Then Blaine presses his face against Kurt’s neck, whispering against his skin- his breath leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“Can…can we just stay like this for a while? I…I thought maybe we could take things a bit slower? This…you, you are too important to rush things…”
Kurt looks at the ceiling and blinks. His heart is beating like a crazy drum- important. That’s exactly what Blaine feels to him too; against every law that has regulated his world so far, because he truly doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he was sure there was something important about Blaine since the start.
Then Blaine is pulling away to look at Kurt, worry written on his features.
“Oh God, sorry…I freaked you out, didn’t I? I’m sorry, just…”
Kurt can’t help smiling at Blaine’s rambling; he reaches out and cups the other’s man face, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone.
“That’s okay, Blaine. I don’t want to rush things neither.”
When Kurt kisses him he can feel Blaine’s smile against his lips.
*
It has been a while since Kurt has slept with someone, but Blaine’s strong arms feel right around his waist, as does his warm breath against the back of his neck. Kurt lets Blaine warmth lull him to sleep.
Chapter 5