glee| The space between me and you

[ca_te]

Title: The space between me and you
Author: ca_te
Pairing: Blaine/Kurt
Genre: Romance, Au, future!fic
Rating. NC-17
Notes: This is the third part of my "Such Great Heights" series (the title comes from the song by The Postal Service). Follows Like a storm on a summer afternoon and The way we fit together
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters


And true it may seem like a stretch

But it’s thoughts like this that catch

My troubled head when you’re away

When I am missing you to death

Since he has Kurt in his life time seems to pass by faster for Blaine.

Weeks blur into months and before he realizes it he is graduating. Kurt sits and looks straight at him during the ceremony, his grey eyes seem to shine among all the others. Kurt is the first one to hug him after the ceremony is over and Blaine holds onto him, burying his face against his neck, trying to push back the tears at the thought that now the moment to leave Dalton has come, that the time to go and live far from Kurt has arrived.

It’s a quiet day at the beginning of September. Blaine sits on the plane and lets his eyes fall close. His lips are still tingling from where they have been pressed to Kurt’s; he still feels electricity cracking underneath his skin from where the other boy’s fingers have caressed him. Blaine sighs and rises the volume of his I-pod. Every song makes him think about Kurt and he wonders if the dull ache in his chest will lessen after the first weeks.

On his first night on campus he lays curled up in his bed and all he can think of is that he wishes Kurt could be there, that he could hold him instead that clutching his mobile close as he falls asleep.

For the first weeks the feeling of having a hole right at the center of his being doesn’t go away. New York breathes and lives all around him and everything reminds him of Kurt, from the windows of the shops to the sun setting behind the trees in Central Park, to the sky pale and high over his head.

They spend hours on skype, sometimes they fall asleep together in front of their computers. Those are the times that Blaine loves the most, because there is something incredibly reassuring in starting to dream with Kurt’s breathing in his ears.

Blaine can’t actually point out the exact moment when Kurt has become his constant, the axis of his still small world. Sometimes he walks through the busy streets and it occurs to him that he probably wouldn’t have felt strong enough to move to New York if he hadn’t had Kurt by his side. He wouldn’t have found the way back home if there hadn’t been Kurt waiting for him there. And certainly he wouldn’t have believed in himself enough if he hadn’t had Kurt for whom he wanted to grow up and become better.

He doesn’t know when he has started to consider Kurt as something precious, something to worship with every inch of his body and of that small part of his heart that he has never set free before having met Kurt.

He tries to go back home the more that he can; every time he sits on the plane and lets the music ground him to reality because his heart is too light at the thought that he is going to see Kurt, to hold him close. Every time that he goes back home Blaine makes love to him as if it is the last one. He knows that it might be ridiculous but he has felt on his skin what it is like to spend weeks without Kurt, wanting to kiss him, to take his hand without the possibility of doing it for real. And Kurt understands it all, he takes it all, warm and soft under Blaine’s hands and lips.

Every time Blaine has to force himself to climb in his father’s car to go to the airport; every time he listens to silly love songs as if they may help somehow.

Sometimes they fight. When it happens Blaine feels the urge to fly right back to Ohio, but he can’t and a small part of him knows that what exists between him and Kurt has to face these difficulties, has to be proven strong enough to last.

It hurts, though, when Kurt doesn’t call him back for days. Blaine goes to classes and hangs out with his roommate and his friends. David comes to visit him for a few days, but not even having one of his best friends there can make him stop thinking about Kurt. He imagines him sitting through his classes, or preparing himself before going to bed. He imagines him singing in glee club, and the fact that he knows by heart Kurt’s schedule truly doesn’t help.

When David has to go back Blaine accompanies him to the station. Before climbing on the train David turns and tells him to call Kurt, because it doesn’t make sense to be stubborn if all that he wants is to hear from him. Blaine doesn’t.

It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon and Blaine is lying on his bed, trying to read a book even though he has been stuck on the first lines for hours. The room is silent because Andrew, his roommate, has gone back home for the week end. Blaine closes his eyes and he is about to fall asleep when his mobile phone starts buzzing. Blaine blinks once, twice, to make sure that he is not hallucinating and the name on the screen is actually “Kurt”. He takes a deep breath and answers the call.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Kurt’s voice is distant over the line and yet it manages to knot something up right between Blaine’s lungs. He struggles to find the right words, to fix this, because he can’t stand the silence that has filled the last days any more. But before he can say something Kurt’s voice is already pouring inside his ear.

“I…please go to the campus’ main entrance.”

Blaine opens his mouth to reply but the call is already over. He stares at the screen as if it might contain  the answers that Kurt hasn’t given him.

The sound of his shoes against the floor echoes along the corridor; Blaine tries to slow down the beating of his heart, because really it doesn’t make sense, all that he can find out there is the rain and the grey of the concrete. He goes down the last stairs two at a time and when he arrives in front of the main entrance’s door he stops dead in his tracks.

Through the glass he can see the silhouette of a boy, holding an umbrella and giving his back to the door. Blaine has to remind to himself how to breathe, as his brain tells him that those legs and those shoulders definitely look familiar.

His muscles move on their own accord and he barely registers that he is pushing the door open. The sound of the rain falling hard on the ground twirls all around him, sinking right at the center of his bones. When the other boy turns the familiar green-grey of Kurt’s eyes seems to shine and light up the space. Blaine knows that he must look like an idiot, standing there, with his mouth slightly open.

“So…would you let me in? It’s raining here.”

Blaine blinks as something warm starts to spread through him, because he can feel the softness behind Kurt’s words and he wants nothing more than to be alone with him.

They remain silent as they walk along the corridors. It’s the first time that Kurt has come to visit him and Blaine almost doesn’t believe that this is true, that his hand would brush against Kurt’s if he stretched his arm. When Blaine finally closes his room’s door, Kurt’s presence seems to take up all the space and all the air. He watches intently as the other boy takes off his jacket and hangs it; he tries not to fidget as Kurt slowly takes in the room. The rain hits the window over and over, but Kurt’s breathing is only sound that Blaine seems to be able to hear.

Then finally Kurt turns and looks straight at him; Blaine thinks that he wants to hear his voice again, after all the days spent without hearing it.

“It’s…it’s the first time that you come here.”

Kurt nods, a small shadow crossing his irises. Blaine swallows dry and motions for him to sit down on the bed; Kurt moves slowly and for an instant Blaine has the weird sensation  of looking at him through a mass of water.

The moment Kurt sits down next to him, Blaine can feel electricity running up and down under his skin, but he knows that he can’t reach out until they’ve talked and have cleared what has created this painful distance between them. Even though he aches with the need to cover Kurt’s hand with his own, he keeps his hands in his lap as he tries to fish the right words. Once again, though, is Kurt who speaks first.

“Look, Blaine I…”

He turns and Blaine can’t do anything else except staring right into the green depths of his eyes. The words seem to fall from his lips on their own accord.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

They look at each other and, even though the air is still filled with uncertainty, twin smiles start to curve their lips.

Blaine is the first one to reach out, because seeing Kurt’s smile again makes it impossible for him to hold back. He gently cups Kurt’s cheek and his heart flutters as he feel the other boy leaning into the touch. His eyes briefly trail down to Kurt’s lips.

“Kurt…it was horrible…not to hear from you, not to know what you were thinking.”

Kurt gently brushes his fingers along the line of Blaine’s jaw, before tangling them into his curls.

“I know…and I’m so sorry for that. It was the same also for me.”

There’s such a sadness in his eyes that Blaine just wants to wipe it away and, even though he knows that it’s still early to make promises, he can’t help himself.

“I don’t want this to happen again, ever. But if it does, I promise you that I will always reach out for you, love.”

He still feels his cheeks grow slightly hotter every time that he uses this kind of nicknames but they make Kurt smile in such a beautiful way that he can’t help using them. Kurt’s eyes are shining slightly before they fall close as he leans in. Blaine’s heart hits harder against his ribcage as he closes the distance between them.

It might sound silly but Blaine feels as if he is learning all over again, learning how Kurt’s lips feel, how sweetly he tastes.

He traces the lines of Kurt’s bones and of his moles, he leaves kisses all over the soft skin behind Kurt’s ears and knees, as they lay naked, tangled together.

Being so close again seems to melt something inside of Blaine and he wants to be closer, until the borders between them blur and they become one. He shivers as Kurt sucks gently at his earlobe before whispering.

“I need to feel you, Blaine. I need it so much.”

Blaine nods and presses their forehead together. He opens his eyes and smiles at the sight of Kurt’s flushed cheeks and pink lips.

“I…I want you inside me. Is it alright?”

Kurt blinks and Blaine holds his breath. They’ve only done this once, he knows, but still having Kurt inside of him is what his whole being craves at the moment. His heart swings back and forth as Kurt smiles gently.

“Of course, love.”

Having Kurt hovering over him, feeling his fingers moving inside of him, makes Blaine feel lighter than a balloon, lighter than the clouds. He thinks that he probably would fly away if it weren’t for Kurt’s hand gently rubbing soothing circles over his hipbone.

With every movement of Kurt’s fingers he feels heath pooling and swaying everywhere inside of him.

“Please, love, I’m ready.”

Kurt looks at him with that look that Blaine has come to know so well over the last year, the one that shows how Kurt cares about him. Blaine nods once and Kurt smiles, slipping his fingers out. Blaine almost hisses at the loss.

Kurt kisses him and Blaine kisses back as if he is thirsty and Kurt is fresh water. He holds his breath as his boyfriend positions himself. They look at each other and Blaine almost stops breathing as he feels the energy buzzing between them, as he understand that what exists between them has become even brighter and stronger.

Kurt leans down and softly brushes their noses together.

“I love you.”

Blaine whispers it back as Kurt slowly enters him. It feels perfect. It feels as if every empty space inside of him is now filled and warm. Blaine lets himself go and instinctively meets every movement Kurt makes, he drinks up every moan that escapes Kurt’s lips.

Time loses meaning, right now they’re each other’s world and there are no more distances between them as they stumble over the edge, surrounded by kisses and soft promises.

Blaine holds Kurt close and he is brimming with joy at the feeling of Kurt’s warm breath against his chest. It hits him how much he has misses this, how he can no longer imagine his life without the warm hands that are now resting on his waist or the lips that are trailing gentle kisses along his collarbone.

“I missed you so much.”

After a last small kiss Kurt tilts his face up to look at him.

“I’m here now.”

Blaine smiles.

Outside it’s still raining but as he hides his face in Kurt’s hair breathing him in, Blaine feels as if they are in some other dimension, made just for the two of them.