glee| The way we fit together
And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us
Into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay
Blaine is positively sure that he will never forget the first time that he makes love to Kurt.
It is something new for the both of them, to touch and be touched, to feel exposed in front of someone else. Blaine might have looked up for information but he isn’t prepared at all for what being with Kurt in that way does to him. It’s as if something is expanding inside of him as he looks at Kurt laying underneath him, his eyes big and clear as the sky, a small smile stretching his lips.
His flushed cheeks make Blaine think about confetti and he blushes as the desire to lick Kurt’s cheekbones crosses his mind. No one has ever had this effect on him; no one has ever made Blaine discover how deep his desire can go.
Time soon loses meaning as the space around him seems to narrow down to Kurt’s body, to his fingers tracing shyly the line of Blaine’s spine. His breath shakes as the air seems to play hide and seek inside his lungs.
Sometimes the sensation are too much, the warmth, the rushing of his blood, the feeling of Kurt’s skin sliding against his own, the soft sounds escaping Kurt’s lips. But Blaine forces himself to keep his eyes open because he wants to see it all, to absorb everything in order to have it carved inside his brain, so that he won’t never be able to forget this.
His hands are shaking and he has to take a deep breath to calm himself. Kurt’s hand is in his hair, massaging gently, and Blaine looks up at him.
Kurt doesn’t speak, but Blaine is able to read it all at the bottom of his boyfriend’s eyes; the affection and the permission, the want and the love. Everything is mixed up together and to realize how much he means to Kurt, who is completely opening up to him, makes Blaine’s head spin and his heart beat faster, brimming with emotions that are so big that he doesn’t even try to define their contours.
Kurt takes his fingers and slowly guides them towards his entrance. Blaine swallows, wondering how is it possible that his heart hasn’t exploded yet. He is scared, because he doesn’t want to hurt Kurt, but at the same time he is sure that he has never wanted something as much as being inside this boy for whom he has fallen so hard, for whom he would keep falling over and over.
After having slowly prepared Kurt, after having explored places that no one else has seen, that Kurt is allowing him to map and to touch, he lets Kurt help him. His hands are gentle as he rolls the condom onto Blaine and strokes him. Blaine feels something inside of him vaporizing and it’s as if every cell of his body is asking him to become one with Kurt.
“Are…are you sure?”
Kurt kisses him without saying a word and Blaine smiles before positioning himself. It’s weird how this should be confusing and awkward and instead is natural as kissing Kurt has become over the past months.
It’s weird how entering Kurt feels a bit like coming back to a place that he has known and missed all along. His eyes stay focused on his boyfriend’s face; every time that Kurt bites his lower lip or shuts his eyes closed Blaine stills, pressing their foreheads together and whispering soft words against the pink of Kurt’s lips.
When he is completely inside of Kurt, Blaine feels as if he is bathing in light; everything is warm and somehow familiar. He finds himself thinking that he wants this to never end. Then Kurt whispers him to move and Blaine does. Even though he has never done this, he feels his body moving on its own accord, answering to Kurt’s small and tentative movements, to his hands resting like small wings on his hipbones.
The words twirl under his skin, trembling slightly every time that Kurt moans softly, every time that he feels heath bubbling up until it’s almost too much to bear. And then Blaine lets them free to fall between their bodies because he finally feels that they are true.
“I love you.”
And he keeps repeating it, over and over, as Kurt whispers it back, until their words become incoherent sounds made of love and desire.
*
Blaine holds Kurt close, he holds him tight, as if they are standing on the edge of the world. Kurt whispers promises against his chest and Blaine can’t help to voice his thoughts, even though he is probably going to sound cheesy.
“You know? I think that I was made to be with you.”
He can feel Kurt’s soft laugh reverberating through his ribcage. Then Kurt lifts his gaze and Blaine is looking into the clear moons of his eyes.
“You know what? I think you were.”