glee/Many times
Finn stretches his arms high over his head. It’s a sunny day and he likes it when the sun warms him and he feels as if someone is cuddling him. He almost jumps as he feels someone tapping his shoulder. He had almost forgotten that Kurt was with him, the smaller boy is standing on his toes, his hand still on Finn’s shoulder, his eyes sparkling more than usual under the afternoon’s sun.
-Earth to Finn! Earth to Finn!
Kurt smiles and Finn has to swallow dry at the sight of that soft, tender smile
-Uh…uhm…yeah?
Kurt stares at the taller boy, his head tilted slightly to the side and hands on his hips.
-Weren’t you supposed to help me with this football thing?
Kurt is looking so deadly serious that Finn can’t help to smile. He doesn’t know weather the voices about Kurt having a crush on him are true or not but what he knows is that he doesn’t want to worry if he feels like patting Kurt’s hair, he doesn’t want to think weather or not the could hurt him doing so, or weather or not people at school are going to talk about them if they find out.
So he simply pats Kurt’s hair, he is surprised by how soft and silky they are under his fingertips.
Kurt can feel his heartbeat become faster and his knees becoming like jelly, but he tries with all his might to resist. There’s no meaning behind Finn’s touches, Finn will always consider him a friend, why would he want to consider him as something more when he has Quinn at his side and the football team and actually all what Kurt has never had.
So he takes a deep breath and moves aside, he feels Finn’s hand slide down his cheek and on his shoulders till it finally falls down, back at Finn’s side. Kurt bites his lower lip looking at his feet.
-I’m going to get the music.
Finn keeps his gaze on Kurt’s back as he walks towards the corner of the lawn where they have left their bags. He thinks that Kurt walks a bit like a girl, elegantly, but it’s much more stunning because all that elegance is not supposed to shine from a small boy’s body. Finn feels his cheeks growing hotter, he averts his gaze and tries to think that it’s the sun that is making him feel that way.
Kurt keeps his eyes focused on the stereo that he has to get, he knows that he shouldn’t be hoping that Finn is looking at him. C’mon Hummel! He is into girls, girls! He carefully lifts the stereo and adjusts the strap over his shoulder.
Finn stands there, the helmet in his right hand and feeling a bit unsettled. It’s the first time that Kurt has distanced himself from him and Finn really has a hard time trying to understand why he is feeling so sad about it. It’s not as if he and Kurt are really friends right? And as soon as this thought forms into his mind Finn slowly realizes that that’s exactly the problem, the fact that it seems impossible for him to really reach for Kurt. He stares at the grass under his feet. Kurt’s shoes enter his field of view and Finn shakes his head trying to focus. As he lifts his gaze icy-blue eyes are looking at him.
-So do we want to get started?
Kurt has to use all his strength to look at Finn in the eyes, into those chocolate brown eyes that seem to swallow everything else.
Finn knows he must have one of his dumbest expression at the moment. He nods.
-S-So why do you need the stereo?
Kurt adjusts the band on his forehead.
-Because, Finn, I can’t kick if I don’t warm up myself properly.
Finn thinks that Kurt, standing there, a hand on his hips, looks like a tiny ballerina. And then again this is a thought that should occur to him when he is looking at Quinn or at Rachel, not as he is looking at Kurt
-B-but Kurt what is someone sees you?
Kurt rolls his eyes, Finn is an awesome guy but sometimes he really doesn’t understand when it’s time to stop talking and questioning about stupid things, about things that being him just normal he can’t understand.
-I don’t care if someone sees me, Finn. I am who I am.
Finn remains silent, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It’s…it’s sad that it doesn’t seem that he can understand Kurt, and really he has never been so interested in understanding anyone else before. With a little sad smile he nods.
-You are right. Sorry, Kurt.
Without waiting an answer he puts his helmet on and kneels down holding the ball.
Kurt switches on the stereo, and lets the music guide his movements. He has always liked dancing, since when he was little, and he had to do it when his father wasn’t at home. So he smoothly moves his little body, following Beyonce’s voice. He can feel the sun on his skin, the rhythm slowly filling him and he relaxes, ‘cause really it doesn’t make sense to constrain himself for someone else’s sake and he wants Finn to see everything of him. He dances as when he is alone in his room, as when he thinks that only his mom is looking.
At the beginning Finn tries to keep his eyes on the ball, on the grass, anywhere but not on Kurt, ‘cause it doesn’t seem a good idea, but as the music goes on he can’t help to lift his gaze and his breath gets stuck somewhere between his lungs and his throat or wherever ‘cause really Finn has never been good at science. His eyes travel down from the curve of Kurt’s neck, and they stop at Kurt’s hips, he is swinging them gracefully, his body seems even lighter as he is dancing. Finn swallows, he knows he shouldn’t be looking, that he should be able to avert his gaze. Then, over the blood that is rushing into his ears, he hears Kurt’s voice.
-Ready Finn?
Finn can feel the vibration in his hands as Kurt kicks the ball, he stands up, takes off he helmet and follows the ball with his eyes, standing at Kurt’s side.
-T-That was amazing Kurt! Where have you learnt?
Without having realized it, Finn has his hands on Kurt’s shoulders, squeezing them lightly.
Kurt opens his mouth and no sound escapes. It’s the first time that Finn has ever complimented him, and even though he knows he shouldn’t fool himself, he just can’t help to smile at the sensation of Finn’s words in his ears and of Finn’s hands on his shoulders.
-I…thanks Finn.
-They are going to let you in for sure! But well the music…
Finn stops, noticing the seriousness in Kurt’s eyes.
-Uh…whatever.
Kurt smiles, a warm smile, warmer than the sun on their skins, and it’s so overwhelming for Finn to have been able to understand, to make Kurt smile. And it seems natural to lean forward, his head spinning a bit and press his lips to Kurt’s. The music continues to play.
Kurt feels as if he is dissolving. This is his first kiss. He closes his eyes and the sun caresses warmly his eyelids. Finn’s tongue is licking his lower lip, so Kurt just does what his instincts are screaming and shyly opens his mouth. A shiver runs along his spine as he feels Finn’s tongue moving gently, as if he is scared to hurt him. Slowly Kurt lets his tongue caress Finn’s and brings his arms up, around Finn’s neck.
As Finn feels Kurt responding to the kiss he slides his arms down, from the other boy’s shoulders to his waist and pulls him closer. Kurt moans into the kiss as he finds himself so close to Finn, their chests brushing. Finn shivers as Kurt’s moan rolls into his mouth, the idea that someone may see them is just a distant thought in his mind as he can’t help to squeeze a little bit more strongly Kurt into his arms. As they break the kiss, searching for air, Finn looks straight into Kurt’s eyes, his heart pounding hard into his ears. The music has stopped.
-K-Kurt I…uhm…
Finn still has his arms around Kurt, he can feel him under his hands, and really it makes it difficult to think straight, to care about all the rest.
Now Kurt is afraid, afraid that Finn might have kissed him just out of curiosity or because of the music, and he doesn’t want his first kiss to be like that. So he looks back into Finn’s eyes and stands on his toes brushing his lips gently against Finn’s. He knows all too well that he may be rejected, ‘cause in the end Finn has a girlfriend, he is straight and…
But then he feels Finn’s lips pressing against his own, he opens his eyes a little and he sees that Finn’s are closed. His heart seems to sink as Finn nibbles again at his lower lip, asking for entrance. Kurt closes his eyes again and slightly opens his mouth. And the time stops again, as if the world didn’t exist, and Finn’s lips are there, on his own, Finn’s arms around him. Kurt has the sensation of the soil disappearing and he wonders if all the kisses are so beautiful, if everyone feels in a fairy tail as he is feeling right now.
The second time they stop kissing Finn presses his forehead to Kurt’s.
-I…That was…
Kurt takes a deep breath.
-That was my first kiss, Finn.
Finn looks at the icy-blue of Kurt’s eyes shining in front of him and feels warm, and not because of the afternoon sun.
-I’m happy that I was your first kiss.
Kurt smiles but then bites his lower lip.
-But…uh…you have Quinn right? I mean you are not…
Finn has to look away, but his forehead remains pressed to Kurt’s.
-I…I don’t know Kurt…I don’t understand…but what I know is that I wanted to kiss you.
The use of the past makes Kurt grimace inwardly and he lowers his gaze, but then Finn’s hand is tilting his chin up.
-And I know that I want to kiss you again.
Kurt knows that it’s stupid but he can’t help to ask.
-For how many times?
Finn blinks, then, seeing the red coloring Kurt’s cheeks, he smiles.
-Many times, Kurt.
As Kurt’s smile appears again Finn thinks that then maybe he really is starting to understand the little boy in his arms.