Chapter 5 - Calling in a Debt
Disclaimers: Neither the idea of Harry Potter nor the characters belong to me in any way. They are the sole property of JKR. I do not make any money of this story either.
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Chapter 5 - “Handle With Care”
It was pitch black, but Harry was still lying awake. He had been too happy to see that the potion had ceased to work. Even knowing that the Potion Master would happily strangle him if he ever found out, had obviously not helped him keep this secret. Reckless and dumb. That was, what he was. Severus had always been right about him.
Tears were running down his face, but they were spilt out of anger at himself. Harry would have felt better if Severus had screamed at him, but he had used a calm, cold tone of voice. Even a slap in the face or a knee to the groin would have been better. But the man had just sent him out and then turned away from him. “Hell, I’d be livid in his stead.” He would have hexed Severus into the next year if that had been him, spells or no spells. He had never even given him a chance to answer the questions thrown at him, or explain why and how it came to this. There was no time to explain and now Severus would not want an explanation any more. Knowing him Harry doubted, that the older wizard would want an apology. Everything the younger man could say to his consort would be thought an excuse and used to fuel the anger Severus must be feeling.
In a way the last four hours Harry had spent alone, lying on top of his blankets and staring onto the white ceiling, had been a revelation to the young man. Never having been in love before, especially not with someone so complicated, skittish and sarcastic he had trusted his friend’s judgement. Which had been his first mistake. Then he had been idiotic enough to follow through with the plan as well. Second mistake.
The third - and in Harry’s mind much more important one - had been to think he could get away with it and everyone would be happy with the outcome. “So *naive*.”
How could he possibly even think about winning Severus’ trust now? After what he had done? “He’ll never even look at me again.” Getting up he paced the length of the room like a caged tiger, trying to find out just when the whole thing had gone awry and suddenly it came to him. “Hermione.” His voice was a low growl that - had he been paying attention - Harry would not have recognised. “Ron!”
On an impulse, he pulled an old robe over his pyjamas and made sure he had his wand with him. When he Apparated out of the house he had no idea what he was going to do, but it did not bode well for either of his two best friends.
***
A loud, banging noise woke Ron from a wonderful dream. He was alone at home for a week, while his parents visited a good friend halfway across the world and Ginny was staying with a friend. Fred and George had moved out a year ago, enjoying their freedom, but they had not forgotten their family.
Life was good for Ron and he enjoyed what free time he had before his Auror-training would start. He had been incredibly lucky in his NEWTS and with the help of Hermione his grades had picked up for their OWLS. The three of them had come out top of their year. Unbelievable as it was, next to their adventures they had come to terms with the word revision as well.
When the banging did not stop after a while, Ron dragged himself out of bed, padded downstairs and opened the door, “Do you have any idea what time it is?” The words were out before he had even set eyes on his visitor. “Harry?” His friend looked awful.
“If you think I’m going to follow your advice - or Hermione’s for that matter - ever again, you’re completely mistaken.” Harry’s voice sounded strangled. His eyes were unnaturally bright and tears were streaming down his cheeks.
Swallowing Ron pulled Harry inside and led him into the kitchen. “What happened?” He pushed his best friend into a large, fluffy chair and started making tea. That was about the only thing he was able to do, because he could barely bear the sight of Harry like this. *Damn.*
“Severus woke up, the potion didn’t work.” Harry had muttered the words under his breath, barely loud enough for Ron to hear. He suddenly jumped up and screamed, “Why - WHY - did I ever listen to you! You and Hermione! Both of you so full of bloody good advice. Do you have any idea what this plan might have cost me? I can call myself lucky for still being alive. Damn you, damn you both to hell!” He took a deep, steadying breath. “How am I ever going to make him realise that I love him? He’ll never trust me again!”
Ron had experienced Harry’s temper quite a number of times in their friendship. But never like this. “Hey!” On the one hand he understood Harry perfectly well, on the other he felt like was treated unfairly. “I *told* you not to get yourself caught.”
A smouldering glare from Harry stopped him before he could say anything else. “Damn you, Ron. It was your idea. Damn myself for being a naïve fool as well. Do you have any idea how something like this can be made up?” He paused for only a moment before continuing with a sarcastic, “Of course not, there *is* no way to make it up to Severus! He was right from the start, for me he was just a toy. A sex-slave. Good Merlin, he actually accused me of that when he first ran to Dumbledore, did you know? And he was completely right.”
As suddenly as he had jumped up he sat down again, putting his head on his hands. He was sobbing loudly and Ron could do nothing than standing next to him and awkwardly patting his back. *I need help.* Before he had finished this thought, he was already kneeling in front of the fire, trying to reach Hermione. The instant her face appeared in the fire, relief flooded him. “Hermione, you have to come here. And hurry, Harry is here.”
“Harry?”
“Yes, he’s here because there was a problem with Severus. He needs us now.” It was probably the real desperation in his voice, or maybe the horrified expression on his face that made Hermione Apparate without even changing into something different from her nightgown. One look at their friend and Hermione was on her knees, hugging him fiercely.
Without a word Harry clung to her. Unable to say anything between sobs, great gasps for air and hiccups it was left to Ron, to give her the details. He had retrieved the tea and was standing helpless in the middle of the kitchen, holding a forgotten cup clasped in both his hands.
It took almost an hour for Harry to calm down enough to sip his tea and was able to talk about it.
“It’s all over. Now I’ll never have a chance to live with Severus like we are a married couple. I’m surprised I lived to tell the tale.”
Absentmindedly Hermione bit into a piece of cake Ron had put in front of them in an attempt to keep busy. The young redhead had needed something to do and was just now putting up another pot of tea when they had not even finished their cups. “The wedding spell wouldn’t allow it. Snape can make you suffer psychologically, naturally, but physically he can’t touch you in any way that he knows would hurt you.”
As she mentioned Severus’ name, tears started to run down Harry’s cheeks again. He rubbed the overlong arms of his robe over his eyes in a fruitless attempt to close the floodgates again.
“I’m so sorry, Harry, I should never have pressured you into this. It’s all my fault, but all I wanted was you to be happy and I just did not think beyond that.” The words tumbled out of her in one big rush and she hugged Harry again, feeling herself tear up as well. Hermione looked at Ron over Harry’s shoulder with a sad, guilty expression on her face. She should have listened to her inner voice. Meddling with someone else’s love life was never a good idea. “I can’t promise that we can fix it, but I’ll help you in any way that I can. And no more interference. I swear.”
Ron - feeling slightly less helpless - joint them in a group hug and added his sincere apology to Hermione’s, offering silent comfort to their distraught friend.
***
Guilt and unease dominated Harry’s feelings for the next weeks. He practically hid from Snape, not even seeing him at mealtimes, which he now took in his own room. Dobby had desperately been trying to cheer Harry up, giving him colourful, mismatched socks and telling stories. The borrowed house-elf was visibly suffering with his friend, his ears drooping sadly and the condition of the house deteriorating more and more every day.
Harry had a lot of thinking to do. There was no doubt Severus would make him pay for it. Punishment would be ample and in a way he welcomed it. First he had to bring himself to face the other man, which was not easy. The thought alone made him more nervous than he would have ever thought possible. He actively avoided so much as staying in the room next to one Severus was in. All he did was lying on his bed or looking out of the window with unseeing eyes, thinking. Almost a month passed this way. Dobby brought him news of Severus, told him that the older man enjoyed to stay in the garden most of the time, planting and weeding.
He expected Severus to leave any time. When day after day passed and Dobby told him that Severus had not eaten all of his dinner again, Harry started to get worried. After all he had done he still felt strongly for the Potion Master. Why did Severus still remain at their house? He could have returned to their flat at Hogwarts. So why was he still here? The school year was going to start very soon, and then Severus would have to return to the castle at any rate. There were only a few days of holidays left for the staff. Why did Severus feel the need to stay behind longer than he had to?
“Maybe he doesn’t want to leave without expressing his displeasure to me.” He knew that was no reason, he could always send a howler every day, and not even one of those had arrived yet.
Fidgeting in his armchair Harry went back to what he thought was now the main problem. They were still going to be married for more than a year and a half. Going over the contract he realised something he had not seen before. Both parties had to agree to the dissolution of the contract if ever the need arose. Maybe that was what Severus was waiting for?
Taking a heart, Harry for the first time in weeks left his rooms. He had needed a day to work up the courage to do so, but when he did he was determined to find Severus Snape and to talk to him.
“I see you are out of hiding.”
The voice came from behind, almost scaring him to death. Severus sounded so composed, so cold and detached. For an instant Harry wished he could be like that, so aloof, but he also knew that it was all just a façade by the look in Severus’ dark eyes. “Yes.” There was no need to try and conceal something that he knew was true. He had lied to Severus and deceived him more than enough. If he owed anything to him, it was to be honest from this time onwards. “I thought you might enjoy screaming at me.“
An eyebrow raised Severus remained silent, obviously enjoying his husband’s fidgeting and his discomfort.
*I deserve it,* Harry thought unhappy, keeping his emotions hidden as best as he could, but a new glint in his consort’s eyes told him, that Severus had spotted it.
Looking at him for a moment longer, he moved past Harry and to the door, opening it with an elegant movement.
“I wanted to offer you to dissolve our contract.” This was the only possible thing that Harry could offer Severus now, that happiness was out of the questions. Something he had demanded for the entire time they had been together.
The Potion Master froze, his hand on the door-handle, his back turned to Harry. For an endless moment he just stood there, then he turned a little, as if to watch Harry’s reaction.
“No.”
***
Back to Chapter 04
Index
Go to Chapter 06
Back to Chapter 04
Index
Go to Chapter 06
Chapter 5 - “Handle With Care”
It was pitch black, but Harry was still lying awake. He had been too happy to see that the potion had ceased to work. Even knowing that the Potion Master would happily strangle him if he ever found out, had obviously not helped him keep this secret. Reckless and dumb. That was, what he was. Severus had always been right about him.
Tears were running down his face, but they were spilt out of anger at himself. Harry would have felt better if Severus had screamed at him, but he had used a calm, cold tone of voice. Even a slap in the face or a knee to the groin would have been better. But the man had just sent him out and then turned away from him. “Hell, I’d be livid in his stead.” He would have hexed Severus into the next year if that had been him, spells or no spells. He had never even given him a chance to answer the questions thrown at him, or explain why and how it came to this. There was no time to explain and now Severus would not want an explanation any more. Knowing him Harry doubted, that the older wizard would want an apology. Everything the younger man could say to his consort would be thought an excuse and used to fuel the anger Severus must be feeling.
In a way the last four hours Harry had spent alone, lying on top of his blankets and staring onto the white ceiling, had been a revelation to the young man. Never having been in love before, especially not with someone so complicated, skittish and sarcastic he had trusted his friend’s judgement. Which had been his first mistake. Then he had been idiotic enough to follow through with the plan as well. Second mistake.
The third - and in Harry’s mind much more important one - had been to think he could get away with it and everyone would be happy with the outcome. “So *naive*.”
How could he possibly even think about winning Severus’ trust now? After what he had done? “He’ll never even look at me again.” Getting up he paced the length of the room like a caged tiger, trying to find out just when the whole thing had gone awry and suddenly it came to him. “Hermione.” His voice was a low growl that - had he been paying attention - Harry would not have recognised. “Ron!”
On an impulse, he pulled an old robe over his pyjamas and made sure he had his wand with him. When he Apparated out of the house he had no idea what he was going to do, but it did not bode well for either of his two best friends.
***
A loud, banging noise woke Ron from a wonderful dream. He was alone at home for a week, while his parents visited a good friend halfway across the world and Ginny was staying with a friend. Fred and George had moved out a year ago, enjoying their freedom, but they had not forgotten their family.
Life was good for Ron and he enjoyed what free time he had before his Auror-training would start. He had been incredibly lucky in his NEWTS and with the help of Hermione his grades had picked up for their OWLS. The three of them had come out top of their year. Unbelievable as it was, next to their adventures they had come to terms with the word revision as well.
When the banging did not stop after a while, Ron dragged himself out of bed, padded downstairs and opened the door, “Do you have any idea what time it is?” The words were out before he had even set eyes on his visitor. “Harry?” His friend looked awful.
“If you think I’m going to follow your advice - or Hermione’s for that matter - ever again, you’re completely mistaken.” Harry’s voice sounded strangled. His eyes were unnaturally bright and tears were streaming down his cheeks.
Swallowing Ron pulled Harry inside and led him into the kitchen. “What happened?” He pushed his best friend into a large, fluffy chair and started making tea. That was about the only thing he was able to do, because he could barely bear the sight of Harry like this. *Damn.*
“Severus woke up, the potion didn’t work.” Harry had muttered the words under his breath, barely loud enough for Ron to hear. He suddenly jumped up and screamed, “Why - WHY - did I ever listen to you! You and Hermione! Both of you so full of bloody good advice. Do you have any idea what this plan might have cost me? I can call myself lucky for still being alive. Damn you, damn you both to hell!” He took a deep, steadying breath. “How am I ever going to make him realise that I love him? He’ll never trust me again!”
Ron had experienced Harry’s temper quite a number of times in their friendship. But never like this. “Hey!” On the one hand he understood Harry perfectly well, on the other he felt like was treated unfairly. “I *told* you not to get yourself caught.”
A smouldering glare from Harry stopped him before he could say anything else. “Damn you, Ron. It was your idea. Damn myself for being a naïve fool as well. Do you have any idea how something like this can be made up?” He paused for only a moment before continuing with a sarcastic, “Of course not, there *is* no way to make it up to Severus! He was right from the start, for me he was just a toy. A sex-slave. Good Merlin, he actually accused me of that when he first ran to Dumbledore, did you know? And he was completely right.”
As suddenly as he had jumped up he sat down again, putting his head on his hands. He was sobbing loudly and Ron could do nothing than standing next to him and awkwardly patting his back. *I need help.* Before he had finished this thought, he was already kneeling in front of the fire, trying to reach Hermione. The instant her face appeared in the fire, relief flooded him. “Hermione, you have to come here. And hurry, Harry is here.”
“Harry?”
“Yes, he’s here because there was a problem with Severus. He needs us now.” It was probably the real desperation in his voice, or maybe the horrified expression on his face that made Hermione Apparate without even changing into something different from her nightgown. One look at their friend and Hermione was on her knees, hugging him fiercely.
Without a word Harry clung to her. Unable to say anything between sobs, great gasps for air and hiccups it was left to Ron, to give her the details. He had retrieved the tea and was standing helpless in the middle of the kitchen, holding a forgotten cup clasped in both his hands.
It took almost an hour for Harry to calm down enough to sip his tea and was able to talk about it.
“It’s all over. Now I’ll never have a chance to live with Severus like we are a married couple. I’m surprised I lived to tell the tale.”
Absentmindedly Hermione bit into a piece of cake Ron had put in front of them in an attempt to keep busy. The young redhead had needed something to do and was just now putting up another pot of tea when they had not even finished their cups. “The wedding spell wouldn’t allow it. Snape can make you suffer psychologically, naturally, but physically he can’t touch you in any way that he knows would hurt you.”
As she mentioned Severus’ name, tears started to run down Harry’s cheeks again. He rubbed the overlong arms of his robe over his eyes in a fruitless attempt to close the floodgates again.
“I’m so sorry, Harry, I should never have pressured you into this. It’s all my fault, but all I wanted was you to be happy and I just did not think beyond that.” The words tumbled out of her in one big rush and she hugged Harry again, feeling herself tear up as well. Hermione looked at Ron over Harry’s shoulder with a sad, guilty expression on her face. She should have listened to her inner voice. Meddling with someone else’s love life was never a good idea. “I can’t promise that we can fix it, but I’ll help you in any way that I can. And no more interference. I swear.”
Ron - feeling slightly less helpless - joint them in a group hug and added his sincere apology to Hermione’s, offering silent comfort to their distraught friend.
***
Guilt and unease dominated Harry’s feelings for the next weeks. He practically hid from Snape, not even seeing him at mealtimes, which he now took in his own room. Dobby had desperately been trying to cheer Harry up, giving him colourful, mismatched socks and telling stories. The borrowed house-elf was visibly suffering with his friend, his ears drooping sadly and the condition of the house deteriorating more and more every day.
Harry had a lot of thinking to do. There was no doubt Severus would make him pay for it. Punishment would be ample and in a way he welcomed it. First he had to bring himself to face the other man, which was not easy. The thought alone made him more nervous than he would have ever thought possible. He actively avoided so much as staying in the room next to one Severus was in. All he did was lying on his bed or looking out of the window with unseeing eyes, thinking. Almost a month passed this way. Dobby brought him news of Severus, told him that the older man enjoyed to stay in the garden most of the time, planting and weeding.
He expected Severus to leave any time. When day after day passed and Dobby told him that Severus had not eaten all of his dinner again, Harry started to get worried. After all he had done he still felt strongly for the Potion Master. Why did Severus still remain at their house? He could have returned to their flat at Hogwarts. So why was he still here? The school year was going to start very soon, and then Severus would have to return to the castle at any rate. There were only a few days of holidays left for the staff. Why did Severus feel the need to stay behind longer than he had to?
“Maybe he doesn’t want to leave without expressing his displeasure to me.” He knew that was no reason, he could always send a howler every day, and not even one of those had arrived yet.
Fidgeting in his armchair Harry went back to what he thought was now the main problem. They were still going to be married for more than a year and a half. Going over the contract he realised something he had not seen before. Both parties had to agree to the dissolution of the contract if ever the need arose. Maybe that was what Severus was waiting for?
Taking a heart, Harry for the first time in weeks left his rooms. He had needed a day to work up the courage to do so, but when he did he was determined to find Severus Snape and to talk to him.
“I see you are out of hiding.”
The voice came from behind, almost scaring him to death. Severus sounded so composed, so cold and detached. For an instant Harry wished he could be like that, so aloof, but he also knew that it was all just a façade by the look in Severus’ dark eyes. “Yes.” There was no need to try and conceal something that he knew was true. He had lied to Severus and deceived him more than enough. If he owed anything to him, it was to be honest from this time onwards. “I thought you might enjoy screaming at me.“
An eyebrow raised Severus remained silent, obviously enjoying his husband’s fidgeting and his discomfort.
*I deserve it,* Harry thought unhappy, keeping his emotions hidden as best as he could, but a new glint in his consort’s eyes told him, that Severus had spotted it.
Looking at him for a moment longer, he moved past Harry and to the door, opening it with an elegant movement.
“I wanted to offer you to dissolve our contract.” This was the only possible thing that Harry could offer Severus now, that happiness was out of the questions. Something he had demanded for the entire time they had been together.
The Potion Master froze, his hand on the door-handle, his back turned to Harry. For an endless moment he just stood there, then he turned a little, as if to watch Harry’s reaction.
“No.”
***
Back to Chapter 04
Index
Go to Chapter 06