STORY - Calling in a Debt - Chapter 10

[ca_pierson]

Disclaimers: Neither the idea of Harry Potter nor the characters belong to me in any way. They are the sole property of JKR. I do not make any money of this story either.

Thanks to my wonderful betas Allzugern, Amber, darkmoore munchkinofdoom and Christine Pierson

Comments

[xikum]

Interesting style, like snapshots, vignettes, each one separated by some time, and each one detailed enough to give a sense of what has happened, is happening, to tie it all together. This is so very different style from anything else I have read. It is also an enthralling tale... um, quite a cliffie, here... seems you have a lot of 11 done...how soon may we expect/hope for an update?
You really do have these characters true to their canon selves. I love your explanation for what has made Severus what he has been - but I am also interested / concerned: How much has Dumbledore known all along, and since Voldie is dead, unless he also was under some spell, why did he not reveal things before they got to this point?

I must admit I am a sucker for a Snarry with Harry pregnant. Is that the direction you are heading here, since it was Harry's dad that got pg?

I was surprised at Harry's green eyes being from Lily, I thought you were hinting at another link to Voldie, since in CoS we found out that originally, Tom Marvolo Riddle had green eyes, like Harry's that was one of the comparisons he made between them. - The eyes only went red some time much later, whether after whatever stuff he'd done in his quest for immortality, or his 're-embodiment' we don't know. I've always wondered if there was any connection there, between Harry, Lily & VOldie in canon. Guess we won't know until the last book.

What a mixed up bunch of heartbreaking situatins. Only 5 more chapters? I'm rather hoping for more! You've certainly got enough plotlines here for a novel!

[ca_pierson]

Hi! Wow, thanks for the long review!

I was afraid the style would rip the story apart, but once I started writing it, everything fit together seamlessly. Chapter 11 is currently at the first beta, and I'll post it here whenever I get it back and it went through another edit. I'm currently busy on chapter 12, which proves to be much harder to write than the last few, for reasons I don't really want to talk about quite yet :).

Dumbledore is a central figure of the next chapter. He and his silence will be explained, just like the time-line will hopefully become clearer.

To be absolutely honest with you, the mpreg is a subject I've been trying not to think about too hard since someone submitted my story to a SS mpreg archive. However, I've never said who is going to be pregnant for one simple thing: I know myself. If I decide in the beginning of a story about these things, I can't keep it to myself, I am terrible with these kind of secrets, and I'd rather there are a few surprises in this story. Because I'm a sucker for plot-twists ;). James being pregnant has nothing to do with my choices, it's purely plot-driven.

"As a 16-year-old Tom Riddle: described as having jet black hair (CS13); "tall, black-haired boy" (CS17); "handsome" (CS18); "dark" eyes (HBP)." I went with what HP Lexicon had to say about Voldemort. I liked the films, but when it comes to appearances I don't trust them at all. Also, I just wanted Harry to have a permanent link to Lily. Something to hold onto. I wanted her to have some sort of presence, through Harry, because sticking her into any more of the pensieve memories would have killed my concept.

As to the problem of Voldemort's red eyes: "Voldemort in his late 20s: When Voldemort visited Dumbledore about 10 years after leaving school, he was no longer handsome. His deathly pale face looked "waxy and oddly distorted, and the whites of the eyes now had a permanently bloody look." (HBP20)" I'm trying to repress my memory of reading that book until the last one is published, so HP-Lexicon is the best source.

About the 5 chapters left? I haven't thought about that in a while. It was only a guess. At this point it's likely I'll end up with a few more chapters.

Ah, plot-lines ... yes, I know, I wish I could just finish one for a change (^_^) THAT would be quite nice, but I'm happy as it is. At least I get bitten by plot-kittens who have the decency to give me ideas for the story I'd like to finish, instead of giving me new ideas.

Again, thanks for your review, it brightened my day.