Let Alone Question, For It Leaves No Response...
I don't understand it sometimes...Why occasionally one will go into small, teeny, tiny spells of nostalgia. But it happens. And one can only strive to look for some other means or alternative to direct their attention to, in hope of being able to get past it. I can only hope to make it past certain things. Lonliness is one of them. It's not
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Well I'd have to say it's because of two things. One is because I've always had this idea to go, but I've never followed through with it cuz of people's pressuring me not to go and numbers of recruiters breathing down my neck. Second, school is a big issue. I've done my best to pay off most of my bills for school, but it also pains me to know I have a mother who makes about 80G a year, but who refuses to help me pay for school. Plus, I'll end up working for stupid asshole bosses who believe in onipotence, so that doesn't help out much. But I'm only signing up for reserves. And even more on top of that, I'm in the split program where I can go for boot, come back, go to school-that will be paid for, and come winter break, I go for MCT, and I go to school again and then to MOS, wherever that may be. I actually go take the ASVAB tomorrow. Hopefully I do well enough and can manage a great job. An electrician job wouldn't be too bad, or a some kind of tech job, or some kind of mechanic job wouldn't be too bad either. I'm into fixing things.
But other than that, I just...It's always been one of my major issues to find someone I can be with. I can honestly think, without sounding like a dick, I've done and "be all I can be" with past girlfriends. But they all fucked me over one time or another for their own personal endeavors. To be honest I feel like I'm 40 with all the shit I've had to pick up in the last 3 years. And I completely agree, before my 8 years are up, I'll be in Iraq at least once. I whole-heartedly see me there before I'm able to leave. But I can say I'm emotionally fucked-up, with no avail. I just didn't have a lot of things in my life, and I feel the way to fill that void is just to have someone in my life I can love. But other than that...I just hope shit works out. Is this Favio by chance?
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