calling you. a yoosu oneshot.
calling you
pg; yoosu; 1500w
romance; mushy!stuff; song!fic
♥
you meet at a party. he’s just another freshman, celebrating the start of another year of education, yet there’s something there that pulls you in. perhaps the shy glances he keeps sending your way, or how he laughs with his whole body when one of his friends does something ridiculous. or perhaps it’s the way he blushes and stutters a response, when you finally approach him to say hello. you tell him your name and he responds with a ‘i know who you are’ which pleases you more than it should.
by the end of the night you’re both incoherent, incomprehensible (completely smashed) and inseparable.
kim junsu; you type into your phone, naming the young man you had just kissed in the taxi, in front of his house.
you date, you flirt and you fall for him. you fall for the shy glances he sends your way and how he laughs with his whole body. you fall for the way he never fails to make you smile whenever you meet face-to-face and how your name sounds coming from his lips, with that voice you can’t get enough of.
you fall for him and for a while everything seems perfect.
there’s something that i can’t quite explain.
i'm so in love with you.
it’s the day after you tell him you want to go steady, when the first call happens. of course you had spoken to each other by phone before, but this was the very first of one of those calls.
’yeah?’
‘uh, yoochun?’
’what is it, junsu?’
’i was just … wondering.’
’about what?’
’how you’re doing…?’
calling you to see.
if you’re okay when i’m not around.
you feel warm when you hear the concern in his tone yet chuckle at his ridiculousness. ‘you saw me just yesterday.’'
’… you didn’t answer the question, is something wrong!?’
silly su.
’of course not, baby.’ and you can just imagine how red he is from hearing the word stressed out like that.
’ah… i’m glad… wanna do something tomorrow?’
’sure’ absolutely.
asking if you love me.
i love the way you make it sound.
when the calls start happening more frequently until junsu is asking ‘do you love me?’ at the end of each conversation, sounding so unsure and vulnerable, you begin to worry if there’s something wrong. he often sounds lonely, sad or even self-loathing on the phone but you dare not mention it, in fear of making him uncomfortable. one day you come up with the thought that maybe junsu is feeling unsure about your feelings because you’ve never actually admitted them out loud. sure, you approached him, kissed him, asked for his phone number and then asked him out, later even asking to go steady and exclusive, also saying ‘yes, of course I do’ every time he asks for confirmation on the phone…
but you’ve never actually said the l-word, the infamous phrase that’s used in everyday life yet which you could never say without meaning it from the bottom of your heart.
’i love you.’
you’re definitely going to say it to junsu.
if you're sleeping are you dreaming?
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
before you actually get the chance to tell him the words, you get another phone call, this time in the middle of the night. it jolts you from your sleep and you scramble from the bed, searching for the device that seems to shrill so loudly in the silence that has covered your house. the caller’s name winks at you and concern immediately gets a hold of you as you answer, breathless and mind running with thousands of ideas, what could be wrong at this hour.
a minute later, you’re back in your bed, snuggled up under the covers and hearing the familiar husky, sleep-induced voice whisper apologies into your ear. junsu had a nightmare and wanted to hear your voice.
you find it hard (impossible) to be angry at him, when the other so clearly regrets waking you. when you try to calm him, emphasising that it’s fine, you’re not angry, he can call you any time he wants to, it takes time but in the end he believes you.
there’s silence before a shaky breath is inhaled and something clamps down on your heart.
’yoochun?’ a trembling whisper and you turn on your back, frowning at the ceiling.
’what is it, su?’
’d-do i annoy you with these phone calls? i can understand if i do… i know i’m clingy and… annoying and i probably try too hard, it’s just that i’ve never had a real relationship before and i’m just afraid you’ll disappear if i don’t call you every two seconds or that you’ll lose interest when i’m not around-“
do i try too hard to make you smile?
to make us smile?
you interrupt him, calling him stupid gently, for having such thoughts and insecurities when you could never get tired of him, could never get annoyed with him and definitely could never lose interest in him.
’i’m not going anywhere, baby. so stop worrying so much.’
’…yeah, you’re right. i worry too much.’ a forced chuckle. ‘i should get some sleep now. i love you.’
before you can reply anything, he hangs up and you stare at the phone, worried because junsu never hangs up like that and lately… lately there was always a cheerful, slightly doubtful ‘do you still love me, chunnie?’ before the actual goodbye and the absence of this is even more discomforting.
you don’t get any more sleep that night, thinking of how you’re going to surprise junsu by meeting him tomorrow, asking him once and for all what is wrong and then finally telling him, face-to-face, your true feelings in the form of those three important words.
i thought that the world had lost its sway.
(its so hard sometimes)
then i fell in love with you.
(then came you)
and you took that away.
(its not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)
the next day you finally find out just how insecure junsu really is. he tells you how he’s never felt anything like this before, how he can’t understand why such a perfect person like you ended up with him, an ordinary guy, nothing special at all. he goes on and on about his so-called bad points, while in your eyes there are none. he goes on and on about how you’re too wonderful and how he doesn’t deserve you, while in your mind it’s completely the opposite. he goes on and on, how he’s come to realise that he’s been pushing too much, demanding the ‘i love you’ too soon and that he really doesn’t expect anything, he’s happy just as long as he can stay by your side-
you shut him up with a kiss, a long, powerful kiss that leaves you close to losing control, and him trembling in your arms. you ask him once and for all.
’how can you be so insecure, so damn convinced of your unworthiness when it’s i who doesn’t deserve you, junsu.’ he wants to protest, you don’t let him. ‘it’s you that has turned my world upside down, before you came into my life, i was living in silence.’ unable to resist, you capture his beautiful face between your palms, letting your thumbs brush against the slightly bruised lips you had just kissed. ‘you brought sound, you inspire me, you gave me everything i need to feel happy.’ pressing another soft kiss on his mouth, you whisper into his parted lips. ‘i am irrevocably in love with you, kim junsu. and don’t you dare think otherwise, because that’s never going to change.’
finally, you have spoken your mind. you have said everything you haven’t dared to admit, whenever your friends teased you about your boyfriend. you’re in love, but that isn’t all. you need him, can’t live without him, don’t want for him to stop his calls, because you need to hear his voice probably just as much as he needs to hear yours. you love him and you don’t ever want to let him go.
the smile that stretches across junsu’s face after your breathless confession, is a sight that makes your heart beat madly against your chest, for the other is just too beautiful for words.
you love him. you love the shy glances he sends your way, you love the way he laughs with his whole body, you love his voice when he sings random melodies, you love the way he can’t stay still for more than one minute, you love his voice, his eyes, his face, his ears even. you love his heart and his random phone calls at random times of the day.
and you absolutely love, that the smile doesn’t disappear when you continue kissing him with soft nips and tugs. it stays on, pressed against your mouth and it feels as if he’s sending happiness, euphoria, love through it, straight into your lucky heart.
what you love more, though is how he starts to tear up, when he notices the salty drops sliding down your cheeks and then laughs at you and your excessive emotionality, while still trying to respond to your urgent kisses.
you take away the old.
show me the new.
and i feel like i can fly.
when i stand next to you.
i cant believe.
you actually picked...me.
a/n: so, good yes/no? ;____;
the song is Calling You by Blue October ♥
unbetaed. although I hope she will read this ♥