on Kevin
You know there are no chapters in any parenting book I can find on how to deal with your now gay ex-husband's ex-lover. There's not really anyone I can ask about this either, so more than any other time in this whole parenting thing I feel really lost.
When they were together, it was natural to include Kevin. He was part of John's life and such an integral part of John's life for so long that it would have been...strange not to include him. But now? Now he's not really part of John's life in the exact same way so there was a second where I wondered if that meant I had to cut him out of our lives too.
I'm pretty sure Kevin has mentioned before how much he wants to be a father. He loves kids, and they love him. At least Ryan does, and he's great with Ryan. He's a total natural and even more than John he's the first one to flip Ryan upside down and toss Ry up on his shoulders.
He's a boys boy which seems strange considering he's also the gayest man I know. I trust him with Ryan. It's a lot for me to say that, but I really do. He and Ryan just run around after one another outside on the lawn and my heart leaps out of my chest everytime I see Ryan even stumble but I'm starting to think Kevin might actually have eyes in the back of his head and quicker reflexes than me, because he always gets to Ryan just before he hits the ground. He scoops Ry up and disaster is averted. It must be all that choreographed dancing that has him so quick on that shit.
It's been a little awkward lately. Kevin and I probably have more in common now than we ever did and every once in a while I see myself reflected in his eyes. I don't know that we had ever really hugged each other until recently. Lately, we seem to hug and touch a lot..I think it's comforting to know we've both been in the same place and that it's going to be okay.
It is going to be okay, Kev. You're going to be a part of Ryan's life as long as you want to be a part of it. I hope you decide to stick around a while because he really loves you, and I'm pretty fond of you myself.
When they were together, it was natural to include Kevin. He was part of John's life and such an integral part of John's life for so long that it would have been...strange not to include him. But now? Now he's not really part of John's life in the exact same way so there was a second where I wondered if that meant I had to cut him out of our lives too.
I'm pretty sure Kevin has mentioned before how much he wants to be a father. He loves kids, and they love him. At least Ryan does, and he's great with Ryan. He's a total natural and even more than John he's the first one to flip Ryan upside down and toss Ry up on his shoulders.
He's a boys boy which seems strange considering he's also the gayest man I know. I trust him with Ryan. It's a lot for me to say that, but I really do. He and Ryan just run around after one another outside on the lawn and my heart leaps out of my chest everytime I see Ryan even stumble but I'm starting to think Kevin might actually have eyes in the back of his head and quicker reflexes than me, because he always gets to Ryan just before he hits the ground. He scoops Ry up and disaster is averted. It must be all that choreographed dancing that has him so quick on that shit.
It's been a little awkward lately. Kevin and I probably have more in common now than we ever did and every once in a while I see myself reflected in his eyes. I don't know that we had ever really hugged each other until recently. Lately, we seem to hug and touch a lot..I think it's comforting to know we've both been in the same place and that it's going to be okay.
It is going to be okay, Kev. You're going to be a part of Ryan's life as long as you want to be a part of it. I hope you decide to stick around a while because he really loves you, and I'm pretty fond of you myself.