Happy birthday, abra!
Happy birthday, abra! I didn't really have any ZoNa plot bunnies to slaughter, so I just took something you posted yesterday as a prompt and ran with it. I wrote it in a rush, so it's really not very good, but I hope you enjoy this tiny slice of ZoNa!
Title: You called me what?!
Words: 807
Rating: PG
Warnings: Zoro/Nami.
"Hello, swordsman." The sultry voice jolts Nami out of her alcohol-induced reverie and she follows the voice to find a skinny, scantily-clad and very feminine body draped over her drinking companion, so thoroughly that only a patch of green hair can be seen. Behind them are two equally sluttily-dressed women, getting a little too touchy-feely with Zoro's muscles for Nami's liking.
"Well, excuse me," she huffs. "Would you mind leaving the two of us alone?"
The three women detach themselves from Zoro and turn to her, their expressions unfriendly in the extreme. "Why, is he your boyfriend?"
Zoro and Nami lock eyes briefly. "No," Nami replies, and wonders whether that was a wince on Zoro's part.
"Then mind your own business, you fat bitch," snarls the most forward of the three.
"What did you just call me!" Nami looks the three women up and down, sizing up the competition. Okay, so granted, they are skinnier than her, but only because they're just skin and bones, hardly an ounce of muscle on them. And their busts are close to non-existent. "Zoro!"
"Huh?" His mug of sake halts on its way to his lips, and he shoots a wary gaze at her, his expression a huge "why-the-hell-am-I-being-dragged-into-this" question mark.
"Did I hear her right? What did she just call me?"
"Uh..." Zoro licks his lips nervously, every swordsman sense blaring "danger!" at him. "She called you a bitch?"
"Damn straight she's a bitch," the woman sneers.
"A fat one," her two cronies crow happily.
Zoro slaps his forehead. Even he, possibly one of the most socially-inept men in the world, knows you just don't say that to a woman. Even if you're a swordsman with a strict code of honour and it's the honest truth.
And especially not if that woman is Nami.
Even the three women seem to realise their mistake, as the atmosphere in the pub grows darker and patrons edge away as the black aura radiating from the navigator reaches them. Nami would make a damn fine Asura, Zoro thinks.
"Ah! She's scary! Zoro-san, save us!" The three women scurry behind him.
"It's probably best if you just apologise," Zoro advises them, because he knows even his bulk is no shield against her temper.
"Er...we're sorry?"
Nami's eyes glint with bemused menace, and she mouths two words that send shivers down Zoro's spine, as well as the spines of every vertebrate present. "Too late."
.
"You know, I'm glad I said you weren't my boyfriend, because you would be the worst boyfriend in the world," Nami remarks as they stroll back to the ship later.
"Whaddaya mean? I'd make a terrific boyfriend," Zoro growls.
Typical Zoro, Nami thinks. Hates to be thought bad at anything. "What kind of boyfriend stands there and lets his girlfriend get insulted in the worst possible way?"
Zoro rubs his head at the subconscious memory of Pain with a capital P. "I knew you were perfectly capable of defending yourself."
"Huh," is all she says, neither accepting nor rejecting his excuse.
"'Sides, they were just jealous anyway," he says dismissively. "I mean, they don't have your..." he makes a vague gesture in front of his broad chest, then seems to collect himself, blushes, and weakly completes his sentence with, "...muscles."
"Right," she says sardonically, repeating the gesture, just to show she doesn't buy that his appreciation of her chest area is all down to the muscularity of her pectoralis major.
He seems to decide that discretion is the better part of valour here, and just takes another swig of his one-for-the-road bottle and walks on.
"D'you want a chance to prove yourself?" she asks abruptly, and he stiffens up at the very notion of a challenge.
"Prove myself?"
"You claimed that you'd make a terrific boyfriend. Put your money where your mouth is."
"I would, if it didn't all belong to you anyway," he ripostes.
"If that's supposed to be a subtle way to get me to lower your debt, that's really lame."
Zoro shrugs. "I guess I can't afford you as a girlfriend then."
"Probably not," Nami agrees, and catches that tiny wince again before it's quickly hidden when he drowns his sorrows in another swig of sake.
"On the other hand, belis aren't the only currency I accept," the Bank of Nami hints.
He stops in the middle of the street, shooting her a startled look, his cheeks flushing in the moonlight. He licks his lips nervously, looks around quickly to make sure the coast is clear, and leans in to make his first downpayment.
Title: You called me what?!
Words: 807
Rating: PG
Warnings: Zoro/Nami.
"Hello, swordsman." The sultry voice jolts Nami out of her alcohol-induced reverie and she follows the voice to find a skinny, scantily-clad and very feminine body draped over her drinking companion, so thoroughly that only a patch of green hair can be seen. Behind them are two equally sluttily-dressed women, getting a little too touchy-feely with Zoro's muscles for Nami's liking.
"Well, excuse me," she huffs. "Would you mind leaving the two of us alone?"
The three women detach themselves from Zoro and turn to her, their expressions unfriendly in the extreme. "Why, is he your boyfriend?"
Zoro and Nami lock eyes briefly. "No," Nami replies, and wonders whether that was a wince on Zoro's part.
"Then mind your own business, you fat bitch," snarls the most forward of the three.
"What did you just call me!" Nami looks the three women up and down, sizing up the competition. Okay, so granted, they are skinnier than her, but only because they're just skin and bones, hardly an ounce of muscle on them. And their busts are close to non-existent. "Zoro!"
"Huh?" His mug of sake halts on its way to his lips, and he shoots a wary gaze at her, his expression a huge "why-the-hell-am-I-being-dragged-into-this" question mark.
"Did I hear her right? What did she just call me?"
"Uh..." Zoro licks his lips nervously, every swordsman sense blaring "danger!" at him. "She called you a bitch?"
"Damn straight she's a bitch," the woman sneers.
"A fat one," her two cronies crow happily.
Zoro slaps his forehead. Even he, possibly one of the most socially-inept men in the world, knows you just don't say that to a woman. Even if you're a swordsman with a strict code of honour and it's the honest truth.
And especially not if that woman is Nami.
Even the three women seem to realise their mistake, as the atmosphere in the pub grows darker and patrons edge away as the black aura radiating from the navigator reaches them. Nami would make a damn fine Asura, Zoro thinks.
"Ah! She's scary! Zoro-san, save us!" The three women scurry behind him.
"It's probably best if you just apologise," Zoro advises them, because he knows even his bulk is no shield against her temper.
"Er...we're sorry?"
Nami's eyes glint with bemused menace, and she mouths two words that send shivers down Zoro's spine, as well as the spines of every vertebrate present. "Too late."
.
"You know, I'm glad I said you weren't my boyfriend, because you would be the worst boyfriend in the world," Nami remarks as they stroll back to the ship later.
"Whaddaya mean? I'd make a terrific boyfriend," Zoro growls.
Typical Zoro, Nami thinks. Hates to be thought bad at anything. "What kind of boyfriend stands there and lets his girlfriend get insulted in the worst possible way?"
Zoro rubs his head at the subconscious memory of Pain with a capital P. "I knew you were perfectly capable of defending yourself."
"Huh," is all she says, neither accepting nor rejecting his excuse.
"'Sides, they were just jealous anyway," he says dismissively. "I mean, they don't have your..." he makes a vague gesture in front of his broad chest, then seems to collect himself, blushes, and weakly completes his sentence with, "...muscles."
"Right," she says sardonically, repeating the gesture, just to show she doesn't buy that his appreciation of her chest area is all down to the muscularity of her pectoralis major.
He seems to decide that discretion is the better part of valour here, and just takes another swig of his one-for-the-road bottle and walks on.
"D'you want a chance to prove yourself?" she asks abruptly, and he stiffens up at the very notion of a challenge.
"Prove myself?"
"You claimed that you'd make a terrific boyfriend. Put your money where your mouth is."
"I would, if it didn't all belong to you anyway," he ripostes.
"If that's supposed to be a subtle way to get me to lower your debt, that's really lame."
Zoro shrugs. "I guess I can't afford you as a girlfriend then."
"Probably not," Nami agrees, and catches that tiny wince again before it's quickly hidden when he drowns his sorrows in another swig of sake.
"On the other hand, belis aren't the only currency I accept," the Bank of Nami hints.
He stops in the middle of the street, shooting her a startled look, his cheeks flushing in the moonlight. He licks his lips nervously, looks around quickly to make sure the coast is clear, and leans in to make his first downpayment.