(no subject)
I just read half of all of my journal entries. It was very sad. My life has changed more than I had even thought about. Its kind of odd because you are the same person throughout your entire life unchanging, then so much happens and in the end of it all its so much but you are still what you were just with different beleifs hopefully progressive and not otherwise. I'm not saying I am too stupid to mature, but I am the same as I was from birth. Everyone is, and should understand that. I realized most of my ignorance was evident to me because it was going against my natural human make up, my child, it was unlike me. My ignorance was that of impurities. I remember when I was a baby sitting in the hallway of my Fathers house and him and my mother were talking to each other. My father had on a purple vest and was probably wearing Brut cologne, he was also probably getting ready for a gig. When I was a baby things moved so fast I remember being very young and thoughts I had were almost completely subconsciouse. when I think about it I can only remember specific settings and lighting and it is all in very instant frames oddly blurred. there is an ommision of specific detail almost like a dream. I understand why Surrealists are so obsessed with the childs mind. I think people forget that although the childs behavior may be poor its mind is amazing, and it doesnt change people just try to abandon it, they are trying to become without child, they want to "grow up" not just behave differently but be completely different, this is wrong in my oppinion.