(no subject)
I've been way too lonely and depressed lately. I'm going through the bottom of the curve in terms of my moods, though I'm managing to remain relatively perky/goofy some of the time. It's just been a long time since I've had the chance to be interested in a guy and to interact with him. I'm starting to feel very...undesirable...unworthy...un-likable, un-lovable, un, un, un. I feel very un. If I were more outgoing, things would be different. Meh. It's gotta be just a slump. I know I'm not worthless. Maybe it takes more for people to see my worth 'cause I hide so damn much.
The only people I REALLY talk to these days are my sister and my mom.
I miss Tyler.
I always say he knew me so well, but I often wondered about the truth of that statement. I think I just miss thinking someone knew me that well... And now I want someone in my life who really does know me that well. Nickie! I need to call Nickie. :( I hate that she's not the first person I think of anymore...
I miss my high school friends, the ones who have moved on to other places and have already grown into completely different people, so I no longer know them.
I miss night drives and phone calls lasting for hours that I didn't want to end. I miss not caring how tired I am because I'm enjoying myself so much. I miss parties. I haven't had enough of them yet. I miss being stupid enough to be happy with certain things.
I can't wait to get out of this particular rut so I can be happy again without thinking I need certain things to be happy. Damn ruts.
The only people I REALLY talk to these days are my sister and my mom.
I miss Tyler.
I always say he knew me so well, but I often wondered about the truth of that statement. I think I just miss thinking someone knew me that well... And now I want someone in my life who really does know me that well. Nickie! I need to call Nickie. :( I hate that she's not the first person I think of anymore...
I miss my high school friends, the ones who have moved on to other places and have already grown into completely different people, so I no longer know them.
I miss night drives and phone calls lasting for hours that I didn't want to end. I miss not caring how tired I am because I'm enjoying myself so much. I miss parties. I haven't had enough of them yet. I miss being stupid enough to be happy with certain things.
I can't wait to get out of this particular rut so I can be happy again without thinking I need certain things to be happy. Damn ruts.