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Jan 03, 2009 19:06

Word to describe my mood of late: meh.

I've been living in TV for a couple of days now. I think I'm dangerously close to ODing on Veronica Mars...but wait...that's not possible. Never mind.

I've also been craving Europe again. God, what I wouldn't give for a REAL vacation. Am I the only one who thinks that a true vacation entails no obligations? I think, if you're taking a trip, it should qualify as a break from everyday living. Pack up your shit, fly/drive/ride to X destination(s), where NObody knows your name...and just breathe in the lack of familiarity, the anonymity, the foreign air. It's the best way to exist as you are, perhaps even as you choose. You can be your favorite version of yourself when there's no one around to call you on it or remind you of your own downfalls. You can even escape that little voice in your head for a while.

Sometimes I wish I had become a drugged out adolescent or something, moved to New York or some other cliche running-away-from-yourself kind of place. People who do that have plenty of adventures. I wouldn't even mind going to Smalltown, USA just to drink coffee in a random, crappy diner, maybe chat with the locals. Who knows? Maybe I'd like it enough to stick around, get a job and rent a trailer or something.

You know when you're just sitting, daydreaming things like this, and you let out a sigh for what could be but isn't? The way that sigh feels...that's how I'm feeling. I am that sigh.

Paris was a slight approximation, but it was one day, and didn't come close to killing my craving. I remain unsatiated.

Maybe it's time for that whole school thing to hurry up and get here again...but once it does, I'll probably wish it hadn't.

One of these days, I will have the guts to get in my car, fill up the tank, and just drive, drive, drive. Get lost and find myself in some other place.
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