the dog days are over
so... i've got this sticker on the side of my bookcase that says "don't postpone joy." it stares me down and challenges me whenever i happen to look up at it. it should be a simple concept, but i really haven't figured out how to achieve joy. i have moments of happiness. like earlier this morning the sky was grey and i stepped outside on the back porch to check on my poor little cinnamon basil plant. it has not faired well do to the massive heat wave we've been experiencing on the east coast. when i bought it from the farmer's market they told me it only needed enough water to keep the soil wet, but these days it seems do best when drenched, but i suppose that's because it is so easy for my plant to dry out with all these record breaking days of heat. anyway, i was checking to see if it had tipped over in last nights rain (it hadn't) and i noticed some little flower buds starting to bloom. i clipped them off like i was instructed to by the farmer and then i just held the little blossoms in my hand, occasionally sniffing them while i leaned over the railing and watched the odd person walk by my house. it was a rare moment of pure content for me. i needed nor wanted anything else. i want more moments like that.
also, long time no see livejournal. i've been lurking about occasionally, popping in randomly but haven't really had any real presence here in almost a year, maybe more than a year. i should like to think it's time for a comeback.
i know most of you through the dbsk fandom, but i haven't really been apart of that in a while. it's kind of funny to think that i was a serious fan of something. i don't think i'll ever fall head over heels in love with a band again. sometimes i look at my play count for the boys' music and think, i don't even speak korean (or japanese). i had to look up translations or wait for someone else to translate their music, but still i allowed this huge space for it in my life. i remember thinking that i wasn't a good enough fan and didn't devote enough time to the fandom, but now when i think about those sentiments it's a sure sign that i was a fan. haha. to worry about not being a good enough fan most definitely makes you a fan.
so i probably won't talk much about bandom these days, though i may end up talking about other fandoms, since being apart of the dbsk fandom also introduced me to the wonderful world of fanfiction.
right, so if you're still with me after i dropped off the face of livejournal you probably don't mind sticking around for my rambling post about cinnamon basil plants, but if you do mind, you may want to defriend me now. no hard feelings. people out grow each other or maybe not outgrow, but grow in opposite directions. :)
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in other completely unrelated news, i cannot wait to try a porch swing. It is going to be so yummy and delicious.
i bought the lemons and pimm's today when i went to the grocery store. so hopefully tonight i'll go to yoga and come back and sit on my deck sipping a porch swing and pretend like i can see the stars in this little city of mine.