Me Me Icon Meme again... and stuff...

[byslantedlight]

First of all, a big hooray cos I finished marking in time - although they've already given me extra, and we're not even at the bonus deadline yet, never mind the regular one... *g* But yeay, officially finished!

Second of all - they missed out the whole Northwest Passage thing from Empire of the Seas, which waah, but still it was kind of a decent

Comments

[byslantedlight]

Yes - it's odd though, that people think it's okay to just vanish without a word to people they've called "friends", and chatted to daily sometimes (not just talking about Crimson here, obviously, it's not the first time it's happened!) It suggests that there's a different definition of "friend" on lj (which of course there is, but I know I see it as spilling over into the more traditional definition with some people - but then where does that spill pause, does it go all the way to "friend", in which case surely we don't just vanish from our friends without at least a shallow kind of last-meeting of some sort, where we both recognise what's going on?); secondly it also suggests that maybe some people don't expect to have that tie/link in friendship that suggests you'll look after each other on some level, that you'll be concerned for their safety etc? If they expect to be able to vanish without affecting other people, then - what does that say about the concept of relationships in general, these days? And maybe we should worry - in fact I'd rather like to think that if I did vanish completely from lj without indication to anyone, someone might care enough to track down my murderers/suicide note/the hospital to which I was taken! Conversely - say I turned up again after one of those events and posted about it, what would the resulting platitudes mean?! "Oh how awful, we wondered where you were, *hugs*"? Because if we don't act on things then doesn't it suggest we don't care enough to make the effort on someone else's behalf, in which case what are we doing here? Entertaining each other, and nothing more? Maybe that is all lj/fandom is... Hmmn....

[moth2fic]

I see what you mean. If one of my f'list vanished I'd certainly ask around and try emailing and if it was someone I knew in RL I'd probably check for if I had their address or phone number and check if anyone else lived nearer. If they were based near me and I knew their address I might call. If you haven't been given an address or phone number I think it might be better to assume they value their privacy. I'm not talking about Crimson here - just about anyone who vanishes. People who are ill usually give their log-on details to someone else to post for/about them. Sometimes authors vanish for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes people are just too busy to post - my daughter 'vanished' for months when she had her baby, except that she didn't really and I suppose anyone could have found out what she was doing from friends of friends of friends etc.

But you know, I've had people 'vanish' in RL too, and trying to track them down has once or twice met with hostility, so I'm cautious. I suppose it depends how close you think you are/were. A friend deserves at least a wave of farewell or an announcement before a journal closes.

I know I regard most of my f'list as friends - the real kind! - and I would try very hard not to vanish but if I did there would be people who knew why - maybe we all ought to have virtual next-of-kin mentioned in our info pages?? For the record, kat_lair, fledge (my daughter), and margaret_r would know where I was unless we're talking nuclear holocaust.

I actually regard many of my online friends as more 'real' than my RL friends because I share more, open up more, etc. And the instant support and advice in any trouble, however trivial, is worth a lot! (So are the squees when something goes well.)